Oh, how I dislike this chain letter and others like it!
They aim at Christians, and unfortunately, Christians get reeled in to the bait like trout, and the result is they forward forward forward, re-share re-share, repost repost, and then it ends up bantered about on poor excuses of message boards *cough* Snopes, *cough, cough* where anti-God people just have a ginormous poke-fun-of-God&Christians lulz-fest! (Lulz is a corruption of the acronym 'lol' but it means laughter at the expense of others).
As usual, I don't fit into either camp. I am a Christian, but I have no love for these memes. But I definitely don't fit in on message boards where people just use the existence and replication of these chain letters as another excuse to hate on us Christians again!
—— Original Message -----
🆔From: a habitual forwarder!
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What? I'm not the only one who got this - oh, but it's chain mail, not a personally written note. I feel so incredibly special now! Right...
⛓📨Subject: I Picked You
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I know - you picked me among a whole bunch of other people to receive your junkmail!
A year later, I got it again, from a different person who didn't know the first sender. This time it piggybacked a saccharin sweet glurge about angels.
🆔From: a forwarder
To: a list of people
Subject: FW: Read This
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh yay...
In early March, 2012, this infernal meme was spotted still kicking around, posted on Yahoo answers, this time with a different glurge called "Lunch with God" Argh! Time to clobber the new mutation. The lunch story comes first, then the rest of the meme.
Aaaaaaagh!
It cropped up *again* in April of 2015, directly into my inbox from somebody who got it from another friend - ugh! *Facepalm*
Only this time it was an old man instead of an old lady the little boy met in the story. 2012 version I saw was about a chips eating old lady, 2015 was about a chips eating old man.
😼Meme2: Take 60 seconds to read this story.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Argh! I'm sick of you chain letters and your "60 seconds" thing! It's a minute, so say it that way. It's only a minute. And I'm pretty sure you don't want anybody like me taking any longer than that, because you don't want this thing dissected and mangled! Well, that's exactly what's going to happen! *Fuming*
😼Meme2: It will give you time to settle your brain, gather your thoughts, calm down,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Know what this does every time I see it get reposted/re-shared, re-sent anywhere? It makes me go from calm to *headdesk* argh!
No, this meme does not "settle the brain" what a corny thing to say anyway. The fact you even want to muddle with anyone's brains to turn them to re-sharing putty irritates the living daylights out of me! And that's exactly what this is. Well, it's not working on me! "Gather your thoughts" That's the last thing you really want, you would much rather use the power of suggestion to get us Christians all softened up so we'll share this dreck thinking it's some kind of inspirational Godly message, when in fact, it is chain letter spam.
My thoughts are gathered, for ripping this meme a new one, and I will probably not feel calm for a while, not until the disappointment and irritation settles.
😼Meme2: and continue your week on a positive note.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Aaaaaaagh! Why do people instantly switch their brains off or into neutral as soon as a meme mentions something like "BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY!" or "positivity" anything? Because this sure isn't doing it for me. And the 2015 mutation blew into my inbox like a bat out of Hades in midweek, smashing itself on that point.
😼Meme2: Lunch With God
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, it's not lunch at all, and God doesn't spam.
😼Meme2: Potato Chips
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Same old chips boy old lady thought they had lunch with God story again! *Facepalm, scowl* Aaaaaaaaaaagh!
😏Meme1: Have you ever had lunch with God?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: God watches over me all the time and I do give a prayer of thanks before my meals, so if that counts, yes… But this does not justify making up chain letters to mock the practice...
😏Meme1: read on..........................?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, it's necessary to read it to trounce it…
😏😼Memes: A little boy wanted to meet God.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, and how could anybody possibly resist the sickly cute sweetness and innocence of a contrived chain letter kid? *Rolling eyes* There are lots of little boys and little girls, and adults for that matter, who want to meet god in more than just the sense of "I know he's there looking out for me." You haven't exactly said anything earth-shattering and I doubt you will. I just hope this doesn't turn out to be yet another version of the story where somebody shuns various people and by doing so, they pushed God aside unwittingly. Or a story where somebody ends up in tears, or dies. I'm betting it will be one of those, since it is a chain letter glurge after all.
