Batchelor Producer Elan Gale's Diane 7A Hoax

It was the kind of hoax that anyone can fall for, though I sharply disagree with the sentiment in Melissa's blog. It *does* matter if it was fake or not. That's all that really matters when all is said and done. But consider the source. Melissa admits to being a hoaxer herself, which should explain why she considers Elan a pal.

So, what was Elan Gale's hoax?

A story about a badly behaving woman on a plane, and some man putting her in her place. And those falling could go either way, in support of "Diane" or Elan Gale.

Naturally, Buzzfeed really fed on it.

Atheist Ophelia Benson fell for it. My Christian cousin did as well, posting Benson's link on FB.

I too, fell for it, though did not re-share in outrage. For once, I agreed with Ophelia Benson as well as my cousin, and sided with "Diane" in the story.

I have absolutely no tolerance for potty-mouthed twits, so my initial FB comment read:


"The guy is nothing less than disgusting. While I don't like Ophelia Benson and her "free thought" blog (she is an atheist/anti-theist) I'm with her on this one. This guy should have left it at that if he knew Diane was not likely to be around next year. Not excusing her behaviour either, but when you're sick, yes, that does cause you to lose control easier. And what did this guy do? Twitter about it like a troll. Proactively seek her out to troll her online after the thing had been resolved back at the airport. Yes, this guy was a bully and a troll and I hope he feels proud of himself for continuing to harass a sick woman long after the initial tiff ended. What an upstanding manly man, that. *Sneer*"


A friend of my cousin chimed in with a post of the kind I'm always grateful for, letting us know that, regardless of how we may want to react, the story was a great big hoax, and provided this link.

So, the whole thing was perpetrated by some reality TV show person, wow. You know what, that only reaffirms my opinion even more. Only let's be a bit more specific, Elan is not merely a pathetic attention-seeking twit, he is a hoaxer as well. That means anything he says is fair game for mangling.

He claims in this ABC News article "I'm not a liar, I'm a story teller."

Yeah right. If he wasn't a liar, he would've done the courageous thing and come right out with the admission that his tall tale was just a stupid little story he made up in his own head to entertain himself on a plane, instead of letting it go on being believed and spread for days. The story itself is a big lie.

Yes, the reasons he made this thing up were purely selfish. Just for laughs, and to make some morality tale out of it that says "Don't be rude to service people."

Guess what? It wasn't funny.

He describes himself as a jerk with good intentions. *Sneer* Oh, the irony. The oxymoron.

Here is an excellent article from the Guardian that tells it straight up where Gale and his supporters fall. So does this article.

I'm with them. I'm not saying or pretending that I'm nice all the time, there are times I'm anything but, and this is one of those times. Elan Gale has made me feel like not being nice, because he has disgusted me with his potty mouth, fakery, and ultra hypocritical stance of trying to teach the public a lesson about being nice to service people. It just doesn't wash.

Elan Gale's Twitter.


And here's his Tumblr.

On that Tumblr blog, he kept the hoax going by whining about "All the hate mail" which he deserves short of threatening/wishing violence done to him or stupid cracks about his appearance, race, family etc. Because people tend to get very unreasonable and carried away when they're supposed to behave better than the one who provoked the outrage in the first place.

All the support he got while people still believed his story was sickening, all the support/encouragement he continues to get, all the kudos and pats on the back from people who think it was a jolly good hoax, rewarding him for his deceit is infuriating and nauseating!

Let's mangle.

* * *

28TH NOV 2013 | 2,882 NOTES

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: As some of you know, I had a bit of an altercation today with a woman named Diane on an airplane.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As everyone needs to know, the whole thing was all in your head, you cooked up this stupid attention-seeking hoax.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: I had a great time antagonizing her,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You always have such big bang up fun fighting with people in your own imagination? Yeah I'm sure you're the sort of immature toad who would get a huge 'lulz' out of antagonizing someone for real, after all, for your kind, negative attention is better than none at all. *Sneer*

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: reading your responses,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: BINGO! That's the key right there. Reading all the responses you were able to provoke from people because if this stupid hoax. I'm sure that really got you excited. *Rolling eyes scornfully*

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: and just generally trying to have fun with an irritating person.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gee, Elan, unlike you, normal people really do know how to have fun, and go looking for fun in real things like activities, hobbies, interacting with real people, even work. But you have taken desperate to a whole new low, your idea of fun being picking fights with your imaginary pals. and then trying to pass that off as real to get attention. Wow! Pathetic!

