Anna and Jada Cohen, Antonia and Savannah Foraker, Katie and Kalin Relek, Tariq and Fatima Hareez Hafeez, Krista Marie and Baby Natalie,
Debbie Schwartz and her hardluck family story
The Jermaine Beerman version has victimized a real family with lies and getting Curt Beerman's email account suspended. He did not start the hoax, and nothing the chain letter says about his son is true.
Now that is cleared up, let's deal with the fictitious people in other versions of this stupid hoax.
As Fatima's parent can't decide on the family surname as being either Hafeez or Hareez, I'm going to have some fun mixing it up in this mangle.
👳♂️Tariq Hareez: Subject: If u delete this u have no heart!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: The next chain freak to try this on me will have no head!
👱♀️🚶♀️👱♀️🚶♀️Anna Cohen and Antonia Foraker: Dear Friends
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: right, they don't know you and couldn't give you the time of day until they want something, then suddenly they call everybody "friends."
👱♀️👱♀️Anna Cohen: My name is Anna Cohen and I live in Albany New York.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well that's like a couple timezones away from me so there's not much I can do for you.
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: My name is Antonia Foraker from Delight, WV.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: There's no such place as Delight West Virginia.
👳♂️Tariq Hareez: Hello, my name is Tariq Hafeez, and I live in Chicago.
🙍Katie Relek: Hello, my name is Katie Relek, and I live in Alabama.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, everybody's got to live somewhere, except for you fictitious lot…
🙍Katie Relek: Well, this is an important for you to read, because I really need your cooperation.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, important as a fly on a windshield, and you don't need my cooperation, you just want it, and you're not gonna get it.
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: It is so imporant for you to know about what I want to tell you.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I got news for you, getting people to spread hoaxes is not important, it's deceitful.
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Hafreez: Ok, let me start.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Yawn* Can hardly wait...
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: Ok, a couple of days ago,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That could be any time. Today will be a couple days ago a couple of days from now… But taking into consideration your hoax is over a decade old, that's a really long couple of days!
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Hafreez: my
🙍Katie Relek: son, he's 7
👳♂️Tariq Harfeez: daughter, she's 6
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: years old,
🙍Katie Relek: his
👳♂️Tariq Hafreez: her
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: name is
🙍Katie Relek: Kalin.
👳♂️Tariq Hafreez: Fatima.
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: Well,
🙍Katie Relek: he
👳♂️Tariq Hafreez: she
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: was playing on the street, infront of our house,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Playing on the street? Well, that was careless of him/her if you taught him/her better, and stupid of you if you didn't.
👳♂️Tariq Harfeez and 🙍Katie Relek: and then from out of no where, this car came out and crashed into
🙍Katie Relek: him!
👳♂️Tariq Hafreez: her!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Coulda told ya, the street is no place for little kids to be playing in. Don't you people have a yard?
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: I was sooo frightened and angered at the driver, but it ended out to be, that the drivers brakes had been shot, and he wasn't able to stop.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I can understand the frightened part of it, but if you had to get angry, why not at yourself for not teaching your kid the street isn't a playground?
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariqu Hafreez: Luckily, my
🙍Katie Relek: son,
👳♂️Tariq Harfeez: daughter,
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Hafreez: was able to avoid death, but
🙍Katie Relek: he
👳♂️Tariq Harfeez: she
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Hafreez: is in very serious condition.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Usually a hit by a car will do that…
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: Right now, as I speak,
🙍Katie Relek: he's
👳♂️Tariq Hafreez: she's
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: in the hospital, but the thing is,
🙍Katie Relek: he
👳♂️Tariq Hafreez: she
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: has the serious injury to
🙍Katie Relek: himself.
👳♂️Tariq Harfeez: herself.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You already said that…
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Hafreez: It's internal bleeding,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, notice that I never asked you about it?
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: My youngest daughter, Savannah, was diagnosed with a rare blood disease in January of 2000.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, you can't even name it…
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: Savannah, who will turn four on February 29,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah - um, I think she'd be a teenager by now.
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: is a bright, happy young girl who likes watching Sesame Street and playing with her two older sisters.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And you're regaling me with these details because? Oh, right, you want me to picture in my mind this happy little care-free kid who I'm supposed to make my mission in life to help, just because she's such a charming little kid with charming big sisters, great taste in TV shows, and she needs a chance at life etc. etc. blah, blah…
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: Unfortunately, there isn't much doctors can do for her right now.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Understandable considering she's an imaginary kid in a fictitious town, how are any real doctors going to manage to get there?
👱♀️Anna Cohen: My daughter Liz recently had a baby girl named Jada 2 months early. Jada has many problems with her heart and lungs and
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: Our
👱♀️Anna Cohen: many
🚶♀️👱♀️Antonia Foraker and Anna Cohen: medical costs have become extremely expensive.