😏😼Memes: He knew it was a long trip to where God lived,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *rolling eyes* Oh, brother, here we go with the cliche kid who thinks he can pack and somehow walk or bike his way up to Heaven to get closer to God, argh!
😏😼Memes: so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: How totally stirring to hear this little nameless boy likes chips and root beer… *flat expression*
😏😼Memes: When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old
😏Meme1: woman.
😼Meme2: man.
😏Meme1: She
😼Meme2: He
😏😼Memes: was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bleh. So these two old birds were sitting staring at some other old birds in a park. How edge-of-the-seat. Not. I'd rather be sitting out in my yard taming some chickadees and squirrels than staring at pigeons in a park or having to add another mutation edit to this drubbing. But, there's no telling when some stinky forward will be inflicted upon anyone again.
😏😼Memes: The boy sat down next to
😏Meme1: her
😼Meme2:him
😏😼Memes: and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old
😏Meme1: lady
😼Meme2: man
😏😼Memes: looked hungry, so he offered her some chips.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so basically this elementary junior worship kiddy story is all about this little boy was actually feeding God his chips by feeding the old woman and man.. Blah blah blah blah blah blah, heard this old stuff many, many times before! Why is it that people suddenly get so enamoured with this stuff when it shows up in stupid memes!?
More to the point, look, this is supposed to be a little kid, right? How in the world does he get so completely in tune to the conditions of everyone else around him that he can tell if some old stranger looks hungry? what did this old ladyman do anyway, drool?
😏Meme1: She
😼Meme2: He
😏😼Memes: gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh! Plot-drag.
😏Meme1: Her
😼Meme2: His
😏😼Memes: smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bleh. Nice to know they all love chips and rootbeer. Blahblahblah.
😏😼Memes: Again,
😏Meme1: she
😼Meme2: he
😏😼Memes: smiled at him. The boy was delighted!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And the plot, what little there is, grinds to a crunching, sloshing halt. I get it, I get it I get it. He's all happy joy, she's all happy joy, and he's all happy joy, because they're all caring and sharing and "having lunch with god"! *Facepalm* I want my cyber-money back!
😏😼Memes: They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, that's the part that is like REALLY weird. How can they even know what the other wants without some kind of communication? I mean, you don't just go up to a stranger in a park, no matter how cute little old pigeon-admiring lady man she he is and just hand her him a bag of chips and a can of soda pop without saying something to her him, indicating you want her him to share it. She He is not likely to just reach out and grab it, assuming you are sharing it just because you put it down beside her him - unless she he is a bit too overbearing and presumptuous. And doesn't this little boy know not to talk to strangers also means don't just go around giving them handouts? For all he knew, she he could've been not so beautiful and ended up snatching him. Just saying…
And this whole not talking for hours reminds me of that horrible Angel In A Pink Dress/Gown chain letter where this sap, we are never told their gender, goes up to some not-so-helpless little girl in a park and just hangs with her until she sees fit to reveal that she's an angel and the poor sap has been selfish all his/her life, and the whole thing just boils down to "Hey, if you look different, your life sucks!" thing.
😏😼Memes: As twilight approached,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wait, what!? You're telling me this kid hung out at the park all afternoon and evening, sitting and feasting on chips and pop with this old ladyman until twilight!? Where were his parents in all this? You'd think they'd get kinda worried, not? Yeah, and why didn't this old ladyman get a bit concerned at this strange kid hanging around so long? She he is definitely not acting normal either. Guess those chips and soda were particularly addictive… Probably due to them being laced with a big dose of Chainbrain.
😏😼Memes: the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old
😏Meme1: woman,
😼Meme2: man,
😏😼Memes: and gave
😏Meme1: her
😼Meme2: him
😏😼Memes: a hug.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Twitch cringe* Okay, this kid is - weirding me out. They didn't say a single thing all this time, just sat there stuffing face and grinning at each other like idiots, and now he suddenly gets this overpowering urge to give her him a hug? They don't even know each other! And no, don't give me this bit about "But he was really doing all this unto God" The story doesn't make sense. It reads like it was hurriedly contrived and thrown together by some chain originator who was too anxious to pack a huge emotional wallop and stick it to believers in God, big time!
