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Star Wars Abominations

I'm not a fangirl or even an avid fan, too much has been done to SW for me to want to get invested beyond the original trilogy, and I didn't even like everything about that. Beyond this, I collect characters and do a little fanfic with a friend.

There are things I dislike too much about what SW has turned into, and would like it if Disney just hung it up for good.

SJW, Mary Sue/Gary Stu Characters And More.

First, the social justice (social vengeance) warriors got into production and ruined the franchise with their gender-obsessed feminist garbage. They were stupid to assume SW was made for boys in the first place, and went about deliberately shoe-horning more women in just to fill some affirmative action quota. They trashed the original characters into the bargain.

Understandably Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) is unhappy with this and I back him 100%

But get this. The social 'justice' people won't even leave him alone.

SJW Go After Hamill On Twitter For Nostalgic Photoshop Of How SW Should've Ended

And yes, social 'justice' warriors will accuse you of "racism/sexism/misogyny" if you don't like their favourite characters that got plunked into SW to satisfy their demands.

Screw them. Real fans want their SW back, and that does not make them "man-babies" as the name-calling squad AKA SJW say.

SJW can go make their own stupid crap films and leave well-established fiction alone and stop crapping all over us for disliking their hyper-political cruft. And if SW is "for children" as they say, all the more reason to leave their dreadful politics at the door.

Rian Johnson worked on SW, and is such a jerk that his plans for a new trilogy are cancelled.

How is he a jerk?

Well, actually, 'jerk' is putting it very nicely. He is a troll who cannot stop putting a particular obscenity in his stupid Twitter tantrums.

Disney. Oh, the nightmare that is Disney. Between what they did to Star Wars, and the horrid Reylo fangirls, it is one big bowl of nausea.

Now for the character problems besides that and Disney.

Rey, Binks, Anakin, and Maul. Ugh!

And quite a few others.


10 Most Annoying Star Wars Characters Ever


👨Andrew Dyce: It's no secret the Star Wars series has as many critics as it does fans, after the second dose of George Lucas' prequel trilogy soured the series for many. That doesn't mean the original films were flawless, or that every character they introduced was a home run, but for every character that has won an instant fan base (often spreading across platforms and into the extended universe), there's been just as many who keep audiences rolling their eyes - or covering their ears.

It's not easy to weed out the Star Wars saga cast members who truly spoiled the bunch, but with a new era of Star Wars dawning, and the release of the highly-anticipated Star Wars: The Force Awakens imminent, there's no better time to review the past, so the same mistakes won't be made again. Aside from being irritating, fans will notice that these human and alien stars embody larger problems, or hinted at future criticism, all while they had viewers hoping their scenes would end sooner, rather than later.

Here is our list of the 10 Most Annoying Star Wars Characters Ever.


Let's just get the easiest pick out of the way. If there are any who are willing to defend the Gungan known as Jar Jar Binks (voiced by Ahmed Best) - a blundering, jabbering klutz who winds up making decisions for an entire planet - they have yet to do so. Since the release of Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace, Jar Jar has become the mascot for George Lucas' questionable sense of humor for the entire prequel trilogy, and with good reason.

Fans can openly question several aspects of the character: his silly name, his Shaggy-from-Scooby-Doo strut, his aloof attitude, or inability to show even a basic level of common sense. Also the decision to give him a Jamaican dialect. Even if viewers were able to stomach his performance or, heaven forbid, his constant efforts to complicate or disrupt an already convoluted story, the fact that his impact on the series was overwhelmingly negative means every appearance is an annoyance (in a literal sense).


As the head of the Trade Federation, it's undeniable that Viceroy Nute Gunray is a gifted and manipulative businessman. But as much as the Star Wars prequels tried to convince audiences otherwise, he was hopelessly out of his depths when it came to politics or backroom dealings. To the Galactic Senate, he was the spokesperson of those systems who sought independence. But to the actual viewer, he was a cowardly puppet controlled by Count Dooku and Emperor Palpatine.

What crossed the line was the decision to portray Nute Gunray as obviously - obviously - sinister and two-faced, making every other character who failed to question him or believe he was up to no good appear idiotic as a result. His bug-eyed innocent act wore out its welcome almost immediately, but somehow he was the only villain to appear in each prequel alongside Palpatine.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: To make him suck even more,

👨ANDREW DYCE: his name is based on congressman Newt Gingrich and President Ronald Reagan (gun-ray, get it?), which is a good indicator of how much creative spark and character investment went into his creation.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Absolutely zero!

👨ANDREW DYCE: The wait was worth it though: his whimpering end at the hands of Darth Vader was one of the few truly enjoyable twists of the prequel trilogy!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: NOT! The only time Vader could please me by killing anyone is by killing himself...!


Nobody is going to deny that a teddy bear brought to life is an adorable thought. An entire race of living teddy bears, occupying an entire moon, and creating a tribal culture in the treetops? That's a dream come true for every human's inner child. But what if those teddy bears were a bit less cuddly, and a bit more... angry? Paranoid? Xenophobic? Aggressive? Grabby? Prone to poking or holding people at spearpoint at the drop of a hat? If you're like us, things suddenly go from irresistibly cute to weird.

Fans of Wicket (played by a young Warwick Davis), the first Ewok encountered, are easy to find, and the race's teamwork in taking down Stormtroopers with everything from stones to swinging tree trunks is admirable. But their jibbering language and general high-strung movements become irritating fast. And when you realize Lucas originally planned to have Return of the Jedi's finale on Kashyyk, with mighty Wookie armies taking down Vader's forces, they're an easy group to despise.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What? Oh, I would've loved that to happen! I'd be satisfied with the Ewoks taking it down, but Wookiees would've been better.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Sounds like a special kind of art component.

👨Andrew Dyce: Officially titled "Fodesinbeed Annodue," the two-headed Troig charged with commentating The Phantom Menace's famous podrace is hard to forget... but likely not for the reasons George Lucas had envisioned. That isn't to take anything away from actors Greg Proops and Scott Capurro, since their portrayal of a race announcer able to speak in both Basic (English) and Huttese is a clever idea.

What audiences didn't expect was to sit listening to close to three minutes of crowd work, inside jokes, and introductions to characters they'd never heard of, and would never see again. After that rough start, the duo are only charged with narrating events that are completely obvious, rendering them fairly useless. In a small dose, it could have worked. But prolonged, not quite.

Who knows, maybe Fode and Beed would have been more endearing if audiences got to watch the actors' actual performances - in full prosthetic makeup - as was originally intended, before Lucas decided to make the creature completely CG... and didn't decide to arbitrarily switch their characters around for some reason.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lol


The idea of introducing one more Hutt to the Star Wars movie canon isn't hard to grasp, considering the fame Jabba achieved in just a handful of appearances. But Ziro was a bit too much of a departure from his nephew than Clone Wars viewers could have ever expected. Sporting neon paint and tattoos across his body, colored purple and usually sporting a feather headdress, Ziro was a far cry from the typical idea of a crimelord in Coruscant's underworld.

He also didn't speak Huttese, but a heavily affected English. And by "heavily affected," we mean as high-pitched, accented and lispy as possible while still being easily understood. Unfortunately, the fans have nobody to thank for his unsettling/over the top delivery but George Lucas himself. In the beginning, Ziro spoke Huttese just like Jabba, and later in a deep, sluggish voice. Until one day Lucas was watching test footage and uttered a sentence that shocked the crew, but would soon become a piece of Star Wars history: "I want him to sound like Truman Capote."

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, now that is interesting!


It's entirely possible that Jar Jar Binks brought down the appeal factor of every Gungan character, so perhaps the odds were against Rugor "Boss" Nass from the very start. And as a general rule, adding small character tics or eccentric habits is usually a smart move in creating a memorable character. But for Nass, his trademark was a constant clicking, slobberring, or flapping his cheeks as if he was performing slaptstick for his fellow Gungan citizens.

It's a shame, too. In the larger Star Wars realm, the rotund Nass is one of the Ankura Gungans; a species separate from the thinner Otulla who, while making up a minority of the species, are among the ruling class. Since the film decided to ignore that history and simply include a rotund, slobbering, pigheaded leader refusing to help the Naboo, it's just a good thing his scenes are few and far between.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bleah. They should make the thinner ones slobber if anything. That would break some really bad stereotypes.


There was a time when people might have thought that C-3PO was as wooden, stuffy, neurotic and annoying as a droid could get. That was, until audiences got their first dose of WAC-47 in the Clone Wars, a DUM-series pit droid recruited to the Republic cause. He even earned the rank of Corporal, when he wasn't busy putting himself and his droid squadmates in harm's way to prove a point.