👱♀️Anna Cohen: Jada was recently moved to a hospital in California and the move was very expensive.
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: and it's bad to say, but we don't have any health insurance, and we don't have enough money to pay for the operation.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: yeah, yeah, same old story. Well, I got the same old answer for you too, I'm not your money tree. I haven't got the money to bail you out, and wouldn't if I had. Because it's all a lie. and there is no email tracker so don't even go there.
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: So I made a deal with a company, BCC inc.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: BCC, um, how can I break this to you, Katie and Tariq? There is no BCC Inc. BCC isn't a company, it stands for "blind carbon copy!" It's a way of hiding the email addresses of people you send email to!
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Hafreez: And they told me,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: something in one of your weird dreams no doubt.
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: Three local companies have promised to give $.05 each for every time this email is forwarded.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wow, like this is way amazing, altogether too much! Just think of it! We got a fictitious family in a nonexistent town, and their youngest kid is 12 going on 4 and she's got some rare blood disease but is still so playful and happy that she got three whole local fictitious companies doling out money just for her care! And all because of that way amazing nonexistent forwarding tracker that runs on chain letters!
*Chortle chortle cough, cough* Not…
👱♀️Anna Cohen: A billionaire in California has promised to give $. 05 for every time this email is forwarded.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well it's obvious this rich dude isn't really interested in helping you if this is his hair-brained scheme. He's as fictitious as you and Liz and Jada are, and would be more reliable if he just gave you a couple of his billions… Nobody gets saved by chain letters and nonexistent trackers.
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: for every person that will foward this email,
👳♂️Tariq Harfeez: they will
🙍Katie Relek: he'll
👳♂️Tariq Hafreez and 🙍Katie Relek: donate
👳♂️Tariq Harfeez: 3
🙍Katie Relek: 5
👳♂️Tariq Hafreez and 🙍Katie Relek: cents To the operation.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so one kid gets more per spam than the other, is that fair? I'll even it up for you by dispelling this lie. There is no BCC inc. company, no email tracker, and no way to save anyone with chain letter forwarding…
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: THIS IS NO JOKE.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Argh! I will cyber-strangle the next chain freak who hands me this bull. To you, it is a joke, but to the rest of us with common sense and consciences, and especially those of us who have been victimized by this hoax, it is anything but a joke. That still doesn't mean this story is real. It only means you get a sick haw-haw out of it and I don't…
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: We attached this type of encoding, that tracked how many times this message was fowarded.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Huge honking lies. You can't blip a fictitious tracker into existence simply by saying it is attached to this chain letter. There is no such encoding… Besides, you can't even spell the word 'forward' so I doubt you'd have the brains to write computer programming code.
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Hafreez: SO PLEASE, FOWARD THIS LETTER
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No…
👱♀️🚶♀️Anna Cohen and Antonia Foraker: If you wouldn't mind forwarding this Antonia Foraker, Anna Cohen, 🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Harfeez: to
👱♀️🚶♀️Anna Cohen and Antonia Foraker: everyone
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Hafreez: EVERY PERSON
👱♀️🚶♀️👳♂️🙍Anna Cohen, , Antonia Foraker Tariq Harfeez, andKatie Relek: on your list.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yes I do mind, which is why I won't forward it anywhere.
👳♂️🙍Tariq Harfeez and Katie Relek: IT WILL BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!!!
👱♀️🚶♀️Anna Cohen and Antonia Foraker: I would greatly appreciate it as well as my daughter
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Written In unison across the years…
👱♀️Anna Cohen: and little Jada.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, right, "little Jada" will thank me from the bottom of her heart when she's way too young to care about anything beyond getting fed and sleeping, right. You're not moving me.
👱♀️Anna Cohen: This
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: Your good deeds
👱♀️🚶♀️Anna Cohen and Antonia Foraker: could
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: really
👱♀️🚶♀️Anna Cohen and Antonia Foraker: save
👱♀️Anna Cohen: a
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: her
👱♀️🚶♀️Anna Cohen and Antonia Foraker: life.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, you lie. It can't. You simply can't save lives with chain letters, dimwits.
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: Please take a few seconds to help us in our time of need.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, no, nobody ever got saved by internet spam.
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: I know how many of these go around
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And you got the brilliant idea to try your hand at it to see if anyone would buy into your hoax too.
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: and I want you to know that they really help,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Your stamp of approval on this pack of lies doesn't make them true. None of these things help anyone but the hoaxers such as yourself to get a sick lulz at our expense.