😏Meme1: She
😼Meme2: He
😏😼Memes: gave him
😏Meme1: her
😼Meme2: him
😏😼Memes: biggest smile ever..
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So all she he can do is smile big and fill her his face…. Got it…
😏😼Memes: When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for goodness sakes. Little kids come running into the house overjoyed/excited about stuff often. It's not an uncommon occurrence, at all!
More to the point, you're trying to tell me this mother is so loopy that her kid wanders off for hours and to her it's just like nothing? Not even close to real. And don't give me this "She had faith" because even parents who have faith, panic when their kids pull a sudden day-outing without asking if it's okay and without keeping in touch with the parents during their time away on their own…
And not that I want to hear this little kid's explanation, but you're going to tell me anyway, and it'll be worth several eye-rolls…
😏😼Memes: He replied, "I had lunch with God."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Aaaaaaaaaaagh! *Facepalm* Somebody please just knock me out. This droll drip is making me psychotic!
😏😼Memes: But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? She's He's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes uncontrollably* BLECK! This was even lamer than I thought it would be.
😏😼Memes: Meanwhile, the old
😏Meme1: woman,
😼Meme2: man,
😏😼Memes: also radiant with joy, returned to
😏Meme1: her
😼Meme2: his
😏😼Memes: home.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, now you're gonna give me the rundown on her his incredible experience through her his eyes. The question now is, does she he think she he's god now, or does she think the little boy was God? Nevermind, spare me, I really don't wanna know.
😏Meme1: Her
😼Meme2: His
😏😼Memes: son was stunned by the look of peace on
😏Meme1: her
😼Meme2: his face
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* He shouldn't be. Seriously, peace should be pretty much the norm. If you mean bliss, even that's not stunning or shocking. Stunned by a look on his parent's face, sorry, but that's just pathetic…
😏😼Memes: and he asked,
😏Meme1: "Mother,
😼Meme2: "Father,
😏😼Memes: what did you do today that made you so happy?"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Urgh. This reminds me of those rotten soap operas and a majorly convoluted story I got dragged into working on with someone, where different characters in different locations said the exact same thing at the exact same time. Yuck!
😏Meme1: She
😼Meme2: He
😏😼Memes: replied! "I ate potato chips in the park with God."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Tsks in annoyance* I knew it... *Facepalm* Aaaaaaargh!
😏😼Memes: However, before
😏Meme1: her
😼Meme2: his
😏😼Memes: son responded,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: She he quickly added something lame…
😏Meme1: she
😼Meme2: he
😏😼Memes: added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes, still unamused* Ya know, God is ageless and timeless. So he's not going to look young or old, and won't come in the form of a potato chip-eating little boy in a park, nor does he show up in memes. This is not God, this is the Hamgod, or should I say, Chipgod… You could be sending little kids a pretty messed up message with this story, "the moral/theme of this thing is, go up to old ladies and feed them chips, and they will believe you are god!" Not cool!
😏😼Memes: Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yadda yadda yadda, I get it I get it! and too often we overestimate the value of chain letters, thinking they are a touch, a smile and what our listening ears need. Wrong.
😏😼Memes: all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, yeah, but this wasn't lives being turned around, it was a day at a park where two or was it three? strangers said nothing and just chowed down chips…
😏😼Memes: People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime! Embrace all equally!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Blah blah blah, heard that before too… Like in that National Friendship Week chain hoax… Eleanor Roosevelt still didn't say it.
😏😼Memes: Have lunch with God.......
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I already told you - oh, skip it!
😏😼Memes: bring chips. Send this to people who have touched your life in a special way.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No! I won't spam everybody I care about, or anybody else, even strangers, with your rotten chain letter potato chips.
😼Meme2: Send this to people who have touched your life in a special way.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: NO! *Scowl* I do not repay people who have touched my life in a special way by sending them spammy memes!