If you're one of the people who find bumbling characters who somehow find success instead of death hilarious and charming, then WAC-47 may be one of your favorites. Even so, his voice alone is enough to turn any Star Wars die-hard off, best described as a too-robotic C-3PO impression run through a synthesizer. With self confidence issues.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, weird. But I always liked 3PO.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: HECK YEAH!

👨ANDREW DYCE: One fact we can all agree on: Jake Lloyd was miscast as young Anakin Skywalker in The Phantom Menace (even the actor has conceded as much). Instead, the entirety of the blame has to lay on the shoulders of George Lucas, and whatever other writers he turned to for assistance in crafting the character's arc. Going by the original films, Anakin was a proud, incredibly powerful warrior who was turned to the Dark Side by tragedy. In other words, a fairly standard story of a tragic hero's fall from grace (and eventual redemption).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Annoying cliche out the wazoo! He went too far to be redeemed as far as I'm concerned anyway.

👨ANDREW DYCE: As we now know, that's not what fans got. Instead - and we're still baffled by the decision - Lucas created a character who was so clearly power-hungry, petulant, single-minded, self-centred and fascist-leaning, it's safe to say audiences were shown that Anakin was always going to go bad. In all honesty, nobody has to make a case for Anakin being an annoyance as a child, teenager and adult(?).

Bad acting, bad writing, emotional outburst and not just following good advice are bad enough. Knowing how it forever altered the Star Wars legacy annoys us to our core.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huzzah! Nailed it! Wooooooooooo-hoooooooooooooo!

And that pre-Darth name. Ugh!


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Another name issue. Although not spelled that way, it sounds like a delectable French dessert.

👨ANDREW DYCE: In hindsight, the popularity and cult status of Boba Fett is a testament to just how much a slick costume, a (very) few lines of dialogue, and imagination can turn a character into an icon. In the original Star Wars trilogy, Boba Fett is hardly ever referred to by name. He was little more than a bounty hunter taking Han Solo to Jabba the Hutt, and as a result, the actor(s) playing him never really mattered. He didn't do much - he instead implied a world in the Star Wars realm that writers and readers craved, and Boba Fett was the way in.

With that in mind, George Lucas' changes or "expansions" upon Fett are immediately suspect. In the Extended realm, basing the Republic's Clone Army on Mandalorian warriors made sense... so using Jango Fett, Boba's father as the source of the clones was harmless. Making Boba one such clone, having him serve no purpose in the story, and making him a whiny little brat constantly glaring at Jedi for no real reason? That's a mistake we'll never accept (at least his hatred of Jedi was finally explained... an emotion never shown in the original films).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not that I'm interested in the backstory anyway.


With so many changes made to the "Special Edition" you would think it would be hard to pin down the worst offender of "trying to be cool." It turns out, it's not: the digital insertion/overhaul of Sy Snootles and Joh Yowza is universally loathed, and pointed to as the perfect example of George Lucas' willingness to tarnish his classic, beloved films.

In the original version of Return of the Jedi, Jabba's Palace was revealed with a hip tune called "Lapti Nek," performed by the group known as Sy Snootles & The Max Rebo Band (a mix of performers in costume and the fully-articulated Snootles puppet). Apparently George Lucas fancied himself a song and dance director, and always felt the musical number should be a far larger production than what made the finished film.

That meant re-filming insert shots of alien backup singers, and replacing the impressive (and entertaining) puppet Snootles with a shiny, off-putting CG creature that felt as fake as a computer-generated character could be. It also meant the addition of Joh Yowza, a furry, gravelly-voiced, cartoonish warbler. The result was a bloated, out of place, and annoying (not to mention ugly) sequence that, in hindsight, was a sign of Lucas' coming indulgence in his prequel films.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oy!



10 Things We (Still) Kinda Hate About The Phantom Menace

By Wook Kim Feb. 10, 2012

Young Anakin Skywalker

Anakin Skywalker Everett Collection In retrospect, it was probably not a good idea to give lines both tin-eared (“Mom, you said the biggest problem in the universe is no one helps each other”) and grating (“Yipppeeee!”) to a young actor who delivered his lines with an energy level more suited for a family sitcom. (Which is by no means a knock on young Jake Lloyd — he gave the performance that Lucas clearly wanted.) Oh, and the idea that this annoying moppet built and designed C-3PO? Puh-leeeze.


“… The Phantom Menace, the first of a projected prequel trilogy, introduces the 9-year-old Anakin Skywalker… who will grow up to be Vader. … Based on what we see here, it doesn’t seem like such an ineffable mystery that this kid will end up a wheezing, intergalactic power-mongering control freak. A slave boy who already fashions himself a Jedi knight, Anakin is a precocious brat — the kind of kid who, in our own galaxy, might commandeer a playground and run everybody else off the jungle gym.”

— Peter Rainer, New York, May 24, 1999



The prequel(s). *Cough*

😡Page: The Star Wars Prequels SUCK and here’s why

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: In six words, Anakin Skywalker, Jar-Jar Binks, Darth Maul!

Ohmigosh. How could anybody give these characters such names in all seriousness?

😡Page: Lucas totally demystified the entire mythology of Star Wars by introducing that the force was strong in Anakin because of Midiclorians - intelligent microscopic life forms that live symbiotically inside the cells of all living things.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'd rather it was just because people who used it had some sort of component in their blood that didn't consist of creepy crawlies, but it's still better than the way some people have treated the force as some kind of deity.

😡Page: (When present in sufficient numbers, they could allow their symbiont to detect the pervasive energy field known as the Force.)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Like I said, that would work just fine for me if it weren't for the creepy crawlies aspect of it. I thank Mr. Lucas for putting a lid on this stupid force = some kind of deity's power.

😡Page: No, let’s not make Anakin or Luke “special”, let’s make them strong with the force because of some crap in their blood stream.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lol So what's the matter with that? At least they were born with it. It's no different from the way my fairies work except that whatever's coursing through the veins of my characters is magic energy due to some unknown component in their blood/bodies that isn't micro-organisms and has nothing to do with shaman/paganistic or elemental-dependent magic. Luke and Darth are also unique from a lot of other characters who get their special powers via freak accident. Remember Spider Man? And he sure isn't the only one to get his powers that way.

😡Page: We won’t even mention that the fact that even though Midiclorians are apparently the cause for Anakin’s abilities, the fact that Midiclorians exist has no effect on the outcome of the story whatsoever.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, well, since all living things in this series apparently have these little creatures in them to more or less of a degree, I guess that would help level out the playing field a bit. Can't have one person have all the power and mop up the galaxies with everyone else, now can we?

😡Page: Did the term Midiclorians ever come up again in any of the movies?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not in the classic series before the messed up prequels came along. But it's not a crime to develop backstories and theories for the way things are later on, it's just that, good as Mr. Lucas was at coming up with a hit series, even he isn't immune to mucking things up. He just did a very good job mucking it up with these prequels. But he certainly isn't the first, last, or only one. Even Beethoven and Mozart composed stuff that isn't universally liked.

😡Page: AND As unknown and mysterious as the force was, the audience had accepted it as fact. There was absolutely no reason to explain it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, so it should've been left unexplained, the problem is that the fans weren't content to leave it alone, and started treating the force as some sort of false religious faith in a false ambiguous deity-given power. I'm glad Mr. Lucas cleared that up.

😡Page: Uh. R2D2 can fly in the prequels (but not in the original trilogy).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What!? Okay, I haven't watched the prequels, and have no desire to because of Anakin, so, please pardon any jaw-dropping or face palming.

R2D2, flying? - The heck? That makes no sense, at all. It would if he started out not flying, and then was given some sort of super redesign in a later installment that allowed it. But that isn't how it was presented? This just doesn't seem to have been given enough careful thought.

😡Page: The prequels have crappy plots, or no plot at all. Most good movies have very simple but interesting plots.

Episode IV - a new hope had a great plot. A Princess - and member of the rebellion - calls upon the help of Obi-Wan Kenobi to deliver secret plans of the Empire's newly created battle station to her home world of Alderaan. Obi-Wan gets luke to help and we’re off to the races. Everything that happens thereafter happens in the course of trying to accomplish the initial goal. Simple but interesting.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Agreed.

😡Page: The phantom menace, however, has no plot at all. You could say the movie is about Anakin Skywalker being adopted into the Jedi order

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which worked out swimmingly. *Rolling eyes*

😡Page: - but wait - we don’t even meet Anakin until 40 minutes into the movie.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which was much too soon.

