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Cringy College Student Email

Another email bungle that went viral, this one from some college kid wanting - well, you'd have to read it to believe it. Even then, it's a big WTFH.

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From: some poor college drip

Sent: Tuesday, October 01, 2013 11:06 PM

To: some accounting recruiter

Subject: Question

📩Message: Hey REDACTED,

We talked a couple weeks back at the UW-Milwaukee accounting night. (I was the one looking for equity research positions and had a zit on my lip that could have passed for a cold sore. Lol. Whew.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Eyebrows raise* Huh? EWW, TMI! You actually wrote this to somebody!? Have you no sense of self-respect?

📩Message: It was not.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whatever, bleah, you're making my skin crawl.

📩Message: You're probably like, "uh.. What?" Maybe that helps you recall, maybe not. Not completely important, I suppose.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not at all important other than being something you just don't put in an email to anyone unless you are consulting your physician about your personal health. Only now your email address and name will probably always be associated in the mind of whoever you sent this message to, with some dude who has a honking zit on his lip. Way to go, man, way to go!

📩Message: Anyways, if you have a chance here is my question: (background first) I interviewed with BDO and Baker Tilly today, two firms that seem like good places to work, I believe they don't kill you like a big 4. Tomorrow I have an interview with Deloitte :O somewhere I thought I've always wanted to work. Obviously I don't have an offer so this is all hypothetical thinking, but if I get the job, the reality of the situation is that I'm getting old. 25.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Kid, that ain't old. Not by a long shot. Anyway, just where, in this ramble, is your question? More to the point, what is the question?

📩Message: I know you can't force love and I know it just comes when you're not looking, but

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Eyes going wide in disbelief* WHA!? what - how -just what the heck does your zit-face and your age of 25 and applying for jobs have to do with love? Where the heck did love get into this anyway? Dude, you got problems! Do you want a job, or do you want a date? You can't go looking for them both in one place. If it's a date/romance you want, try E-Harmony or Match.com. You don't proposition someone you're looking to get help from in a business venture!

📩Message: would working for a big four completely squash any possibilities for potential relationships if one came along?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Dude, get your priorities straight. You don't go to work to pick up dates!

📩Message: Is working for a big four a potential career - love trade off?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, it's a potential career, period! Forget "love" and just look for that in the appropriate places. Try the online dating sites or go clubbing perhaps. Though I don't know who'd want to date somebody who goes on about his ginormous zitted lip.

📩Message: I mean, I like money(as do most females)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hey drip! You're one of these people who think girls are only interested in rich guys, so the whole reason you want to make money is just to impress some girl? Oh, brother! You shouldn't stereotype. Why should it be "most females" liking money? The truth is most PEOPLE, from both genders like money! Face it, we all need it because life isn't a free ride.

📩Message: but love is...great :) What are your thoughts?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Cough, cough gag*

📩Message: Thanks!

REDACTED

Sent from my iPhone

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🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: so, this 25-year-old zit-face is lovelorn and wanting to get a job for the wrong reasons, and he has an iPhone. Wonder if he bought that with a student lone.

Good gosh, what a sorry excuse of an email!

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