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: But I did have a point and I just want to put it out there.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah I'm sure you do. But you know what? Pro or anti-Diane, you, as a hoaxer, have absolutely no valid claim for sympathy, and no right to posture as if you're on some sort of higher moral ground. You made up the whole thing. You lied. And you didn't even make up this big lie for a good reason.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: I know I can come across as abrasive. I know I can seem harsh.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Try crude, disgusting, revolting, puerile. Oh, and, dishonest.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: But what I’ve never done is be unkind to a person in a service position.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And we're *derisive snicker* supposed to just take your word on that…?

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: My first job was in a video store. I rewinded tapes and put them back on the shelves.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The word is 'rewound' anyway, I'm supposed to care about your first job because you were a 'service person' and you got yelled at by so many customers, and you decided to make up this hoax as some kind of payback - and, you're desperate not to be forgotten. *Tsks*

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: I was a caterer. I put ravioli into divided plates and cut bagels in half for hours at a time.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Look, I get it. You were a blue collar worker. And you wanted to stand out by perpetuating this stupid hoax. Gosh, Elan, a bigger person would actually try to make a difference for the better.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: The difference between someone being nice and someone being mean was the difference in how I felt when I went home that night.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Holy crud, did you also write the 5 Lessons chain letter? Because if you didn't, well, let's just put it this way. No one needs that chain letter or your dumb hoax telling them to be nice, and you made up the whole Diane story anyway, schmuck. You know what the result is from my end? I don't want to be nice to you. I think you stink. So congratulations, if you were really going for trying to get people to be nice, you failed miserably where I'm concerned. Great job!

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: I don’t care what’s going on with you:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wow, nothing like stating the obvious! I've lost count as to how many chain letters have done that already. Of course you don't care what's going on with anyone else, just as long as you get what you want from people. Attention, and some sort of feeling of power/control over the masses. Seeing so many reactions to your hoax must've made you feel absolutely incredible! *Sneer*

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Don’t be rude to people who are doing their job.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You sure expended a lot of dishonest effort just to put that trite little pearl out there, something "nice" people already put into practice anyway. Yeah, élan, your message was pointless and your effort was rude in and of itself.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Don’t do it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If someone's doing a crappy job at their job, it's my right to have a say about it. So spare me your crocodile tears. You don't care what's going on with me, and I don't care about your job history.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Don’t dismiss them. Don’t act like they are less than you. Don’t abuse them just because you’re the customer and “The Customer Is Always Right.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nobody needs a mind-in-pants hoaxer preaching *that* to them…

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: If you’re the customer, you’re only right if you’re kind, polite and positively thankful. If you’re not, you’re a jerk, and that’s the bottom line.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're also a jerk if you deliberately don't do your job right, if you cheat customers, and you're also a jerk when you perpetuate hoaxes, and that is the bottom line!

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: A lot of people have been really nice to me and called me a hero today.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Cough, cough* You're anything but.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: It’s really fun to hear but it’s not true.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Holy cow! An honest statement from you! Don't hold your breath, Elan, my surprise should never be confused with being impressed.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Our troops are heroes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Except for the bad ones who go killing civilians, sleeping around with brothel women, etc.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Fire fighters and policemen are heroes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not the fireman who commits arsen and looks for all the world like the biggest hero trying to put it out. Not the cops who use brute force and commit any sort of raid and custody operation that is unjust, where they arrest innocent people based on bad information and sloppy investigations.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Doctors

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not the ones who are in it for the money. Not the ones who negligently give patients the wrong treatments or no treatments at all when life could've been saved and greatly improved.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: and teachers are heroes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not the teachers who indoctrinate students with bad political propaganda. Not the teachers who act inappropriately in the school setting.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Flight attendants and pilots and waiters and baristas… These are the people that make things work in this crazy world.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Big DUH! Well, sure, they make some things work, because that's what they've learned to do, and are paid to do. As for "this crazy world" as if your hoax just made it a little less crazy? NOT!

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: What I did today was just point out something we all know:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, you just tried to do something needless, point out the obvious. If we all know something, your stupid hoax sure isn't going to make it any truer or cause people to become any more knowledgable about it. So much for your mission of profundity...

So just what was that obvious pearl of wisdom you thought you were bestowing on the world by this stupid hoax? Oh, I can hardly wait to find out...

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Be nice. It’s Thanksgiving. Be nice.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Your favourite expression "Eat my d—" ain't "being nice" Elan. Duh!

Here's another hint on being nice. Don't lie and call yourself a mere story-teller. Nice people don't make up hoaxes for attention and as poor attempts to smack the world into shape.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Be nice everyday,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What a laugh, coming from a hoaxer like you!

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: but if you see a man or a woman working on a holiday you better respect that they would like to be with their family too.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You know something? In the days when I worked over the holidays at the hotel diner, I never once had anyone be rude to me. And - I never felt desperate enough to do anything so dishonest as make up a big hoax story about some fictitious rude customer just to tell other people to "be nice".