😡Page: Seems like the movie is more about the trade federation fiasco than it is about the characters.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bleh.

😡Page: Then there’s a race and then there’s a battle and then Jar Jar steps in poo.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lol!

😡Page:Or maybe its the other way around.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Poo steps in Jar-Jar?

😡Page: If you remember anything about the movie, I doubt you remember the order in which thing happened.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I know that feeling. There have been a few things I've read or watched that left me unimpressed and unable to recall much of the story, let alone the events in order.

😡Page: Lucas had no new ideas so he just “crowbarred” the same characters into the prequels.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hahaha! 'crowbarred' indeed, I like that! In addition, he ran some through a wrecking-yard and tried to reassemble them with parts missing or parts that don't fit.

😡Page: R2D2 for example. Episode || takes place 10 years after episode I. I don’t know about the Star Wars Universe

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Setting, not universe. Sorry, but one of my peeves about fiction discussion is people always calling story settings 'universes' instead of just 'setting' or even 'world', 'realm', or 'landscape'. There is only one universe, and it contains everything we are and everything we manufacture, including fictional settings we make up in our heads and put in books or up on the screen.

😡Page: but ‘round here computers last about two years and hardware - like a car - rarely lasts ten years - and if it did, I don’t know if I would depend on it to save my life in a f’ing space battle at the beginning of episode III, let alone through the rest of the story. It’s just not remotely believable.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If they upgraded him, it could work, especially since he seemed almost sentient.

😡Page: Deep breath.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hehe.

😡Page: Let’s suspend our disbelief for a second regarding all of the software and hardware issues.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay. I have a feeling there are far bigger problems.

😡Page: Having R2D2 in the prequels just doesn’t make sense relative to the story. R2D2’s memory wasn’t erased at the end of episode III. So why didn’t R2D2 just tell Luke that Anakin was Darth Vader early on.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No freaking kidding! What - the - …!?

😡Page: And why didn’t Obi Wan recognize R2D2?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? Oh, wow, those prequels don't just contain/create such unnecessary plot-holes, they are plot black holes.

😡Page: Hex, they spend all of epsiodes I-III talking to the f’ing robots but no, in episode IV, the old Obi Wan, ignores the very same R2 unit that saved his life several times throughout the prequels.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Facepalm* No, they never should've made the prequels. Not with these big plot mess-ups. The classic trilogy should stand. It seems as if this backstory has made something of a mockery of the classic.

😡Page: That’s enough, I’m going to take a blood pressure pill.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hehe!

😡Page: Anakin built C3PO. Really?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: WHAT - The heck!? *Throws hands in air* Oh, that's just too much! I've already completely rejected that girly boy, and acknowledge the despicable scoundrel in his rightful form, and 3PO has outclassed him by light years, so I completely reject the idea that Vader - excuse me - "Anakin" created something so much better than himself. Seriously, Mr. Lucas, you had a great thing going. So what the heck happened?

😡Page: Remember C3PO is a protocol droid fluent in over six million forms of communication.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There's no way something like that was the project and product of some mousy version of the series's main villain.

😡Page: So you’re telling me that the young Anakin - the child of a slave -

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Facepalm head desk face palm headdesk* Aaaaaaaaaaaagh! Oh, crapity crap!

😡Page: is building a protocol droid and not a worker droid that can take some of the load off of your poor slave mother?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What? And actually do something for somebody else? Not him.

😡Page: Shouldn't he be building a “do the dishes” droid or, if he’s less concerned about his mother’s plight, a baseball playing or soccer playing droid - something an actual kid might have fun with?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ah, he always had "I want to rule da whole universe!" thing deep in his psyche right from conception, whichever way you want to take that.

😡Page: And if you actually have the capability of building a protocol droid, couldn’t you sell the damn thing and buy your mother and yourself out of slavery?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Great question! But then, this is Anakarth Skyvader we're talking about. Hardly a humanitarian in the remotest sense.

😡Page: Maybe get a job as a droid designer?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Great points! So much fail in this muck pile.

🆔📛Ryan Renfroe

April 6, 2013 at 11:56pm

i even wish these movies dont exist

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Here, here!

🆔📛Ryan 🆔📛Renfroe

April 6, 2013 at 11:53pm

jar jar is so annoying.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I agree. But the one thing in his favour is that he's not a mangled all to heck version of himself.

🆔Page shared a link.

July 25, 2013

😏Great commentary on why the prequels suck

Patton Oswalt on the Star Wars Prequels

Patton Oswalt gives the best summary of the Star Wars prequels ever.

K-Zmuoze65Ua Youtube video

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* He wants to rewrite history by killing George Lucas with a shovel, is only interested in stuff being blown up, he sure as heck doesn't go into why the prequels suck, he uses rather salty lingo, including throwing a few f-bombs, no, his commentary, such as it is, SUCKS! Like that of so many other ranters who rant in annoyance about the very same things that annoy me, but they get tasteless about it or go off ranting about really piddly unimportant stuff.

He is nothing but a typical dull-brained troll.

Now, let's talk about the grievous characters.

1. Anakin.

Darth Vader Sucks

Darth Vader Sucks

Posted 02/10/10

🗣Article: As if die-hard Star Wars fans haven’t wasted their time and money enough, they decided to make a movie to vent their frustrations to George Lucas about how the franchise has sunk in the swamps of Dagobah.

But maybe they have a point with “The People vs. George Lucas”.

The prequels had too much talking and not enough action and the latest live-action movie, “Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith,” was a major disappointment.

Why? Because we saw Anakin Skywalker become Darth Vader in the most disappointing way.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which is a disappointment any way you cut it. Forget all the snivelling about not enough action, the plot-burn and this whole ' he didn't start out as Darth, he was Anakin" thing. Ugh! Nobody else went through that, and even if they did, chances are still better their previous names would've been better. But Luke was always Luke. Ben was always Ben.

🗣Article: Sure, the second and third prequels we saw him as a whiny and prissy Jedi whose dialogue was not that much better than your typical high school play. The only time Anakin grows a Death Star and has better dialogue is in “Star Wars: The Clone Wars.” This digital cartoon series takes place between the second and third prequels. So at some point Anakin gets nailed with a lightsaber before the third prequel.

But getting back to “Revenge of the Sith,” we were promised that Anakin would become Darth Vader. I foolishly expected, like many fans, that he would don the famous black outfit halfway through the film and start slaughtering Jedi. And that would be interesting and fun to watch, considering my 90-year-old grandmother, who can’t walk, gets around faster than Vader does in that Hazmat suit.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Fun and interesting? come on. It would be entirely predictable. That's what Darth does.

🗣Article: But no, we weren’t treated to that. We were treated to Anakin looking as if he had a bad case of the swine flu and a temper tantrum. And his first order of business? He kills a bunch of Jedi kids.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, come on, you're basing this on who he kills rather than the fact that he kills at all? *Rolling eyes* Either way is predictable, it's what he does.

🗣Article: Do you have any idea how easy it is killing a 6-year-old is? I do. My son and I play lightsabers and I’ve “killed” him within a second after our battle started. (But to be fair, my son has beaten me a good many times. And more violently than Lucas would ever show us on film.)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What a flimsy comparison. It's not the same at all. Vader isn't playing video games in the movies with kids, he kills those kids in the movie. Literally in the SW realm.

🗣Article: And really, how come Darth Vader became the coolest bad guy around?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because society is messed up and has forgotten you're supposed to hate guys like him. appreciate them for what they are in the story, but never lose sight of what they are supposed to represent, which is not coolness.

🗣Article: Let’s look at his cinema track record:

• He killed a bunch of kids.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which sucks.

🗣Article: • Couldn’t do a Superman leap of 20 feet

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lol.

🗣Article: and got his legs sliced off by his teacher,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What? Ewwurgh. *Grimace* I seem to remember he had his legs in the first movie. Certainly he did in the form of the action figures. But I don't remember everything that happened in the series by a long shot. But I know enough to know the prequels just trampled all over the original and messed up the characters.

🗣Article: even though we’ve seen these people jump much higher. So already he’s incompetent when it comes to jumping.

• Once he’s in the asthma protection suit, he kills his elderly teacher who moves around like he has arthritis.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: For gosh sakes, people. Who cares how slow and old/young they are, the point is Darth Vader kills them all the same.

🗣Article: • He fights his inexperience son and cuts his hand off, who is really only a Jedi in name only.

Because Luke only gets a week crash course with Yoda in a swamp while Jedi before him

gets years of training in a high-tech building. Luke got hosed big time.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Luke and Darth both, actually, in the case of Darth, he was given about the most unfortunate childhood name imaginable. And slicing off a hand isn't child's play either, you know.

