Neal "Phrost" Fletcher's Stupid Chain Letter Rant Fail



Argh! *Facepalm*

Somebody emailed a spammy chain letter that misuses Jesus's death, and some freaking idiot Neal Fletcher reposted and ranted about it.

* * *


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What kind of justice? I don't understand that gobbledygook word in there.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯When Al Gore invented email,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, boy! For all your nattering and complaining about chain letters, you sure fell for a whopper of a hoax! Or else you were just trying to be funny and you failed. That old joke, first told by Gore himself, needs to die already. Gore claimed jokingly that he invented the internet, but he did not. And yes, there is a chain letter that claims he did, or that he said he did.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯he made Planet Earth infinitely cooler than any cap-and-trade program ever could.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You have a twisted idea about cool. Cap&trade is oppression for the sake of giving more money to the big wigs of the environmentalism cult of misanthropy. What's more, the movement is the biggest chain letter in all of human history. Away with it.

Gore had nothing at all to do with inventing something to make this a better place to live. All he does is blow hot air and blame it on the rest of humanity…

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯You mean I don't have to pay postage to correspond with people? And they receive it more-or-less instantly? Holy jujubees, that's awesome.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not only that, but the internet and accessibility programs have given some of the population a lot more independence and freedom to write back and forth, eliminating barriers that used to be there before the net.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯We completely take email for granted, and that's a shame.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Face it. We just don't go on being as amazed with something 10 years from the very first time we ever tried it. That's human nature, that's life.

What's more of a shame is that hoaxers deliberately take something great and try to spoil it for everyone, and then cranks like you come along and make it even worse.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Could you imagine how much more insight we'd have about the thoughts of America's founding fathers if Jefferson and Adams had gone back and forth over email with the disagreements that established the modern "left/right" debate?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Yawn* You wouldn't need email for that, you'd need time-travel. Anyway, boring. There are other people in history I'd much rather meet if given a chance, but that can't and will never happen while I'm living here, so there's no use babbling on in useless speculation about that. Next?

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯The idea of seeing smilies in TJ's writing notwithstanding,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bleah. Not likely. They lived in a much different time and I just don't see any of those stuffed shirts doing anything so informal in anything but their own personal letters to family, maybe…Or maybe if they wrote something like love letters to anyone. And I'm not ruling that idea out. Anyway, who cares? Next.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯email simply rules.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Unless you're more of a social network person.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Unfortunately, there's a law of nature which states that the degree to which something rules is directly proportional to the amount of people who'll do their best to crap all over it for personal, ideological, or political gain.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Count yourself among the crappers, because that's what you are from where I stand.

And yes, the law of nature is that every force has an equal and opposite force.

At this point, anyone reading this far might think I'm being a bit confrontational, unnecessarily unfriendly.

There is a reason for it, which you can only find out by continuing to read. His rant gets a heck of a lot nastier.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Consequently, it's important that when we, as upstanding and responsible citizens of the Intertubes

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: nope, that's not you. You're just an average bad ranter.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯encounter people who do their best to ruin it for everyone,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You've just added ruin to ruin.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯we push back.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There's a right and a wrong way of doing that. Yours is wrong.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯This is how you keep awesome things awesome.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, it isn't. The chain letter made the internet a bit less awesome. Your rant made it even less awesome.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯In that spirit,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: no, you have being awesome hopelessly confused with being childish and stupid.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯here's the response to an email I received today (original email chain follows, email addresses removed to protect the mostly-not-at-all-innocent:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And just how would you know they're not innocent? One person sent the annoying meme to a bunch of people. One more sent it down the chain until it got to you. So only the ones who actually forwarded it on are not innocent. Anyone else who they cross-mailed it to, you have no idea…

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Reply to Cody Peck

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: "Peck"? That actually is a surname, but I get the distinct feeling you chose to change his real name to Peck for your perverted pleasure. *Rolling eyes*

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯RE:FW: The (scientific) death of Jesus

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* I'm a Christian, and I hate this sort of chain letter!

I also hate this sort of rant-back.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯What is this idiotic swill and why is my Mixed Martial Arts website copied on it?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The history about Jesus is anything but "idiotic swill" however putting anything Jesus-related into a chain letter is idiotic and very disrespectful toward him. That bit about Gore inventing the internet is idiotic swill.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Really, a chain forwarded email? Is this 1997?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Newsflash, some people do still use email even though the 90s are long over, it's just that nowadays, chain letters have mostly migrated over to social networks. That doesn't make them any less chain letter…

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯 The next time I get one of these from Mr. Peck, I'm signing up everyone who's copied on it for a Cambodian Goat Porn newsletter (I'm sure there's one out there somewhere; it's the Internet after all...).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Impatient scowl* I'm really sick of you trolls and your stupid obsessions with goats!

Headless Angel Chain Letter

Furby Creepypastas

Neal Phrost Fletcher's Stupid Rant

Cut it out already, it's seriously a stale old idiotic meme that needs to die in a fire!