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: So have some compassion and have some appreciation.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Otherwise "eat your ****" right?

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Most people do. Most people are great.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which just goes to show you pulled off this stupid hoax for nothing.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: And then there are a bunch of Diane’s in the world.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, there is the Diane in your head, and a bunch of jerks in the world, you among them. And there are many Dianes in the world, some of whom are jerks, some of whom are very nice.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: And it’s OUR job to tell every Diane to shut up.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You can yell at your imaginary Diane to shut up, but I'm not going to go running up to everyone named Diane and say "Shut up!" Doofus!

No, a better idea is tell all the hoaxers and other jerks, whatever their names may be, to shut up!

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: It’s OUR duty to put the Diane’s of the world in their place.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. It should be our duty to put the Elans of the world in their place.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: We need to REMIND them about the way of things.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You need a slap upside the head. If I want moral advice, I sure as heck won't take it from the likes of you!

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: We outnumber them.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: We outnumber you, yes…

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: So, I’m really glad we had fun today,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Actually just you and every nimrod who bought into your hoax and joined with you in bashing your imaginary friend, had fun. I did not. I was against you right from the start, and that was before learning this whole thing was a huge hoax. Finding that out has only reinforced my opinion of you. Believe you me, it's pretty low. I don't care if you're a video tape rewinder, a ravioli arranger, a pilot, a politician, a musician, a pastor, a fireman or a brain surgeon, when you perpetuate a hoax, even "for the greater good" you are a liar. If you troll on the net, you are a troll.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: but I really hope you guys join me, look a jerk in the eye, and tell them to eat a piece of your body,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Glares at Elan Gale* You got the look, but I have a lot more class than tell anyone to eat any part of my body! Instead, here's my suggestion to you - go fly a kite, get a life, take a hike, shut up, put a sock in it (yes, that's your mouth, in case *you* get any other ideas) and if you can't do that, take a long walk off a short plank.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: because really, that’s what the holidays are all about.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The holidays are about eating your body parts? Elan, you are one sick…

theyearofelan: I will gladly accept criticism from anyone who has more information about yesterday than me. Otherwise, well, ya know...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Here's more information, you are behind this hoax and you stink. And no, I'm not doing the "ya know" élan, because unlike low-class you, I'm not into that.

theyearofelan: Please forward all future complaints to anyone who told you Diane had cancer

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Forward complaints to you? Uh, no. I'll just mangle your crud here instead.

I've got some theories about this - first, you slanted the hoax to rally support from all the server blue collar types, and of course, because this so-called "Diane" was a woman, that would get the geneer-obsessed involved in a bit of a lash-back. So anyone dumb enough to stick up for you in this phoney fight could be called Sexist.

You then upped the ante by bringing cancer into things, so that those who initially egged you on against "Diane" would feel good and crummy about that.

So, first you try to make all the "Dianes" or potential "Dianes" feel crappy, then you beat your own supporters with the big cancer stick. Wow. You rotten, manipulative, desperate attention-seeker. Oh, sure, you claim you weren't the one to come up with the cancer thing. Okay, it's just as likely some other jerk decided to expand the hoax with that, but really, if you had originated that, you surely could've pummelled both sides of the great flap you started and come out smelling like a rose to many netizens, but not to me.

I'll insert my comments throughout this interview found on this ABC News link.

Why Elan Gale Made Up an Epic 'Note War' on a Thanksgiving Flight

Dec. 4, 2013


Technology Editor

Follow @joannastern

😑JOANNA STERN: Elan Gale caught the Internets attention as he live-tweeted a fake feud over flight delays during the Thanksgiving holidays. Elan Gale caught the Internet's attention as he live-tweeted a fake feud over flight delays during the Thanksgiving holidays. Elan Gale/IMDB

The man who riveted Thanksgiving Day tweeters with a tale of a rude woman on a packed airplane said that he made up the story to entertain himself and his followers while on a flight. He said he was stunned to see it picked up as news.

In an exclusive interview with ABCNews.com,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Too bad ABC is the network that runs the reality shows he helps produce.

😑Article: Elan Gale, better known now as @theyearofelan, said he was making a "hyperbolic point" about being polite to those who work in the service industry, but that he "probably deserved" the fictional slap in the face.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Probably? No probably about it. He deserves it, no ifs, ands, buts.

😑JOANNA STERN: Gale live tweeted a long-winded fight between him and a woman named Diane on Thanksgiving Day. Diane, as Gale told us through tweets, was rude to a flight attendant when her flight was delayed and Gale decided to let her know just how rude she was in a series of handwritten notes. You can follow those tweets and notes here.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: His twitter is really cheesy and annoying, but I'll mangle thethose from the hoax when I'm done with this interview.