🗣Article: • Then Darth Vader lifts his boss from behind and throws him over a railing.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which boss? One of the slavers? No credit to Vader, but if so, he would've done one thing close to right as he could ever get.

🗣Article: And this doesn’t count Vader’s force-finger death grip on his officers and rebels. It's hard to believe Darth Vader got the rep that he has with this unimpressive record. This should make Star War fans everywhere want to throw their Boba Fett underroos away.

But still, how can you be angry with Lucas? He gave us Star Wars!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yes, he did. The trouble is he just messed it up too much after a while.

another reason Anakarth Skyvader sucks - "I'm your father." *Facepalm

I always thought of Vader and Skywalker as being two surnames, and would've liked it to stay that way. Darth is a great first name for this guy. It sounds like a combination of: Darcy and Garth, and dark and death. He should've been Darth Vader right from the cradle onward.

But no, they had to go mess that up royally!

Anakin Skywalker. - Really? Anakin… Oh! That name! It hurts! It burns! It stabs me in the eyes and ears! It makes me want to shoot everything and then myself with whatever is to be found in the arsenal of all the SW characters combined.

Of all the things human thought could've spun out, why this? Urgh! Why did they have to go and rename Darth Vader this horrendously sissy name as a character in his formative years? “Anakin” sounds way too much like "Anna-kins," which is what one might call a little girl named Anna. It sounds almost exactly like ‘Annika’ but for the last syllable, and "Annika" is about as girly as a name can get. To top it off, it actually gets shortened to "Anny" or "Annie"! Oh, gag me! *Facepalm, head desk repeatedly*

Yes, I know, there really are names that are quite girlish IMO and are used for both males and females, and some of them are already cringe-worthy, but this has been taken to a whole new level of OMGWTH…

No wonder Darth turned out to be such a maladjusted brute.

Then, we get the whole bit about his being Luke’s father. Oh, for crying out loud! Really? Eckh. Gary Stu setup there. I'm not sure which committed this now way-overused cliche plot-boiler first, the SW franchise, TV soap operas, or fanfiction-writing, but it stinks. Talk about anti-climax.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: The horrible thing about Anakin, aside from the stupid name, is how they pretty much ruined a really good villain. Darth Vader was someone you could really hate--he blows up freakin' planets and chokes people with his mind just for bothering him. And then they had to make him Luke's father *gag* and give him a stupid moment of redemption, and just ruined it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Headdesk* Aaaaaaagh! No kidding! Please, when someone is this bad, please, for the love, just keep it that way! He's not just going to stop and drop every diabolical thing to suddenly be a daddy. Especially this dude, he's been trying and in some cases, succeeding to bump off his family tree and everyone else from the get-go.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Then finding out that he was an angsty brat just--ugh, it bothers me to no end.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Agreed.

2. Jar-Jar Binks.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, SHEESH! Jar-Jar Binks was just about the worst thing the prequels coughed up. Not as bad as super whiney, angst-meister Anakin, but pretty dang bad. He's just so pointlessly stupid and irritating.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Another point against Jar-Jar is that he actually *cough* makes friends with that horrible child version of Vader.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Although, if they hadn't made Anakin such a whiney brat, I might have been able to stand him. Maybe. Probably not.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Definitely not me. They should have just tossed that Anakin baby out with the bath, and let Darth be Darth, the bully boy. I still wouldn't have liked him, because I just don't get gushy over mean characters, but this is a whole different kind of dislike.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Hah! *grin* The thought of Darth Vader as the class bully is awesome. The little stink deserves to be taken down a peg or two.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I agree, it would not only make more sense, but he's just too much loved or at least tolerated in this unlikely wussy form.

Adamrulz.com on Jar-Jar Binks

Edits for language.

👨Adam: WELCOME TO the Jar Jar Hate Page

It's all Jar Jar's fault

Well it's official. It's all Jar Jar's fault. Supreme Chancelor evil dude played that blighter like a violin. After Padme's horribly short sighted decision to make him a substitute Senator, Jar Jar gives Palpatine emergency powers and there's no looking back from there. I mean that's the single most pivotal role in boosting him into the role of evil Emperor. Now ignoring the fact that this move has secured Palpatine's place as the undisputed ruler of the Galaxy there's the immediate repercussions to consider. He did it all to allow the war which will tear apart the federation. The death of anyone who dies during the Clone Wars as well as anyone killed during the Emperor's rule, including the entire population of Alderan, has all been directly caused by Jar Jar's ignorance.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Eckh! Huge Gary Stu, and what's even worse is that he wasn't even around when they made the classic trilogy. You'd think if there was going to be a character that was so important to the grand scheme of things, they would've at least made it a character from the original cast of characters.

👨Adam: Besides being a freaking tool Jar Jar is host to the most innapropriate comedy in movie history. I can't belive he actually says "Exsqueeze me" and that he says "How rude" 3 times. 3?! That's absurd!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Normally, I would disagree with you on this one, especially since I find the use of some terms even once to be ridiculous,including f-bombs, but I went looking for Jar-Jar videos on Youtube, and found not only a lot of them featuring him saying this, but a "How rude" video that is bound to make anybody go mental. What in heck was this Youtuber thinking to make this mind-melting repetition insanity? It's enough to make anybody want to put their head through a wall! Ugh! So please, if you say "How rude." and see me twitch or wince, this is why.

Ten Minutes Of "How Rude!"

👨Adam: What inapropriate dialect. I wonder if George knows that was made popular by Stephanie Tanner on Full House.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Please, tell me you're not another one of those tools who thinks there shouldn't be anything inspired by a show for all ages in SW. I've read that is a common complaint from some fans, and they need to get over it.

👨Adam: He brings inapropriate bad humour just when it's not needed.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Um..Redundancy. Since when is inappropriate humour actually needed? And just because Full House did it doesn't make it inappropriate for Star Wars.

Neither was it a deliberate racial stereotype. He is just, simply put, annoying. But too much screeching and trying to hard to be comic relief can really backfire. Other movie characters have done this, and Jar-Jar has both faux pas in spades.

👨Adam: The farting "camel" scene.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What?

👨Adam: Cut that out. It's a completely useless scene.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf:It would be even better if they cut anakin out completely.

👨Adam: Jar Jar Binks is a black plague in an otherwise excelent movie.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Uh, it was already ruined by Anakin, but Binks made it ruined twice over.

ernestm's Jar-Jar Irritation Page

🆔ernestm: Hear the Fans Speak

Our fearless readership can submit their own thoughts on Jar Jar here.

See below to read what other Star Wars fans/Jar Jar haters have to say...

Read Other Comments:

--🆔🐺Graywolf276: This guy is a freak, an imbicile, and an in-bred!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* This is exactly what I mean about people going overboard and reverting to unoriginality troll mode. This "inbred" stuff has got to go! I checked the Wikipedia on Binks, and nowhere does it say he was the product of inbreeding. Cut it out, people, this micromeme is really not funny and never was to begin with.

🐺Graywolf276: Some nutcase must've slipped crack in Lucas's beer to make him think of that ****!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, I'll give you points for not directly accusing him of smoking something.

🐺Graywolf276: He's a discrace to Star Wars!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Along with Anakin.

🐺Graywolf276: Lucas should do the movies the way he did the original trilogy.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Here, here! And that means not flying in the face of them. This whole idea of Binks being so pivotal to how things turned out, and Anakarth Skyvader creating C3PO - I just can't even… No, so very much no!

🐺Graywolf276: Jar Jar's nothing but a cross-dressing nymphomaniac!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Uhm, no, he'd have to be a woman to be a nympho, you nimrod, furthermore, where in the movies does he want to get it on with anybody? *Scowl* He's obnoxious and annoying, but sheesh you people, get real. Another minus for typical trollish suggestiveness where it doesn't belong.

🐺Graywolf276: He should be donated to a biology class on Corascant and be slowly disected, alive!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* And nobody wishes that on the likes of Slender Man, Jeff The Killer, Ticci toby or Laughing Jack.

--🆔🗯Dwoodfamily: There are no words to describe the pain the Binks thing should be put through......

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There are no words to describe the pain Slender Man, Laughing Jack etc. should be put through.

--🆔👹Shred40: They should stick jar jar in the movie CUBE with the characters and they could test the booby traps on him.If you saw the movie you would know wht iam talking about.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: They should ram Slender Man's own tentacles down his throat, carve out a frown on Jeff The Killer, force-feed Eyeless Jack with super glue, tear apart Laughing Jack, and obliterate the lot in a slow burn.