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: if you would like to contact us, our e-mail address is: email@example.com
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: YOU! You should be ashamed of yourself, victimizing another person by putting their email address into your hoax! The person with that email address never started this hoax, has nothing to do with it, and knew nothing about it according to what TruthOrFiction said.
👱♀️🚶♀️Anna Cohen and Antonia Foraker: Please have a heart and forward this.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah right...You lot of lying hypocrites really need to stop with this "have a heart" bull and apply that right close to home! if you weren't so heartless yourselves, you wouldn't have started sick kid hoaxes.
🚶♀️Antonia Foraker: Forakers Earl, Antonia, Michaela, Amber, and Savannah
👱♀️Anna Cohen: Remember: What goes around comes around.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: you must've gone to the Amy Bruce Coercion101 class. It's not working on me...
No sharing from me. No love from me. No feeling badly for refusing you here.
👱♀️Anna Cohen: Thank you,
🙍👳♂️Katie Relek and Tariq Hafreez: THANK YOU SO MUCH
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You're not welcome.
Krista Marie and Baby Natalie
🙎Krista Marie: Dear: All,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Another dumb mass message…
🙎Krista Marie: Hello, My name is Krista Marie and I have anew born baby named Natalie.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Good for you but why should it matter to me?
🙎Krista Marie: She means the world to me,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Duh, that's how it should be, but again, you're telling me this because?
🙎Krista Marie: and just resently, the doctors have discovered that my little Natalie has Brain Cancer.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, don't turn to me for help, I haven't got a cure for it. Oh, wait, maybe I do. It all depends on what you say next.
🙎Krista Marie: Unfortunatly my husband and I don't have the money to pay for the bill.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, it's not a cure you're after, it's money, well, I don't have any to spare.
🙎Krista Marie: But my husband and I have worked out a deal with AOL and they have agreed to give us 5cents to each person that recived this e-mail.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: It wasn't true for Rachel Arlington Winslet, Bruce Delburg, Debbie Schwartz, and you have not managed to get AOL to make a tracker either.
🙎Krista Marie: So please, forward this to everyone you know, and help out my little Natalie and I.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Since you and your little Natalie are fictitious, I can cure you right now in one sentence.
Once in the year 2002, there was a sad mom with a cancer-ridden baby named Natalie, who was suddenly and miraculously cured. The end.
There, happy now?
🙎Krista Marie: *This is NOT a joke e-mail,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Screaming* !!!ACK! Blast you! To you, it IS a joke, and - I -am - NOT - laughing! It's still a terrible lie no matter how you slice it, so don't pull that joke line with me!
🙎Krista Marie: this is regarding to save a new life.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Lies. You can't save life with hoaxes, and the picture you ripped off some family's gallery is of a little girl who does n't belong to you, nor does she have cancer, and, she was born in 1996, so hardly a "new life" bozo!
🙎Krista Marie: Please dtake this message seriously. Thank you!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: If I didn't take this problem seriously, (sickos starting sick kid hoaxes) I wouldn't be here, tearing these chain letters to pieces, now, would I? DUH!
By the way, you should be ashamed of yourself for stealing a picture of baby Megan Olivia Cron, who was born in 1996, she is not your little Natalie, and what on earth did her family do to you, that you thought it was a cool idea using her picture to pass off as Natalie in your hoax?
😡Debbie Shwartz: Subject: WE ALL THINK OUR LIVES ARE HARD!!!! READ BELOW TO KNOW HOW LUCKY WE REALLY ARE
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Right, because no one in the entire history of the whole human race EVER had a rougher life than poor, poor Debbie Schwartz! *Rolling eyes* Nonexistence sure is tough, init, Debbie?
Debbie Schwartz: ~~IF YOU DELETE THIS YOU ARE HEARTLESS!!~~
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Stabs Debbie schwartz in the eye with a cyber needle* There! Feel my wrath!
😡Debbie Shwartz: Dear Reader
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, another internet session, another hard luck story from someone I don't know and don't want to know!
😡Debbie Shwartz: I am a single mother of four kids: ages five, three and a half, 17 month, and two week old baby girl.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And you're telling me this because? Oh, right, this is just the opener to get me in the position to feel sorry for you and obligated to do what you tell me because you've got so many wonderful little kids I shouldn't let down…
😡Debbie Shwartz: God has blessed me with three beautiful, healthy children.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Argh! Don't bring God into this!
And I thought you said you had 4 kids - oh wait, there's the rub, one of them is the hard luck kid I'm supposed to feel sorrier for than all the rest put together…
Debbie Schwartz: Until
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: There's only one 'l in that word.
😡Debbie Shwartz: recently things were going great for us, even though we struggled financially at times (my part-time job was not enough to support us).