😑JOANNA STERN: After hundreds of retweets and countless news articles about the tweeted fight, Gale, a television producer who works on an ABC reality show, admitted that Diane was never more than a character he made up. Diane was never sitting in seat 7A. She never wrote a note to him and she surely never slapped him across the face.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The big question remains, why the heck was he so slow to react and set the record straight? Why make up this tripe in the first place? Oh, right, 'for the lulz'.

😑JOANNA STERN: It was a shocking ending to a story that thousands followed over Thanksgiving weekend. But why? Why did Gale decide to create Diane? Why didn't he reveal she wasn't real until days later? The following is an edited transcript of our conversation with Gale.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And in that whole thing, he never gives a satisfactory answer to that one. Well, let's face it, there isn't any.

😑ABC News: Why? Why did you make up Diane and the elaborate conversation you had with her?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I've been running a Twitter page for four years or so and on that I just do humor. I do one-line jokes, I do long-form jokes, I've live tweeted fake events before.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: in other words, your Twitter is a big waste of bandwidth.

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: Quite frankly, I was sitting on a plane and was thinking "how can I entertain some of the people who follow me on Thanksgiving?" I was sitting there on a plane and I did see a woman acting really rude to a flight attendant, who I thought was a nice guy. And I thought, "Oh, maybe I can do something on that to serve as a cautionary tale for people like that."

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And the lie just took off from there.

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I said horrible things in those notes that I would never say to a human being.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And we're supposed to believe that claim after you staged this big hoax?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: So I created this character -- Diane -- and I thought let's see if we can make her feel bad for treating someone who is also trying to get home poorly. That was the origin, but like everything on the Internet it evolved.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And you were way too slow to react. You should've said right off that this was just a story you were pulling out of your hat. That would've made it a lot more entertaining for those already tuned in to you. Probably wouldn't have gotten you noticed by others outside your own fan base, but that would've been for the best anyway.

😑ABC News: When did you realize that it had gone viral?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I didn't realize it had gone viral until late that night [Thursday]. Once I woke up the next morning on Friday and realized people were reporting this as news, I thought it was the craziest thing I had ever seen.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And I'll bet you laughed your fool butt off.

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: Anyone who would scroll back [through my tweets] would see what I am all about as a tweeter. My thought was I can't believe anyone is taking this seriously. I thought "Why isn't anyone doing any fact checking?" Then I saw it was on the evening news in Sacramento and it became this totally absurd thing.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The reason no one fact-checked it, - really? Just whose responsibility would that have been? The airline? Was it up to them to send a blast message out to the internet and various news outlets saying "That story about élan Gale and some supposed Diane from 7a never happened!" otherwise, considering who all doesn't read your Twitter, and who hadn't even heard of you before now, how would such people just know the difference?

😑ABC News: Why didn't you reveal that it was a fictional story then?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I didn't see how this was news. I was telling a story, I didn't feel a particular responsibility to address what other people were making of it. I never claimed it to be true. I never said, "this is news, please read it." And I honestly I liked the message.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's a cowardly way out, a coward's excuse. It doesn't matter that you didn't expressly say "This is news!" Your lie is one of omission. You made up the freaking story. It was YOUR responsibility to set the record straight.

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I wasn't trying to paint myself as a hero. I said horrible things in those notes that I would never say to a human being. That nobody would ever say. In fact, in all of my live tweets, I try and portray my character as an anti-hero -- as kind of a jerk with good intentions.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Antis tend to suck. Anti-chains, anti-Mary Sues, anti-heroes. A jerk with good intentions, talk about an oxymoron. I'm not buying it. If you're a jerk, someone like me isn't going to take your supposed "good intent" seriously.

😑ABC News: At what point did you decide to reveal the truth?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: When a rumor came out that this fictional character I had created had cancer, and people started writing about how I had bullied a fictitious person with cancer, it was so absurd to me that I didn't know what to do. That's when I felt like this has taken on a life of its own.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, if you didn't make up the cancer bit, the question remains, what low-life did?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I'm not a liar -- I'm a storyteller

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Excuses, excuses. "This isn't spam. It's legal." "This isn't a chain letter. Just stuff these envelopes and send them on to get money, it's perfectly legal." The difference between a story teller and a story teller who is also a liar is that a real story teller makes it clear right from the beginning that what they are telling you is only a story. You failed to do that, and that makes you a liar.