What I'm trying to convey here is that if you're going to hate some character this much, at least direct it toward characters worthy of this kind of burning hatred.

--🆔📛James: Star Wars Episode 1 was what I consider to be an "equal opportunity movie". Lucus had to inject a rapstar alien into his script and destroy his art.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not only that, but the abomination known as Anakin!

🆔📛James: He should have taken his work more serious because the rest of the world takes it seriously. What he did to his movie was similar to taking a diamond and rubbing it in a mound of manure.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Exactly.

--🆔🆔🐗Keith: The sooner someone slices the big eared gimp in half the better.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, good gosh, is that the best you can do? You hate him because he has big ears? Wow, makes me really want to get to know you… Not.

--🗯💩John: how jar jar should meet his fate - chewbacca disembowels him in wookie ritual ceremony.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No! Do not speak of Chewbacca that way. He is not a creepy pasta! Annoying as Binks is, this kind of action would be utterly beneath Chewy.

🗯💩John: two words chewbacca sodomization.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Glower* Two words: GET LOST! *Infuriated expression, facepalms* Aaaaaaaaaaaagh! Idiots! So many friggin' idiots!

See why I don't fit in anywhere? The fans who love characters go to the other extreme and do the crush Mary Sue fangirl thing. those who hate a character spout this kind of trash!

--🆔😈Griboux: I must tell you that before I suffered a bad car accident, I hated Jar Jar unspeakably so. Now with the Dvd, I watch TPM once or twice a week and I can always see and be reminded of my hatered of Jar Jar, but even so, I can see what Lucas wanted Jar frikkin Jar to be. The biggest mistake was locking in Ahmed Best and his homo-Jamaican accent.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 'homo' Since when are accents homo? Gah! Yes, his is annoying, and so was some obnoxious Jamaican version of some angel from another annoying rpger I had the displeasure of dealing with on the net ages ago, but sheesh, you were doing fine until you had a brain-fart and spewed out this stupidity!

--🆔🦃Rick: Show your hate for Jar Jar with some "Meesa Thinks Jar Jar SUCKS!" merchandise...


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bleck. no thanks. All I see is a bunch of stuff people are trying to sell.

--🆔👤Larry: Okay I get it, Star Wars is a "kids movie", according to George Lucas. I still think the character Jar Jar was horrible and the animation was just as bad. There were a lot of key characters in Episode 1 that could have been explored in much greater detail. It seems obvious to me that this movie was written and cast to sell toys. The success of the old trilogy lay in the fact that most of the actors were unknown, the story had to be good or nobody would come see it. Now the story is lame so they paid a bunch of big names to stand around with muppets and promised great new special effects so that a larger market could get suckered into buying a ticket to this movie. I for one will not be seeing Episode 2 in the theatre. Sorry, George no pun but you alienated your Star Wars fans. PS: Why were the effects in Starship Troopers so much better than yours?

--🆔🗯DESTROYERofCRAP: they should use the death star on Naboo and exterminate the entire race of retards

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: They should've done that with Anakin and went back to the drawing board to make Darth Vader a school bully, with name in tact.

--🆔💬HowellEdrickC: I don't hate Jar Jar but I feel he looks and acts entirely too silly. His role in episode 1 was useless. The movie would have been just fine with him cut completely out. I hope he doesn't appear in all three movies.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Anakin was worse than useless. He torpedoed the whole thing, with a lot of help from Binks.

--🆔👨‍💻Philip: Jar Jar Binks represents George Lucas' inner disdain for humanity. He inflicted this retarded clam on us as punishment for being so stupid-or so it would seem. He (Lucas) must be surrounded by yes-men that wouldn't dare question his hubris on anything. So sneakiy is this pervasive evil that it possesses my reason and I find myself saying "Okie-day".

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm not ready to judge Mr. Lucas. he did give us a good thing in the beginning, and it was good enough for fans to want more. He had a serious lapse in judgement, and the result was not only Jar-Jar, but the whole Anakarth SkyVader and being Luke's father. Bleck. I don't know how or why he came up with those ideas, let alone why he thought they might be good, it was a monumental screw-up. And not the first or last by anyone putting out a movie or book.

--🆔🗣Russ: When I first saw TPM I thought Jar Jar was going to be the character that kids loved most. I even thought some of the things he did were funny.

But when I saw the movie for the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time I was so over Jar Jar I wanted him dead like many others.

Fortunately he will have a much reduced role in ATOC.

BTW...fabulous site.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Interesting comment, and stated with class. :)

--🆔🤡GokuFievel: The Caring Parent's Guide to Keeping Your Home Jar Jar Free

It's about time someone like you showed up. Where were you to warn us for those of us who waited in line days before the movie came out? Well actually I cheated. I cut in line at 6 AM one day while everybody else was sleeping in their tents, I got there first!...but the cut...was in vain.

Greetings I'm GokuFievel, and I've got a rant and rave on Jar Jar. First of all I remember that when me and my family saw Episode I we were all telling ourselves like, "You HAVE to love this movie, you have to love this movie no matter what" and the sad thing is...it worked. I tried my best to blot out Jar Jar the first time I saw it, and it worked. So when we left the theatre I only remember the pod racing scene and the lightsaber scene. (And I think George Lucas knew that. He knew that the people had to like it no matter what because they had been waiting for it for so long) But when I went back to the theatre to see it again...that's where I saw the problems and just how HORRIBLE THE MOVIE WAS!

First of all, too much Jar Jar, not enough Darth Maul. Maul could have been a real HIT if that stupid idiot didn't get in the way! Darth Maul's battle performance was spectacular, there should have been at least three more lightsabor battles,...but NO! They were all used up for Jar Jar to put on his comedy. What's wrong with Hollywood? They have always been on a role with something really good, but NO they just HAVE to bring in the comic relief which later ruins the film. Just like in Independence Day, the world being blown up by the spaceships was amazing, until Will Smith acted like a home boy and ruined everything else. On my site www.gokufievel.com I rate Anime, perhaps you've heard of it like DragonBall Z or Ranma 1/2. In really good anime they do NOT purposely force comic relief on you, the comedy presents itself...but Hollywood has thought lately that if you've got all these special effects that you can get away with bad acting. Unlike the old days where everything depended on acting.

I liked Anikin the first time I saw him because he reminded me of when I was a young actor in school (I'd tend to over do parts). But when I saw him more, I saw just how BAD his acting was. He SOOO over did his part.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't care about that. Yes, that would've exacerbated things, but that Anakin child in place of what should've been a Darth Vader child singlehandedly ruined it all. Not even the best kid actor would've impressed me with that impostor of a character. And "Maul" In the same series, we have "Anakin" and "Maul". I just can't get past those names. Maul is is an attack on a human by a large animal.

Don't get started on how superior anime supposedly is. IMO, much of it is crap, comedy or not. People who just can't resist bragging about their anime obsessions are as annoying as Jarjar Binks.


🤡GokuFievel: If Anikin was a slave...why didn't they show him SUFFERING!? At least show his mother getting whipped by Wattoo.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Watto. And wow, another character for me to utterly hate! He's a slaver, and he's also got a name as stupid as Anakin's even if not so sissy. Down with Watto the slave-master! And adding to his repulsiveness is an aspect of his appearance, this letch has orange eyes! ORANGE!

And one way to get me hating a character with a frightening fury is to have them doing something sadistic to another, like whipping. Much as I dislike Anakin, I don't dislike Shmi, his mother, who even has a decent enough name, so seeing her get whipped, the very idea and mental image makes me want to kick a wall.

I don't blame Schmi for the name Anakin, I blame Mr. Lucas for that. Schmi is a tragic figure who possessed a lot more virtue than I would have in her shoes.

🤡GokuFievel: They could have shown Anikin use his powers when he'd would get angry seeing his mother getting whipped like a slave. But no, here's a HAPPY-GO LUCKY ANIKIN who must just loooooove slavery. Why is Anikin like a dwarf singing "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to slavery we go" I didn't buy him saying, "I dreamt I was a Jedi and freed all of the slaves" for a minute. He didn't mean it!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Agreed. I doubt his sincerity too, since he is Darth Vader, after all. Poor Schmi could have had my Ameh character as a child. Ameh would've given her right arm to have the loving mother Anakin got, but she also would've tried harder to have conditions improved and getting them both out of slavery.

🤡GokuFievel: And the biggest thing I noticed even the first time I saw it, was that it sucked up to everyone including the Star Wars Fans. Episode 1 is suppose to be Episode 1!!! In other words as far as everybody else is concerned the other Star Wars films NEVER EXISTED! Yet Episode 1 had "Sequel" more than "Prequel" written all over it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That is the other thing that just bugs me to no end! Seriously, what - the heck!? When something is as well established canon as the events in the first of the classic trilogy, you just don't go messing that up with some prequel that says everything isn't what it is and has actually been changed to that instead of this. Well, you can, but don't expect a warm reception.

