The faintest of sighs passed her lips as she examined herself in the mirror from head to toe; raven black tresses framed an innocent visage, eyes of a glass green hue glittering like stars, slender legs carried a nicely shaped body, the standard Hogwarts school clothes clinging to her every curve. Ah yes, she was indeed a pretty girl, but so much more than just a pretty face.. Perhaps the Sorting Hat had made some sort of mistake when it placed her in Gryffindor, for she was as cunning as a Slytherin. And yet, it placed her in Gryffindor, House of the famous Harry Potter and friends. Not that she cared, actually - having what she referred to as friends always worked out for her, and her homework.
Once she was certain every bit of her looked possitively stunning, Topanga Trelawney made her way out of the girls' dormitory, into the Common room, and out the hole concealed by the Fat Lady's portrait. Once again she strode through the halls, her head held up high in pride, a nice sway to her hips, and a dazzling smile upon her lips. One could say she was a seductress, but that was only partially true; Topanga never really seduced anyone.. she merely caressed their egos in a way she knew was the best and only way.
Through the halls and corridors she strode, her smile growing more and more wicked as she had passed some male students who whistled after her. "Like the skirt, boys? Took it in, myself.." she breathed, turning around and moving her robes aside to reveal a glimpse of her legs that showed a lot more skin than with the rest of the girls. Winking, she set off again, pushing the doors to the Great Hall open and making her way over to a nice spot at the Gryffindor table.
After seating herself, she waved a faint hello to just about anyone who was willing enough to see it, and to those who didn't want to see it, too. Topanga didn't care if she had no real friends, she didn't want them, anyway. Too many times had she been dumped, too many times had she put up the the evil minds of girls.. Well, now it was time to return the favor and see how they liked it..
The fact her name is Topanga Trelawney automatically makes her a Mary Sue, but she has many more characteristics that would make her one even without the connection to the Hogwarts divinations teacher.
Let's see if it's possible to unmarysue Topanga.
She uttered a shaky sigh as she took a look at herself in the mirror.
-Her black hair was flattened from hathead and slightly disheveled. It hung limply, a few strands dangling in her anxious face.
She was a sight, pale green eyes that looked back at her, seeming to betray her thoughts. Her scrawny legs carried a bony frame, the standard Hogwarts school clothes hanging loosely in places while fitting a little too snuggly in others, making her look as awkward as she felt. She would need a smaller top and larger skirt. For now, she just took off the top, put a shirt underneath it, and struggled to get the top back on to hopefully hide her rather under-nourished but large boned appearance. The skirt, she could do nothing about, it was designed for a younger girl, for there had been some mixup about her age when she enrolled. This skirt barely came down to her knobby knees,
exposing her palid, bony calves. She had to put on thick socks to hide it, but took them off again. She was unable to decide which looked worse, being in a short, too tight skirt with thick yellow socks or the sight of her skinny calves. In the end, she opted for a pair of thin black socks.
-Once she was sure she had managed to conceal as much of her gangliness as possible, Topanga made her way out of the girls' dormitory, into the Common room, and out the hole concealed by the Fat Lady's portrait. Once again she doddled
through the halls,
-her head held up high in an attempt to hide her nervousness, an exaggerated sway to her hips, and a plastic fake smile on her lips.
-I got as far as this, the next part I couldn't un-Mary Sue.
One could say she was a seductress, but that was only partially true;
-Not partially, it's true or it isn't...So yes, being a mary Sue, she would be a seductress...
Topanga never really seduced anyone.. she merely caressed their egos in a way she knew was the best and only way.
-In other words, she was manipulative. Definitely a Mary Sue trait, especially when put together with the seduction of males and hatred of other females. It's impossible to unmarysue that except by taking those elements out altogether. Continuing on:
-Through the halls she meandered, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.
-But it wasn't long before a taller boy came up to her, "You're a new student, haven't seen you around here before."
-"Yes, I'm in Gryffindor,," she replied shyly.
-Someone was heard calling from down the hall, and the boy turned back to answer it. "Yeah!" Facing the new girl again, "Well, see you around then," and he took off to meet his friend.
-There's absolutely no fixing this part, the Mary Sue HP student is always the enemy of the rest of the female gender, always the one feeling like she was the one hard done by...And always with an agenda to top them all in every way she thinks she should.
After seating herself, she waved a faint hello to just about anyone who was willing enough to see it, and to those who didn't want to see it, too. Topanga didn't care if she had no real friends, she didn't want them, anyway. Too many times had she been dumped, too many times had she put up with the evil minds of girls.. Well, now it was time to return the favor and see how they liked it..
Sorry, even with the fixing of the mirror scene,getting rid of the Trelawney connection, and writing a male student as treating her like any other new pupil, there was too much enmity toward other girls and indications of a manipulative, wanna-be seductress to make her anything else but a borderline Mary Sue at the very best.
Back to Harry Potter And The Twilight Hunger Games
Back to Mary Sue page