Title: Worse than Mary Sues

By: Tidia

"There's a girl sitting in the corner over there." JD pointed to the rear of the saloon.

Buck squinted his eyes in the dim light, "Well JD I think you're right. Why don't you go over there and talk to her," Wilmington pushed him toward the table.

JD stepped back, "I don't think so." He moved in closer to Buck. "What if she is one of those Mary Sues?"

Ezra stopped shuffling his cards. ""Then, my youngfriend, if what we heard recently was any indication, she would have burst into flames by now."

"From what those writer girls said about Mary Sue-I don't think she is one," Vin drawled, leaning against the bar.

"Mister Tanner would you like to ascertain who the lady is?" Ezra stood up and fixed his jacket.

"Wouldn't mind finding out," and the two men walked over to the corner table.

"Ah, Miss, if we may inquire?"

The girl pushed her short blonde hair behind her ears. "Yes?"

"Are you a Mary Sue?" Vin blurted out.

The girl dropped her head to the table. They heard a muffled, "worse."

Both men sat down, curious to find out what was worse than a Mary Sue. The girl lifted her hand.

"I think I wrote a Mary Sue story." Both men gasped audibly.

"Are you sure?" Tanner asked, looking around for the other writer girls.

The girl lifted her head. "Well, I didn't mean to if I did. I read something interesting and though-'Hey this is fanfic material!' And so I wrote Song Of Chiara-I killed her off in the end. Is it a Mary Sue if you kill her off? I don't want to ask them." The girl said all this quite rapidly.

"Them?" Standish questioned. He received a quick kick from Vin as a reply.

The girl moved in closer. "Them, you know the really good fic writers."

"Ohhhh. I remember the Song of Chiara." Ezra searched for the right words. "It was different."

"You know it could be worse. I am reading a Harry Potter book that I absolutely love, and you don't see me writing Harry Potter meets the Magnificent Seven." The girl moved her bare arms which stuck slightly to the table. "You know Inez should use some Murphy's Oil Soap. It would really do wonders here."

The two men nodded, having no idea what she was talking about.

She looked them over, "No one ever mentioned you guys were a little slow on the uptake." She shook her head, " maybe I should talk to JD, since he is from the east he may be able to keep up." Under her breath they heard her mumble, "and these two are my favorites?"

"No, we understand alright. Just wonderin do you breathe when you talk?" Vin's question referred to the girl's rapid speech patterns. The question was answered by Ezra kicking him under the table. The girl let her head fall on the table again.

"I think I am driving MOG nuts too. But, it's not me-I mean she wrote this ATF story, it was awesome. Then Laura wrote about you and the plate glass," she pointed at Vin. "Pure genius. Needless to say my muse went hyperactive."

"Muse?" Vin inquired, but before Ezra could kick him he moved his chair.

"Muse-you know-motivation or ideas. I quickly finished a fic that was a challenge cause the first scene was already written and since no one wrote it, I decided to. But now I am writing about Mary in the ATF AU series. I am also pestering MOG to write more ATF stories."

The gambler put his hand through his shiny hair in confusion. "Dare I ask-ATF?"

"Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Don't worry you are still a fashion plate in that series." She patted his hand. "I want you guys to note, I am never too mean to you. The stories I have written have caused you no major owies. I leave that up to them," her eyes darted around the room. "They are the professionals after all."

She gasped.

"What?" The law enforcers both asked.

"I doomed you all. I shouldn't have watched. Everytime I watch a show-pouff-gone. I am so sorry. I forget I have this power." She covered her head with her hands.

The men, sensing now was their time to escape quickly, stood up. "Well, glad we could be of assistance." Vin nodded, and they walked over to their friends at the bar.

"So?" JD asked.

Ezra looked at Vin, "We have no idea."

"Something about, Mary Sue, Harry Potter and the ATF, I think," Vin shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't tell me-another one of those writer gals," Buck said exasperated.

The End-Gosh that was fun!


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