🤡GokuFievel: For instance that R2-D2 "It should be commended" thing was YUCK! The first time I saw it. They were sucking up to the "Great and famous R2-D2" Isn't this suppose to be the first movie? I saw that everybody that worked on this movie on camera had this, "I'm on Star Wars...Ooo! I'm actually on the legendary Star Wars Yippee!" look on their faces. Lucas should have pretended that nobody had ever seen Star Wars before.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lol.

🤡GokuFievel: And now finally my thoughts on Jar Jar. I knew he was trouble the moment he opened his big mouth on the big screen. And the gungans themselves were even worse! Why were they talking like 2 YEAR OLDS!? "Oh, Jar Jar, you iz in big doo-doo this time" I went "What the #&^@ is that Kindergarten line doing in a Star Wars Movie!?" Then the gungan King with his froggy "Brrrrrrrrrrr!" move was SOULY for the kiddies in the audience. If Lucas wanted the Gungans to play a serious role they should have had a better reason for hating the Naboo.

Jar Jar would just never go away, I'd rather see more of Kenobi after all he's the real key player!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Here, here.

🤡GokuFievel: Lucas put Jar Jar in souly for the kids and I know why. I once substituted for a Sunday School teacher in 1999 to little kids (and I haven't since) and as I was talking about Moses the subject of Jar Jar came up, and all of the kids loved him to death while I gave my own opinions. Then I asked them what they thought of the other Star Wars movies...and they went like "There's more?"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, crap! *Facepalm* Ugh! Just - ugh!

🤡GokuFievel: Lucas made the same mistake in Return of the Jedi when he had the Ewoks acting so cute and cudely yet they were fighting the Empire. They got away with that because the rest of Return of the Jedi was really good. But it shows that Lucas can repeat mistakes, even make them worse.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I always thought that was a bit of an interesting dichotomy. It's like the Jawas. They're cute as Munchkins. But they were enemies. A lot more could've been done with them throughout the series.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Definitely! And I loved the Jawas--I always thought they were adorable. Though the Sand People scared me something awful when I was little.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No kidding! *Shudder* They were more than a bit creepy.

🤡GokuFievel: It's true that you do need a non-human character to please the kids while the adults concentrate on the actors, but the truth is C-3PO and R2-D2 had already been doing that for the other Star Wars films, why did they get the short end of the stick? The robots alone should have pleased the kids but no...Lucas got greedy!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm not upset about a cast of cute characters, butchery of well-established characters and giving them horrible plot anti-climaxes and other disappointments is what I take issue with.

🤡GokuFievel: Over all Jar Jar Binks put a curse on the whole long awaited movie.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So did Anakin.

🤡GokuFievel: And if it weren't for Darth Maul's great battle, the whole movie would have been in vain.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The whole movie was in vain.

🤡GokuFievel: One final problem with the movie was the conflict itself. Couldn't the war have been more vicious and more outnumbered like the other Star Wars movies were? What I'm saying is in the other ones they were up against a GREAT and powerful Empire! In which the odds were stacked against them. They were just a small Rebel band of leftover fighters against a mighty dictating army. While Naboo...since from the beginning you knew Naboo's chances of winning were already high. That invasion was never convincing. They spoke of people suffering on Naboo? Ya, where? The Trade Federation was no mighty enemy...they were just business men with guns. Very easily defeated, they had robots not soldiers to do the fighting for them...that's a WEAK ARMY! We should have seen much more war in Episode I.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Meh.

🤡GokuFievel: If I were involved with making or fixing Star Wars Episode I: I would do the following things.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I would make Darth Vader a bully and give Schmi a loving son with a different name, though not Anakin. Perhaps make Darth the offspring of Watto or that horrible Gardiface, whatever the heck that other slaver was called.

🤡GokuFievel: 1: Give Jake Lloyd some much better and much needed acting lessons! And if he can't do it, fire him and hire another Anikin.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I wouldn't even bother with it at all.

🤡GokuFievel: 2: Show Anikin suffering from his slavery. If he is to become the great and evil Darth Vader...to become a great villain you must have had a bad childhood. But Anikin looked like he was having too much fun being a Junkyard slave. Show Anikin getting really angry and using some of his powers. Show Anikin unable to control some of his powers, (like young Gohan in Dragonball Z) in another sense show WHY Yoda didn't want to train the boy!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nope, that idea sucks and is already over-done and too much believed. You don't have to suffer to be a villain, in fact, that just makes for even less of an excuse. Just make him an absolutely coddled, spoiled brat used to getting everything he wants, and naturally conscienceless. I'm sick of all the excuse-making "Oh, he is that way because of a bad childhood" thing. Please. Not everyone who suffers as a child turns out like that, and not everyone who has a good childhood or especially an over-indulgent one, turns out nice.

🤡GokuFievel: 3: I would have said that the Naboo and the Gungans were at a Civil War a hundred years ago and that the gungans were reduced to the ponds. I mean it would figure why they were down there hating the Naboo, then after the war the Naboo turned good and joined the Republic while the Gungans stayed thinking the Naboo were still evil. But NO! They're story was that the Naboo's brains were bigger. BIG DEAL!

4: Cut scenes with too much Jar Jar and replace them with new battle scenes. It's never too late to refilm, did you know that Tim Burton refilmed some scenes for "Planet of the Apes" only weeks before it was to come out.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So Mr. Lucas had no idea Binks would be received as such a fail. It happens.

🤡GokuFievel: 5: For Pete's sakes! Show Darth Maul, make him have at least a few more lines. But keep him quiet. I like Darth Maul not saying a word most of the time, it shows true evilness. And Darth Vader was too much of a blabber mouth.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahaha! Oh, boy, I've written stuff with people whose evil characters were horribly long-winded, and can think of one more from established fiction off the top of my head. Voldemort! That oaf NEVER shut up! Re, true about Vader, but his snoring, er, loud breathing annoyed the living heck out of me. But all really evil characters annoy the heck out of me.

🤡GokuFievel: 6: Give a better reason why the Trade Federation would want to blockade Naboo

7: Show the Invasion doing more damage than it looked like, the Trade Federation Invasion looked more like they were parking a whole army on Naboo instead of tearing the place apart.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whatever. Meh. But I'm not a fan of carnage scenes, and I find people whinging about not enough of it annoying.

🤡GokuFievel: 8: (This is what you want to hear) Jar Jar Binks should have either gotten killed or severely injured in the Naboo battle. In the Death Star Luke lost all of his friends except for Wedge and in the other movies Luke lost more friends during the war. You can't have a war without the good guys loosing precious people so Jar Jar should have died in the battle to keep up the Star Wars tradition to kill off at least one good guy! Or at least injure him to a wheelchair.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gah, your suggestion really sucks. Besides, since when is Binks good? He was Anakader's friend, wasn't he? Look, I just don't like seeing characters get injured. I know it's necessary sometimes as part of a story. But FCOL, just shut it already. You already said a lot of people on the good side die, what do you want, 3 hours worth of nothing but a bloodbath?

🤡GokuFievel: 9: The veterans of the original Star Wars were treated with NO RESPECT AT ALL!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: On this, I agree with you 100%!

🤡GokuFievel: R2-D2 should have done a lot more. And C-3PO should have not only done more but he should have been built by SOMEONE ELSE! How about Anikin's mother built C-3PO to help Anikin talk to Non-English speaking aliens.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That would've made a heck of a lot more sense.

🤡GokuFievel: 10: A More dramatic final space battle scene but the Lightsaber battle was the Icing on the cake!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: "I just want more battles, more blood, more violence! More more more!" Whine whine whine. *Rolling eyes* I just with the character/plot mutilations didn't happen.

🤡GokuFievel: And finally I have only one more thing to say and it's not to you...it's to George Lucas himself should he ever in the future or one of his affiliates come across your site. I want him to know some factors right now.

"Mr. Lucas, I have always had respect for you since I was a child. Star Wars was one of the very first movies I ever saw. And I did reports on you in school when you re-released the old Star Wars movies...but Mr. Lucas...you have made a terrible mistake with Star Wars Episode I and I am going to make sure that you don't do the same thing in Episodes II and III."

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You can't, you have no control over it and they've already been made.