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well Debbie, that hardly makes you unique but for your large family. Don't you have family who help out, or some agency you can go to, what's your, rem, guy situation? You mentioned the kids but no husband or even a boyfriend, yet, at least one had to have been in the picture at some point.
😡Debbie Shwartz: Then, the tragedy struck on January 13th.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Since this chain started back in 2003, January 13, 2003 is ancient history by now, Debbie, and your kids are all almost a decade older than they were then.
😡Debbie Shwartz: My oldest, Matt, got hit by a car while playing outside. (The driver never got fined - it was a hit and run). After agonizingly long weeks of hospitalization, we did not think he would live but thank godness is he alive right now ... but barely. He is still in the hospital in the comatose condition. Doctors say he will be a vegetable for the rest of his live, for as long as he lives and even if he does come out of the coma - his brain is too damaged for him to lead a normal life. My insurance coverage run out and I can't afford hospital bills. Right now I own a hospital over 500,000 dollars so far.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, I'm not buying this.
😡Debbie Shwartz: Shortly, after the accident has happened, my 87 year old grandmother, with whom I was really close (she raised me as a child), suffered a stroke and could not live on her own anymore. I took her in.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: One kid in a coma, a grandma you have to take care of, wow Debbie, you really got the sad sack thing going on.
😡Debbie Shwartz: All that happened while I was pregnant with Carissa.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Like wow Debbie, on top of everything else, you got preggers, could it possibly get any worse? With you, of course it could.
😡Debbie Shwartz: Because of all this severe stress that I've been through, Carissa was not only a premie but was born with Down's syndrome as well as chronic colitis.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Codswallop, Debbie… Down's Syndrome is not caused by a stressful pregnancy. I don't buy that colitis tale either, a quick look on Google brought up results concerning babies born to women who have colitis, but nothing about babies themselves having colitis…
😡Debbie Shwartz: She is also missing fingernails on her right hand. She is in the hospital as well because she needs to be monitored 24/7.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Very short or very small fingernails can be just one indicator of Down's syndrome, but not missing altogether on just one hand.
😡Debbie Shwartz: Right now I am at the lowest point of my life:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So cry a whole dang ocean about it…
Debbie Schwartz: I don't have a job -
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, um, with all the lying you do, well, let's say you're not exactly trustworthy.
Debbie Schwartz: taking care of three sick family members that are so dear to me is a full time job -
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Aw c'mon, can't be all that bad since they are as fictitious as you are…
Debbie Schwartz: I can't afford to pay for my tiny appartment,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: "Waaaaah, waaaaaaah, boooo-hoooooo-hooooo!" Okay, how is it that you have, what, two kids and a mother living with you in a tiny apartment? Where do they all sleep?
Debbie Schwartz: my car got taken away because no payment, not to mention the debt with a hospital!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Next you'll probably try telling me that you have to feed your family dog or cat food just to survive, and you can't afford the laundromat, bus fare, etc. etc. etc. Well, the pet food thing is completely bogus since pet food costs at least as much as real food. Everything else you have to say is a load too.
😡Debbie Shwartz: I know you are not obligated to do anything: you are free to delete this email without giving it a second thought,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, really milk it, Debbie, do the extreme passive-aggressive guilt-trip thing, that'll get all the suckers bowing and scraping for you,
well, not me, lady, not me.
😡Debbie Shwartz: but please listen to the cry from mothers heart!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ah yes, the heart-rending cries of a mother's heart, who in the world could possibly call you for what you really are, a con job?
Mother's heart my foot. You're a fake.
😡Debbie Shwartz: We had worked out a deal with AOL where for every 12 forwards I will get 15 cents.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: It wasn't true for Rachel Arlington or Krista Marie and it's not true for you either. Big stinking hoax. There's no such thing as an aol forward tracker.
😡Debbie Shwartz: Please, don't harden your heart, send this email to everyone on your list.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Since you're own heart is hard enough to come up with this over-the-top sob-story hoax, you're in no position to judge me as heart-hardened for refusing to spread your lies. I will not send this garbage hoax and please you by needlessly upsetting other good-hearted people.
😡Debbie Shwartz: This is crucial for our survival!!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Exactly. You are fictitious, and the only way you can live on is via this stupid chain letter being passed around, so I'll help you to die and throttle your meme instead.
😡Debbie Shwartz: God bless you all!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowling* Don't you dare use God's name in the commission of this lie, you blaspheming, twisted, ARGH! I really detest you!
😡Debbie Shwartz: Sincerely,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, I'm sure you sincerely hope everybody weeps over your stupid hoax and is sad enough to share share share!
Not happening here. Take a hike!
Over and out!
Gallery Of Sick Kid Hoaxes
Meme Kids 101
Forward-or-die threat memes