😑ABC News: Some have said you lied to the Internet. What's your reaction to that?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I never made any statement at any point that this was real.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's no excuse. You didn't say it was fake right from the get-go either. Yes, you lied to the internet.

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I made a concrete decision not to lie.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong. You made a concrete decision not to tell the truth, and just let people believe in that lie until you finally fessed up.

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: My story was my story.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: My stories are my stories too, but at least I make sure to let people know they are fiction, and I don't make up stories about myself and pass them off as real, or any other real person… I will sometimes include myself in a fictional story to illustrate a very real point. Example, Bloody Mary of the chain letter mirror urban legend meeting her doom via Capri, but that's to show Bloody Mary is just fiction, chain letters can't kill people, and the proof is that I'm still here. And I managed that without being vulgar about it.

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I'm not a liar -- I'm a storyteller.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You already said that, and it's still bullcrap.

😑ABC News: Do you regret using the crass language in the notes?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: In retrospect I should have said "gobble, gobble." It was Thanksgiving.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well you can go ahead and say it anyway, you turkey.

😑ABC News: What is your reaction to those who have called you "sexist" or "heartless"?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I understand people have sensitivities. I am a big fan of comedy and I think comedy is supposed to push the boundaries of what's acceptable. At the end of the day I was trying to be humorous. I don't see it as sexist or misogynistic or heartless because I was arguing with myself.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But you didn't let everyone else in on that fact before and during your little fantasy. Yes, as for the comedy thing, that's why I dislike much of what passes for "humour" in the media. I want comedy that makes me laugh, not tries to push buttons.

😑ABC News: Speaking of, who wrote Diane's letter? The handwriting was very different. Was anyone in on this with you?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I didn't plan this out in advance. I saw this person and just started to make up a story as it went. I had a friend back in LA who was on iMessage, who wasn't aware of what I was doing yet. I sent her some text messages and asked her to write them down on a piece of paper for me. She texted me photographs of the letter and I cropped them and posted them.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: wow, this is how you treat your friends, rope them into pulling off hoaxes with you? Wow what a loser.

😑ABC News: Did you have a message here?

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: When I realized people were paying attention, I tried to think, "Wow, I can really say something here." And everyone wins when you say be nice to service people.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, not everyone. some of us roll our eyes because we already do that and don't need some patronizing schmuck telling us how to act. Especially not when that schmuck turns out to have perpetuated a great big hoax!

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: If you want people to listen, you have to make them laugh.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Guess what? You failed with me.

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: It something that drives me crazy, to see people being rude to waiters, flight attendants, baristas. It's so easy to not do it. It's so easy to be polite. By no means was I trying to say everyone should write crazy notes to someone -- I was making a hyperbolic point. You should say something; you can choose your own method. I would not choose the method of my own character in the story. But if you want people to listen, you have to make them laugh.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Dress up your excuses in pretty language all you like, but as far as I'm concerned, your "be nice" moralizing takes a backseat to the fact this whole thing was a lie.

😑ABC News: Last question, did it hurt when Diane slapped you?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

👨🏻‍🏫Gale: I probably deserved it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What you deserve is a big boo-hiss.

This whole hoax Twitter fight got reposted on Storify. So, I'm going to mangle it as promised somewhere above.

😼Storify: As seen on Favicon for schleckysilberstein.com

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That link is from some German or Germanic language site and references what's already here on Storify

😼Storify: This Man Is Hilariously Live-Tweeting His Flight-and-Feud With The Woman in #7A

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It might be hilarious if it was for real and didn't involve physical violence or vulgarity, and someone who really was misbehaving got put in their place.

But it's all a dumb desperate hoax. So, not all that hilarious.

😼Storify: This Thanksgiving the Internet is thankful for Elan Gale, Twitter and the Woman in #7A.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: At least one netizen was not, on account of the fact that Twitter was used by Elan Gale to pull off a stupid hoax about a nonexistent belligerent woman in seat 7a in an attempt to relieve his own boredom and try to school the whole internet in how to behave.

One burning mangle of the lot coming up.

* * *

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Our flight is delayed. A woman on here is very upset because she has Thanksgiving plans. She is the only one obviously. Praying for her

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Praying for a figment of your sad imagination, now that's pathetic. Also a load of hogwash.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: She's telling the flight attendants that it is Thanksgiving. She wants them to know she wants to have dinner with her family

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You know, people who tweet and FB-status every single little thing that goes on in every second of their waking lives need a life. People who do that and turn out to have made it all up for kicks and to try schooling the rest of us need a real, not a virtual, slap upside the head.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: The male flight attendant said "I understand ma'am. I'm looking forward to seeing my family too." She responded "This isn't about you"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: At this point, where it a real conversation, I would have no problem telling her to stop being such a selfish jerk. The only way I'd keep quiet is if I was also in the presence of my own family, we would seem to mind our own business, but one of us might discreetly report the disruption. Were I there on my own, I'd tell her in no uncertain terms to shut it.