🤡GokuFievel: "Mr. Lucas, you depended way too much on special effects. Keep in mind that special effects are just the background, extra's even. They don't count as characters. No matter how good the effect is, if it's got a lousy story and bad acting...the effects are absolutely NO GOOD!"

"Mr. Lucas, you got greedy with Jar Jar. He was just there to be the suck up to the kids and (so-called home-boys) but he failed to provide any real help."

"Mr. Lucas I'm afraid that you've strayed from your original expertise in fantasy war. The battle with the Empire was absolutely brilliant! But the Trade Federation were no more than just a bunch of businessmen with war toys. We need MUCH WORSE VILLAINS THAN THAT!"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're screeching again about nothing now.

🤡GokuFievel: "Mr. Lucas I read that the original Star Wars was influenced by WWII and the Roman Empire. I think that the Clone Wars should be modeled after WWI."

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, who cares? It's an interesting bit of trivia, but whatever war is mottled is really his decision. I care more about plot inconsistencies and character-steamrolling.

🤡GokuFievel: "Mr. Lucas I have seen the previews for Episode II, and I'm afraid that you have made the exact same mistake. You've CHANGED Star Wars for the WORSE! The Clone Wars had BETTER BE GOOD because in Episode IV Luke kept referring to it as if it had been a major war. But the Naboo incident was no good, Kosovo was a more realistic war than the Naboo conflict!"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Excuse me, I'll be face palming repeatedly.

🤡GokuFievel: "I heard rumors that you're going to show N*SYNC on Star Wars Episode II. Lucas if you do that over half of the Star Wars fans WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU IF YOU FOR THAT! If you let N*NYNC on, it is saying out loud that you are SUCKING UP TO THE GIRLS AND TO THE STARS!!! You hired unknown stars in the original Star Wars......why not for these?"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Eckh! That was done in the Les Miserables 2012 movie. They got a couple of - ahem - *cough* the 'hottest' guys at the time to play Valjean and Javert. And well, their performances were lacklustre. The last thing we need is that kind of pandering to the shallowest denominator, those being fangirls and fanboys.

🤡GokuFievel: "Also Mr. Lucas one final piece of advice I'd like to give to you and you can forget all of the rest of it."

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? Why write it all out then?

🤡GokuFievel: "Mr. Lucas pretend that we have all NEVER HEARD OF STAR WARS BEFORE IN OUR LIVES!!! Show each sequel as if it were the first impression. And if you blow you're so-called first impression, you're career is over!"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Better suggestion, just burn the prequels and start again from the drawing board, without mangling the characters from the trilogy along with their plots.

🤡GokuFievel: "Mr. Lucas Episode I didn't have Prequel written all over it. It had 'Sequel' written all over it."

"Mr. Lucas there had better be a very good reason for Anikin to turn to the Dark Side.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There was no reason to have an Anakin in the first place.

🤡GokuFievel: Mr. Lucas before you put out Episodes II and III I want you to review and re-watch those movies over and over again and if you see anything the slightest, "Cheesy, lame, or something that can be better" re-shoot it! It's never too late to do that. Tim Burton has done last second editing on a few of his films."

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You've already shot with that light sabre.

🤡GokuFievel: "And finally Mr. Lucas as a final warning. If you mess up Episode II...DON'T COUNT ON US SEEING AN EPISODE III! And that's a threat from all of us! Thank You!"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 2&3 are already out, ages ago, and messed up.

🤡GokuFievel: And Thank You for posting this LONG rant and rave on your site. Sorry for it being so long but I had to get some things off my chest too. Thank You!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, bye.

The Fanbase. Ugh!

Cruddy list of reasons George Lucas supposedly sucks at who-sucks.com

Who Sucks

9 Reasons Why George Lucas Sucks

Posted On Tuesday, 03 Jul 2007 By John. Under Celebs, People

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: He doesn't suck, just some of his movies do.

🙎‍♂️John: George Lucas is a rather unassuming, bearded fellow who lives entirely on coke and candy bars.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You know who really sucks? It's you, John. I cannot stand people who do the food-cop thing. You don't know for sure what he lives on, furthermore, it's none of your freaking business. If he wants cola and candy, fine. You eat what you want and keep your nose out of the next person's plate. Got it?

🙎‍♂️John: Somehow, this man managed to produce the greatest series of postmodern art films ever created,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And you somehow think he shouldn't have been able to do that because of cola and candy… *Scowl* Take a one-way trip out of this galaxy, will you?

🙎‍♂️John: and then turn around and ignite the indignant passions of the very people that catapulted him to stardom – the Star Wars fanbase.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, he did. He's in good company. And a lot of other fans are easier with stuff done to other series that I couldn't stand. So I get this. I just keep having to put in reminders that Mr. Lucas isn't the first or last to really bungle things after creating something great.

🙎‍♂️John: Thirty years ago, with the release of Star Wars in 1977, George Lucas became a hero to millions of 12 year old boys.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And girls. Me and a close school friend were Star Wars fans too.

🙎‍♂️John: Now, in 2007,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It hasn't been 2007 for quite some time.

🙎‍♂️John: he sucks.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, he doesn't. You suck.

🙎‍♂️John: Let me tell you why:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I already told you why you suck, and I'm not likely to except your *cough* reasons why you think he sucks. You did such an epic fail at the beginning of this article that it pretty much invalidates everything else you have to say.

🙎‍♂️John: 1. Greedo shoots first. In the original version, Han Solo shoots Greedo first, under the table. In the 1997 Special Edition version, George Lucas makes Greedo shoot first from point blank range (and miss). Then Han shoots him in retaliation afterwards. This led to an online petition demanding the changes be retracted.

In the 2004 DVD release, the disputed scene was altered again to have Solo and Greedo shooting at almost the same time (though Greedo still shoots first). The 2004 DVD release also altered the scene to where Han “dodges” the shot by digitally leaning him to the side.

The 2006 DVD had two versions — the 2004 changes and the original theatrical version. The theatrical version features no changes, including Han Solo shooting first without Greedo firing a shot. When announcing the dual version DVDs, Lucasfilm made note of the fact that the controversial scene was included by saying: “…and yes, see Han Solo shoot first.” This is just one of the many revisions he continues to make to the movies and storyline.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So basically you demand fan-service and when you get it, it's never good enough. The sequence of who shots who, really? That would be annoying for anyone who keeps painstaking track of that sort of thing, but, really? I'm more upset at what was done with the actual characters and plot.

🙎‍♂️John: 2. Jar Jar Binks. Named by George Lucas’s son, this abomination was put into Star Wars Episode I to provide comic relief. I don’t remember laughing.

Jar Jar was widely rejected and often ridiculed by the fanbase. Lucas’ animation team even warned him that Jar Jar was coming across poorly and that there was concern over how the character was to be projected. Lucas responded by saying that he put Jar Jar in the film specifically to appeal to children. The issue was then forever dropped.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, for - the - last - time!: There - is - nothing - wrong - with - trying - to - appeal - to - children… Get over it.

Jar-Jar Binks sucks because he's annoying and a Gary Stu. And over-done comic relief. So far, you haven't actually given any reasons George Lucas sucks, this should've been titled "9 Things About The Star Wars Franchise That Suck".

🙎‍♂️John: 3. Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker. Many felt he acted the part poorly. But the blame can’t lie entirely with Hayden due to George Lucas’ equally poor script. The love scenes were entirely too forced, unnatural, and too obviously scripted. If anyone wants a citation for this, go watch the prequels.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It's not the actor or the script that sucks here. Anakin - just - sucks - out - loud.

🙎‍♂️John: Furthermore, Lucas felt that replacing the spirit of Anakin with Hayden in the 2004 DVD release of Return of the Jedi was justifiable. This created further controversy.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It never should've been done.

🙎‍♂️John: 4. Ewoks.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Again, stuffed-shirt fans got their feathers ruffled because heaven forbid something was brought in that appeals to kids blahblahblahblahblah. *Rolling eyes*

🙎‍♂️John: Many Star Wars fans objected to these furry little beasts. In fact, some consider the ape-like chipmunks to be the beginning of Lucas’ “fall from grace.â€?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's their problem. What the prequels did to the original plot and characters is infinitely worse. You people are a bunch of cry-babies.

5. Jake Lloyd as Anakin Skywalker. A terrible choice on Lucas’ part.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Heck, Anakin was a terrible choice on Lucas's part.

🙎‍♂️John: The kid was just annoying. This is evidenced by the fact that he received nominations for Worst Supporting Actor and Worst Screen Couple (Jake Lloyd and Natalie Portman) at the Golden Raspberry Awards.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's because Anakin is an absolute dud. Nobody could be a good enough actor to pull off this epic character-fail.