And as for your copying and subscribing anyone else other than yourself to any kind of porn, yes, I really hope you get deluged with tons of spam for that. Bad enough you're interested in it, but when you entertain the idea of subscribing other people, innocent recipients of this chain, who did nothing but be on the recipient list same as you for this infuriating spam, you're an example of the cure that's worse than the disease.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯That includes you, "Pastor Dave Samples", and you "Cheryl St Clair".

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Thought you weren't going to name names. Now you're threatening to arrange that some innocent people get porn trash spam. There is nothing upstanding about the likes of you! *Withering glare*

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯I'll bet you're all great people who just love getting loads of emails; what's one more?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: One more is a big deal when it's especially trashy and unsolicited… Big duh, Neal! the way it stands now, I don't even think you have any right to be complaining about chain letters when your idea of retaliation stinks all the way to Neptune!

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Huh? You don't want to be subscribed to disgusting garbage like that?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Duh, Neal, duh! *Twirls finger backward at temple*

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Now you understand how I feel about being sent unsolicited, mind-numbing, pseudoscientific,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It's not pseudo-scientific, you blithering moron, it's a combination of archeology, history, and belief/theory. You might not believe Jesus was crucified. I do. But neither one of us were there when it happened, thank God, and neither one of us can prove or disprove our points to the other.

Now where the belief/superstition comes in is that this is a chain letter that mocks Jesus and those of us who love him.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯digital proselytizing.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, it's a Christian-mocking chain letter that took a horrendous event in human history and exploits it to get Christians spamming the net. You are the one proselytizing here. It's clear you want to ram your own objectives down the throats of others, and you go even further by threatening actual consequences via porn trash spam.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯By looking at the list of other names copied here, I can assume most of you know Cody in "real life". Perhaps you can relay to Mister Peck that emailing nonsense like this

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And your belief that Gore invented email isn't nonsense? Your fantasizing about smilies in Thomas Jefferson's emails isn't nonsense? Right. Chain letters are nonsense, and should never include anything Jesus-related. But chain letters include that and so much more, such as charity hoaxes. If hoaxers get a lulz at getting people to cry and pray over fictitious cancer kids, they're not above pretending to write in the voice of a concerned Christian, only long enough to hit the readers later on with a "Send this or else."

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯to a website that primarily involves irreverent people who beat the crap out of each other for fun,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah I can totally see you doing that.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯is at the very least, poorly considered.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yes, it is. But your retaliation idea is also poorly considered, abysmally so, I might add.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Normally I wouldn't respond to something like this;

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: of course, just like those who forward/reshare some meme with the excuse "Normally I hate these chain letter things, but" there's always a but somewhere. In this case, you really don't mind chain letters all that much unless they are of the "religious" variety. Other chain letters are annoying but still somewhat tolerable to you, even though they are chain letters. But put in something about Christianity, and you're more mad at that than you are at it being a chain letter. Typical…

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯as the director of one of the largest Martial Arts related sites on the Internet (if not the largest), I'm used to getting a ton of worthless email.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't give a flying hot dart about your big online title. As for getting a lot of unsolicited email, you're sure not the only one, so that claim doesn't make you any more special or impressive either.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯This inbox has seen everything from legal threats because we shut down schools run by frauds and sex offenders, to death threats from people who actually believe they are Ninjas.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lol! Re the ninja thing. But - schools run by sex offenders, WTH? Not that I can quite believe you'd actually be interested in shutting down a sex offender considering your garbage idea of revenge against people who send chain letters, especially when that includes spamming people who didn't even send them in the first place. Your dirty mind just doesn't strike me as the sort of person who wants anything raunchy or unethical shut down.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯But over the past year or so, I've gotten a total of 6 emails like this from Señor Peck, along with one asking where he could find underground fighting events in Southern California (yes, like in that horrible Jet Li/Tom Arnold movie).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't know or care what movie you're talking about, but you've actually kept track of somebody sending you six chain emails when you supposedly get tons of emails from other people as well?

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯I don't know if the rest of the people copied on this email enjoy seeing "FW:FW:FW: STUPID CRAP", along with 13 suspicious .dat files attached. But

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, who really pays much attention to the subject line? It's just too bad one of those other people didn't reply-all in a classy manner, because if they had, maybe you wouldn't have spewed this e-diarrhea, and the internet would've been grateful.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯personally, I'd rather copulate with the appliance from the "Will it Blend" videos.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* There you go again with the foul e-sewage. Shut it! And I'll be sure not to recommend the "Will It Blend" to anyone since you apparently like them, and for all I know, they're probably 4chan.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Consequently I feel it's my sworn duty as self-appointed Policeman of the Internet,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, the internet dirty cop.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯to club The Peckster over the head with a grammatical, (not literal for those of you slow on the uptake) nightstick in order to teach him some basic netiquette and stop this reign of terror.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, you piffling, ruddy hypocrite, you need a few clubs of the stick yourself and to learn real netiquette yourself before you go preaching about it to anyone else! *Contemptuous scowl*

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯I do this on behalf of the rest of you,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You know what? Nobody asked you, people like me don't want your idea of help, don't need it, and some of us are a heck of a lot better suited at doling out help fighting against chain letters than you are.

and much as I hate to say it, but even some chain letters are slightly less odious than your type-written diarrhea..