But, it didn't happen.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Her family is very important to her, she says. Her family has a special recipe for stuffing. She needs to be there to help. It is crucial

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: At this point, I might've be thinking this woman needs to get over herself. Surely her family could manage to put together a special recipe stuffing without her there. I would also be thinking this is the sort of woman I would not want in my house, let alone anywhere near my kitchen.

But, it never happened.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: She has a connecting flight. Why doesn't anyone understand she has a connecting flight? Why do people not understand her needs?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If I was looking at a live tweet-feed, I'd be wondering why the heck this person is so desperately tweeting out every detail of some spat and wondering how much of it he was actually missing because of having to tweet constantly. I'd be wondering why tweet when you can just turn on a camera and shoot the video as it goes down in live time.

But then, that would be impossible since it never happened..

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: "Today is Thanksgiving! I'm supposed to be with my family. NOT with you people I barely know!"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Looking at tweet-feed, I'd be like "Gosh, you still going on about that? Put your phone/tablet away before your fingers fall off."

But it never happened.

I'm not much of a Twitter person. I'd rather look at a real site consisting of content that consists of more than 140 character limit blips of this and that. If I had invested time looking at this crud, thinking it was actually going on, I'd be thoroughly put out with the guy after finding out it was all a fight he made up in his own head and used to amuse himself at the expense of time and bandwidth that other people could easily mistake for real.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: She had to sit down because we took off. She has been muttering "about DAMN time" and I can hear her breathing from 5 rows back

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Only Darth Vader (what d'ya know another fictional character!) breathes that loud, and he's got an excuse with that mask.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: I sent the lady a glass of wine and a note pic.twitter.com/GttnmQI25P

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Rubbish. Faked up picture.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: She's pushing her call button a lot

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: At this point, I'd realize you are an attention-seeking creep who's way too fixated on this woman and pathetically addicted to Twitter.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: The male flight attendant is giving me the "let's just pretend this never happened" face. Shaking his head a lot

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, that's actually funny. Some nonexistent person pretending something didn't happen, which actually didn't happen in real life.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: He gave me two little bottles of vodka but he won't hand them to her. He says I have to do it myself

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Are you daft? Since when is alcohol allowed on a plane, especially the hard stuff?

I could be wrong about that, but I have been under the impression that people aren't allowed to smoke or drink aboard an aircraft. And if I am correct, then that should be a giveaway that this whole thing was a hoax.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Oh my Hamgod I did it I walked as if I was going to the bathroom and I leaned over and put them on her tray table and walked away Oh my God

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: In your head only, and your blaspheming was replaced with an utterance of the name of a fake troll deity.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: She just stared at me like REALLY hard. She was breathing through her teeth and I think she just couldn't believe I was doing that

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: How about that? Even your own tooth-breathing creation finds you unbelievable. Wow.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I'm not going to lie I am shaking this is so terrifying she is so angry at me it's kind of incredible

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You've just managed to win first prize for scaredy-cat, hopeless Twitter addict, and droll hoaxer, all in one shot. Bad enough being afraid of a shadow, but scared of your own made-up characters, that's a hoot.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I don't really know what to do now I'm afraid to get out of my seat. This is like being on a roller coaster I'm scared and super excited

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah right… Hogwash. But it says something about your psyche. Not a pretty picture if an imaginary, or real angry woman makes you think of roller coasters.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: The male flight attendant just handed me a note from 7A From 7A pic.twitter.com/OEaCWw5mz3

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Another fakery.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: This means war

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: no, it means you should've gotten the heck off Twitter ages ago.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Well I don't know what I'm going to so next but I've got two hours left on this flight and I'm going to retaliate

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Over a note you sent yourself in your head.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Diane is in her late 40s or early 50s. She is wearing mom jeans and a studded belt and she is wearing a medical mask over her idiot face

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You should've explained that much earlier. It would've made your comment about hearing her breathing from rows back make more sense. Mind you, it wouldn't have made it more true. And you're still really, really creepy. Do you skulk around trying to watch women while they sleep too? Do you sparkle in the sun?

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: @USAirwaysHelp hi I find a passenger on one of your planes to be annoying. If I give you money will you remove her? I want to buy her seat

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If this had been a real account, I would've wondered what the heck took you so long to finally report her.