🙎‍♂️John: 6. Lucas is a bad director and an even worse screenwriter. The Empire Strikes Back is arguably the best Star Wars movie, yet it was directed by Irvin Kershner; Lucas did not write the screenplay either. Also, many people feel that the more involved Lucas becomes with a Star Wars movie, the worse it becomes. He received nominations for Worst Director and Worst Screenplay at the Razzie Awards.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The best cure for insomnia is reading or listening to film snobs prattling on self-importantly about who is the best director, who is the worst director, why this person should've directed this movie instead of that person etc. etc. Look, some of us just don't give a hoot about you snoots' opinions. if you want a movie done right, you direct it yourself and see how well it gets received. Until then, kindly shut up.

🙎‍♂️John: Additionally, while directing the original Star Wars, his only directions were “faster” or “more intense”. At one point, when he temporarily lost his voice, the crew provided him with a board with just those three words written on it

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't know if that's a true story or just a myth.

🙎‍♂️John: 7. He’s arrogant. Even when confronted by the poor quality of his screenwriting, he puts the blame on his audience rather than himself: “People take it different ways, depending on their sophistication.â€?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, you finally came close to a reason why you think he sucks. Still, he's not entirely to blame. Yes, he mucked up, but so have fans that get all up in arms over the battle scenes and effects rather than how the characters and plot got burned by the prequels.

🙎‍♂️John: 8. He might be a control freak. One example is that the author of the Revenge of the Sith novelization dedicates his book to George Lucas. Yet the book is copyrighted by the aptly named company, Lucasfilm. The real owner of the book dedicates the book to himself, the owner.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? You just talked in a circle.

🙎‍♂️John: 9. Overuse of CGI. Lucas apparently had an obsession with using CGI for nearly everything. In fact, it was somewhat of an irritation for the production staff. “He directs in the editing room,” one said. Hardly a frame of film was shot that he didnt recompose later using computers. Many fans feel that Lucas overuses CGI, and that in many cases more traditional special effects or film making techniques would be easier, and indeed preferable.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Meh, to each.

🙎‍♂️John: What sucks the most about George Lucas?

all of the above.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, you just went through all of that and now you feel it necessary to summarize it too?

🙎‍♂️John: He sucks at writing and directing.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Headdesk* You already said that.

🙎‍♂️John: Jar Jar Binks.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: oh, really? You already said that too. Are you really going to go through the whole list twice?

🙎‍♂️John: His holding the Original versions of the Star Wars Trilogy hostage & refusing them a DVD release.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't understand that either.

🙎‍♂️John: His endless revisions.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which don't bode well considering the prequels.

🙎‍♂️John: He's arrogant.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're whiny.

🙎‍♂️John: he is rewriting history by saying that everything in Star Wars (that doesn't sucks) is from him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: He came up with the concept. So get over it already.

🙎‍♂️John: Howard the Duck

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I have no opinion on that movie.

🙎‍♂️John: the fact that he's amazing. Whoever wrote this... I pity you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well save it. It's still better than being a food-cop.

🙎‍♂️John: He made money off his idiocy.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, who spent the money on it in the first place?

🙎‍♂️John: he intended star wars as a movie for kids.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Facepalm* So get the freaking heck over it!

🙎‍♂️John: most people fell for it... lll

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Just shut it already.

🙎‍♂️John: The fact that the only decent addition to his cash cow over the past 20 years had to be made by some fan editor called Magnoliafan.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Somehow I doubt it.

14 Responses To “9 Reasons Why George Lucas Sucks”

Some obscene jerk Says:

July 17, 2007 at 3:15 pm

I love it, but yeah, George dropped the ball when someone introduced him to the computer and he was allowed to make anything happen :(

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Cry me an ocean. SW never would've happened without that computer in the first place. Jerk.

🆔📛David Says:

🙎‍♂️August 20, 2007 at 8:58 pm

I voted “arrogant.” Even if he sucked at writing/directing, at least if he were humble enough to get someone else to do it (like Empire) the films would turn out well.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You guys really have a huge buttburn over that. *Rolling eyes*

🆔📛Pete Says:

July 13, 2008 at 1:20 am

🙎‍♂️I agree with david – I voted for “arrogant” because a bigger/less stupid man would just acknowledge that he’s more the idea man than the craftsman and get someone with some actual talent to write and direct the films (versus basically ruining the foundation of my childhood by churning out crab). So yeah, it’s the writing and directing but the arrogance has gotta come first.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wow, talk about a load of sour grapes.

🆔📛Jaden Says:

October 14, 2008 at 8:08 am

😡awww but i liked the prequels alot mbetter than the originals because the prequels had better plots, characters and presentation. eh give it a rest, if you dont like his films then please dont watch them.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh my freaking gosh, well, all I can say to that is, to each their own. *Shaking head*

🆔📛Bob Says:

November 4, 2008 at 7:21 pm

🗯Jaden, you’re a knucklehead just like Lucas. The prequels were garbage. Actually, if they were done a little better, they would be garbage. Lucas will remain forever a loser to me until he comes to his senses and releases the original theatrical versions of episodes IV-VI. Everything in this list is true, and then some. The replacement of Anakin in Return of the Jedi as outlined in #3 above is simply blasphemous.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If the prequels were burned and there was no Anakin, that would be wonderful. But you sissies are screaming stupid personal cat-calls at Lucas when you should be aiming your discontent at the plot problems and character-screw-ups.

🆔📛CJDavidson Says:

March 22, 2009 at 5:54 pm

💬I enjoyed all three of the original Star Wars films when first screened. (Decades later, the prequels were fun, if not actually targeted at my generation.)

I do not enjoy revisionism. It’s bad enough when Ted Turner attempts to colorize the black and white classics, but I can not help picturing George Lucas fantasizing about ‘fixing’ the Mona Lisa’s crooked smile…

Mr. Lucas, tear down that wall between original Star Wars and it’s fans!

🆔📛Bob Says:

May 23, 2009 at 8:00 pm

🙎‍♂️your all just angry because he is rich and awesome and was very successful and you werent. give the guy a break he’s a freakin amazing director and screen writer or what ever

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I actually agree with you on this to a point. But your first statement is wrong.

I am just not at all happy with what was done in the prequels.

🆔Film God Says:

June 10, 2009 at 4:48 am

👹Bob and Jaden are complete idiots, anyone who considers Lucas a ‘great director’ and ‘screen writer or whatever’ is a f#@#@ing certifiable twit and should die in a fire,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Your handle sucks, so does your attitude, and you should wear a sign that says "I'm an idiot, don't mind me."

👹Film God: Thank you

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're not welcome. Take a hike!

🆔Shiggy Says:

September 3, 2009 at 1:34 pm

🗯The fact that he changed Anakin’s spirit to Hayden is proof that Lucas is a f**king dumbsh*t.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't care who played him, the character stinks, spirit or not.

🆔Rocket French Says:

November 28, 2009 at 12:42 am

💬Just read 9 reasons, very interesting points, i think you are right.

🆔Rosetta Stone Chinese Says:

November 28, 2009 at 2:23 am

💬you conclusion is precise and certainly right!

🆔Movies That Don't Suck Says:

December 24, 2009 at 8:05 pm

💬Empire… best of the BEST! Do you understand me? THE brain-killING BEST! brain-kill those prequels and brain-kill Return of the Jedi! Irvin’s take on Star Wars can never be matched. Not even Lucas can hold a candle to that sci fi epic.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Cut the blaspheming!

🗯Movies That Don't Suck: please… just go away. -_-

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Please, just go away. Too bad your comment was so full of f-bombs.

🆔Hammond Parts Says:

January 7, 2010 at 6:48 am

💬A lot of the fan reaction to Lucas and his newer work is the subject of a new documentary. It’s called The People vs. George Lucas. I found a trailer for it on youtube (found it without even knowing it existed, actually); I’m curious to see how much of this stuff makes it into the doc.

Also, another guy made a 1-hour long, 6-part youtube video review of The Phantom Menace, and basically picks it apart into a million pieces. Both thought provoking and relentlessly funny.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If it's riddled with obscenities, dirty humour, nit-picking over stuff that actually doesn't matter all that much, and personal attacks on Lucas, or any of the above, it's suckish.

🆔Bathroom Suites Says:

January 20, 2010 at 6:17 pm

💬Completely agree with your comments on this – thanks for taking the time to post.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whatever. Bye.


Finally some stories that went from fan fiction that started out dangerously close to Mary Sue, definitely Gary Stu, and eventually turned to foefiction.

Force On The Move

Anakin's Folly

Mary Sue Page

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