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯the timid masses who sheepishly delete the emails without the nerve to ever speak up for yourselves.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't fall into that category. True, my straight-up-ness has cost me some contacts, but at least it was their own fault just for being buttburned and not mine for being a filthy-minded git.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯No need to thank me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scoffs* Thank you? I wouldn't dream of it unless it's thanking you to shut up and punching yourself in the head.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Of course, I'm sure a few of you actually appreciate being spammed when Pecky-chan hits "forward to everyone I've ever emailed" upon receiving something Christianity-related.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: '-chan'? Ugh! Why am I not surprised at your using otaku-speak?

No, I have no idea who your email frenemies are, don't get stuff from them, and do NOT appreciate anything Christianity-related getting reduced to spam!

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯But do you realize that at the end of the chain of viral email forwards like this, is a dastardly Spammer, stroking his waxed moustache and cackling with glee as he now has more valid addresses to attack? How do you think they get their addresses in the first place?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If you'd cut to this chase right away and dispensed with all that other stupid crapola coming before it in your idiotic rant, it might've had some merit.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯And given the kinds of emails I've received from his ilk, I don't think Spammy McSpammerton is big on the whole Jesus thing.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No kidding! Duh! And obviously neither are you.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Do you really want to help make a guy like that rich?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Of course not, but I have my doubts about you.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯So what's it going to be? South Asian grass-munchers in provocative poses, or removing me from this list and possibly (hopefully) expressing to Cody that it's stupid to mass-forward crap like your "send" button has Tourette's?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: How about this? You get mistaken for grass or some edible by a herd of goats and the result is you being taken offline? I like that idea.

👿Neal "Phrost" Fletcher: 🗯Yours in Christ,

Neal "Phrost" Fletcher

Executive Director - The #1 General Martial Arts Website"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: "In Christ" my foot!

considering the tasteless junk you wrote and your yammering on about anything Christian-related as just "pseudo-science" I suppose you belong to the big bang global warming cult…

Your idea of retaliation sucks out loud and so does the fact you apparently can't keep your mind out of the gutter. *Glower* Your rant is even worse than the chain letter. It fails. You fail even harder. Nice going.

Here's how a real push-back against this chain is done.

Now go get your brain washed out! Get it examined while you're at it. You stink!


Then I happened on another typical whinging ranter against "right-wing" email forwards, including the one Fletcher got.


🆔from: 💢🔅😈Shane

subject: re: Easter and Jesus’ Death – 60 seconds to understand

😈Shane: things I’ve never understood about this story:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

😈Shane: -how could Jesus have died for me when I wasn’t even born yet?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It's called looking out for the future of humanity, stupid!

😈Shane: -if Jesus died for our sins, doesn’t that mean by not sinning, we are wasting Jesus’s death?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, you're wrong, and you apparently want any excuse to "sin". *Rolling eyes* Such entitlement.

😈Shane: -how reliable are details like “nails were 6 to 8 inches long” when the event in question happened 2000 years ago?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ask the experts in that field. This was just a crummy meme.

😈Shane: -do the Roman guards (who were just following orders) have a parallel in today’s society?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ever heard of North Korea? And much of the underdeveloped world?

😈Shane: Maybe we can ask Satan about this stuff? Because the only other witness is Jesus and as the story indicates, he’s dead! (except for when he came back)


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wow, what a charmer, you would rather chum it up with the devil than Jesus. That says a lot about you. Yuck.

😈Shane: My message prompted a reply from someone else on the email thread:


🆔from: Random2

subject: re: Easter and Jesus’ Death – 60 seconds to understand

I don’t know about you but I serve a living God! He rose again on the third day and will come back again some day so that I can be with him in heaven.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yes, but you also need to discourage the spread of spammy memes that exploit and misuse religious references just to get re-shared and re-shared. The troll that started this one isn't interested in converting anyone to Christianity, and so-called "religious" memes do a lot of damage to Christianity on the net. They don't bring people closer together, they tear them apart and start fights.


🆔from: 💢🔅😈Shane

subject: re: Jesus’ Death – 60 seconds to understand

😈Shane: so if Jesus came back and is living, did he really die for our sins? seems like kind of a half-death at best. like Michael Jordan’s first NBA retirement wasn’t really retirement, you know? Kind of calls Jesus’s commitment into question IMHO…

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It's called a miracle. But you don't believe in that, of course... Your problem...

😈Shane: as for being with Jesus in heaven, what if it turns out he is not that fun to hang out with? for one thing, he certainly seems preachy… anyways I’m just saying I hope we can also hang with others, for example, I hope at least part of the time in heaven i get to spend with my shih tzu (his name is Buddy and he’s adorable!)


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Jesus won't be "preachy" in heaven because there preaching won't be necessary any more... And his "preachiness" is far better than your whining and stupid attempts at jokes.




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