But we all know the answer to that now.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I cannot believe there are "Diane" apologists in this world. You're with me or you're against me!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No-brainer. Not a Diane apologist, but definitely against you.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I'm writing a note as we speak

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Seems that's all you've been doing. tweet tweet tweet tweet, you just never stop.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I'm considering balling it up and putting it in my mouth and spitting it into her tray table as I walk by but I haven't decided yet

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ewww. You're just gross. I can really feel that "be nice" message coming through loud and clear. *Sarcasm full volume*

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: I just walked by her and said "I'll be back shortly." Then I stopped and took this picture and smiled at her pic.twitter.com/dNWMMXE2cc

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: More fakery.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I have delivered the note

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: At this point I don't know why one of two things didn't happen. 1. Everybody who got your tweets in their feed didn't issue you a big steaming cup of Who Cares STHU. 2. Twitter didn't crash&burn.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: My response to "Diane" in 7A pic.twitter.com/cRN2togLdq

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: More fakery.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I can hear her breathing

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You've gone on and on about that already. My mental image of you is uber creepy.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: #TeamElan #7A #DianeCanEatMyD

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* It would serve you right to get bitten - literally. Then you might get a little incentive to clean out your mind. Or, maybe not. This is you after all.

And Hashtag "Team Elan" ? Aaaaaaaagh! You're like a creepy sparkly vampire in more ways than one, and I'm definitely not on your team… Or any of the Twilight crew's.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I have received a response from 7A

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Sigh&yawn* More fakery.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: Diane has responded #TeamElan #7A #DianeCanEatMyD ">pic.twitter.com/vYFyGtGMZl

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If she was real and this had happened, she could've reported you, and you would've deserved it. And again with that stupid team hashtag?

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I am working on my response at the moment

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't get why anyone and everyone in their right mind hasn't shunned you from their internet life as an absolute case.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Diane has received yet another note from me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You are certifiable. Or, that's what anyone who saw your stupidity before the big reveal, should've concluded by now.

And what were we all supposed to learn again? Oh, right, "be nice". *Rolling eyes* Epic, epic, fail fail fail.

🤥 elan gale She does not look pleased #7A #TeamElan #DianeCanEatMyD

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nice to know you fantasize about making women angry. Loser. That's what your hashtag should read "team loser".

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Landing in 15 minutes!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Here, have a quart of steaming hot Who Cares STHU. Just swill it and shut up.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: My final (I think) note to Diane in 7A ">pic.twitter.com/SLrOug9U4d

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Right, all depending on how long you could go on conning everybody and keeping them interested in your stupid hoax.

😉Andrew Hirsh @andrewhirsh: We are all @theyearofelan.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Pointless.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I have landed in Phoenix. No sight of authorities yet

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Who…Cares?

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Well, "Diane" just slapped me

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nothing quite like getting slapped by a figment of your imagination. What a moron. If I was there in the flesh instead if the Diane in your head, you'd be the one provoked into doling out a slap, and then you'd get your sorry butt hauled away. And I would be the one laughing. And I could even manage it all without a single vulgarity and without being a whiny brat.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: #TeamElan

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yuck! Not again with this stupid team hashtag.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I'm on my connecting flight to LAX now. I will update you guys as soon as I have wifi. Thanks for the support #TeamElan

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut it! I'm not on your "team" and really, just don't bother with the "updates" They're bogus and boring.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Okay guys I'm up in the air. Here's how it all played out...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You already tweeted that bullcrap, why do it again? Oh, I'm sure you are up in the air, on cloud9 that your hoax was such a success at an attention-grab&leg-pull.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: When I got off the plane I waited for her at the gate. I was holding another note in my hand and I was going to give it to her

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You know, I've pretended to be a lot of different characters in my own mind, but unlike you, a stalking and trolling idiot has never been one of them.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: She walked right up to me and slapped me immediately in the face

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, seems believable. Not. And it never happened anyway.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: The gate agent for the next flight actually grabbed her and held her back. He asked me if I wanted to have the airport police come over

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wow, bet you were in 7th heaven with that fantasy.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I said no

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because you wanted to be some kind of hero in your own mind and imagine droves of people admiring your *cough* forbearance. *Cough* But that wasn't even good enough, you have to write this droll story in real time and hope people would actually buy it, which, unfortunately, some who did, actually thought you were cool.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: She turned to the gate agent and said "Am I going to make my flight to Sacramento?"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As if you have this digital memory that works just like a camera to record and recall every single detail. Oh, that's right, there's nothing to recall, you made it all up, and this is just a bunch of embellishment.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: He said "no"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And I say, "bull."

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I laughed.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: and I rolled my eyes at the hoaxer who entertained himself so easily and was probably laughing at all the dupes flocking to support him in his utterly contrived spot of bother.

👨🏻‍🏫🤥Elan Gale: And then the gate agent said "Are you sure you don't want to talk to the police? You can if you want to"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bor-ring…

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: And I said "No. It's okay. I understand. But I do have a note for her." And I handed it to her and I walked away

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Boring bullcrap.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: The note said...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Something really sanctimonious, or really stupid. Or both.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: "Diane, allow me to introduce myself. I am TheYearOfElan..."

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What? You used your Twitter ID/handle instead of your name? Doesn't matter much since you were only dream-writing to somebody in your head anyway.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: "Look me up online. Read every tweet. Read every response. And maybe next time you'll be nice to people who are just trying to help"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: How would reading some bullcrap coming from a filthy-minded, hypocritical, bratty louse, teach even an imaginary character to "be nice?" How would reading any and all flames Diane would've gotten and support you got and didn't deserve, help her, or any real person learn to "be nice"

You are nothing but a pathetic joker who couldn't school your way out of a wet paper bag.

😼Storify: [Two additional tweets here from Elan that aren't PG-13]

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Love, Elan

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No love.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: #TeamElan #7A #DianeCanEatMyD #HappyThanksgiving

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shove that insincere wish down your throat and choke on it.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Let me just say this: What started off as an annoyance became a pleasure because of you people. Seriously. More than anything. I love you

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, I'm sure you were just tingling with euphoria at having so much of cyberspace on while being an annoying, attention-seeking twit, with some profound "life lesson" you thought you were teaching everybody, because you gots some kind of axe to grind over some unresolved issues over your suckish job-life. *Rolling eyes* You can't love me, you creep, you don't even know me. One thing is sure, I don't love you.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: And for the record, #DianeCanEatMyD for life. #TeamElan

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Cram it!


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh goody, is that a promise?

😼Storify: Update: Elan reflected on the experience on his Tumblr blog later in the day.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I noticed. *Sneer*

😼Storify: Update 2: Four days after these epic tweets were sent, Elan took to Twitter to let the world know that Diane never existed and it was all a hoax.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: So many questions unanswered about Diane. In 15 minutes I will post the photo and hopefully we can resolve all this

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Yeah, troll.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Here is Diana sitting in a chair pic.twitter.com/OE5q7j8dhr

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Thought you said her name was Diane. So, real person who isn't really named Diane, and wasn't on that plane, or completely made up via something like Photoshop?

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: Whoops. Meant Diane. Great time for a typo

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah. Good going. That's the only thing about this which really did make me laugh…from derision. She's so fake you can't even keep her name straight.

🤥elan gale @theyearofelan: I conclude by saying hopefully a few people got a few laughs over a slow Thanksgiving weekend

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Razzy, booooooo-hisssssssss! Thumbs down*

🤡Jason Biggs @JasonBiggs: Saving a seat for Diane at next Passover dinner. @theyearofelan

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

😁andy lassner @andylassner: While the world continues to dominate us in all areas, we here in America are very, very busy still discussing Diane. @theyearofelan

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which was exactly what that lout wanted.

🤐peterjscalettar Beet Saladbar @peterjscalettar: Sometimes it is hard to read the tone of your satire, @theyearofelan.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But if you're aware that's what he does, then all that's necessary is to realize that if it comes from him, it most likely isn't true.

😐Eli Braden @EliBraden: Our flight is delayed. A woman on here is very upset because of the Elan Gale hoax. She is the only one obviously. Praying for her

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahaha!

😐ELI BRADEN@ELIBRADEN @theyearofelan theleanover

🤔Adam Wilson ★★☆☆☆ @theleanover Dear Internet PLEASE SHOW ME ONLY TRUE THINGS. @theyearofelan

😈Kal Penn @kalpenn: @theyearofelan haha even funnier to know it was just brilliant writing & execution, feeding inner-monologues of all the Dianes @theyearofelan

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Oh, please…

👺Eli Langer @EliLanger: "Diane in 7A" is Manti Te'o's girlfriend, and we're all Manti Te'o.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gah. That other stupid hoax…

😼Storify: THE (REAL?) END

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whew! Thank goodness!

* * *

As for you, Elan Gale, no, I will not "follow" you on Twitter!

To throw your own words back at you from your Tumblr post about what unfollowing says:


"I don’t even want you in my periphery.

I don’t even want to haphazardly, accidentally, think of you even for a moment as I go about my day.

Your life details not only fail to interest me, they actually actively repel me.

And not just a little bit. A lot."


"I not only don’t want to run into you at parties, I don’t want to even know that you go to them.

I want you gone."

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Oh, and one more thing. I never have and never will knowingly, intentionally watch your trashy reality show!

Take that, troll! You're still a jerk and we don't like you.

Over and out!


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