😏😼Memes: Let them know how important they are. I did!!!!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Actually you did just the opposite with this chain letter! And I let people know they are important to me by sending them personally written notes! Just think of that! What a concept!
😏😼Memes: God still sits on the throne.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I will be near the throne by the end of this, on my knees, head down once the screaming and hair-tearing gives way to a serious upset stomach. Why in the heck do Christians always, ALWAYS get sucked into this stuff and believe that God works through memes, which is the tool of liars, spammers, and head-gamers? Why are they too busy, hesitant or lazy to send personal messages, but they send every fluffy/religious/cutesy meme to hit their screen? Why don't they realize this junk is as impersonal as an advertisement or high-pitch sale tactic?
😏Meme1: Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times right now,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Maybe so, in which case, this lousy pseudo-religious chain came into my inbox at the worst possible time. Would it have killed you to send me a personally written note to show me you really care and are thinking about me and maybe ask me how I am and actually listen when I tell you about my hard time? Oh, but I'm only an email in your address book for sending chain mail to, don't give me a second's worth of any real thought!
😏Meme1: but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Maybe, but this chain is not it, that's for dang sure! It's not a blessing, it's a curse of the internet.
😏Meme1: Keep the faith.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Give me a reason to - or were you talking about God and not faith in online "friends"? I would've appreciated this advice if it had honestly come from you and not been passed on to you, and by you and by thousands of others who got duped into thinking this was a real special and sweet email.
😏Meme1: My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: How tacky! God doesn't make anybody pick a number of people to bless. God blesses people and not via chain letter forwards, so, no, you have not made me feel blessed. If the chain had "instructed" you to forward it to a zillion people and then jump off a bridge, would you have done that, too? Why in blue blazes can people say "no" to their friends and family when asked or instructed by them to do something, but they just can't say "no" and refuse to follow an "instruction" in a chain letter?
😏Meme1: Please pass this to at least(4) people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Please, I'm not going to spam four people with this piece of badly written, canned phony religion.
😏Meme1: I know I picked more than four, so can you.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So you can count...Whoop-dee-doo. Now if you could only learn to send real messages you write and stop sending chain letters!
😏Meme1: THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Then you're sad. There are millions of types of prayers, so there are millions of different answers!
😏Meme1: 1. 'Yes!'
2. 'Not yet.'
3. 'I have something better in mind.'
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's not God answering prayer, that's a meme trying to look witty, cute, and credible.
Let's just leave it at God may or may not answer your prayers the way you like...Moving on.
😏Meme1: This prayer is powerful,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong, in your case and that of so many other schmucks, the urge to share every stinking meme is powerful, not this so-called prayer. And prayer needs to be done personally and on one's own time, I'm not a bot, and won't pass on a chain letter that disguises itself as a prayer. One of the basics of the Christian faith is not to be deceitful, so, think about that and stop sending forwards to me or anyone else!
😏Meme1: and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, like in the Phoney ST. Theresa Prayer hoax and the Simple Kevin glurge memes, right...
I've had to make this correction before, but it obviously bears repeating. Prayer isn't a gift, prayer is the request for gifts. The gifts come as a result of prayer, and prayer does not rely on viral stupidity to work!
I'm not a new Christian, I've been one all my life, so I don't appreciate getting preached at, especially by well-meaning, but unthinking and gullible people that can't even be bothered to send personally written notes. And, no, a form letter during the holidays telling me all about people in your life I never heard of, the same form letter you sent to all others on your junk recipiant list doesn't count as a personal note!
😏Meme1: There is no cost but a lot of rewards.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Argh! Again with the Phoney ST. Theresa Prayer Chain Hoax and the Simple Kevin chain!
Sorry, but there is a cost for sending this junk - it's known as the loss of friendship. I'm still awaiting my reward in the form of real notes from friends and no more memes being spread by Christians all over the net!
😏Meme1: Let's continue to pray for one another.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah sure. First you have to actually write to me, and then maybe we can actually have a conversation, and then you're welcome to pray for me if you like. Until then, stuff it.
😏Meme1: The prayer:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, brother!
😏😼Memes: Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I pray you will give them the strength not to pass it on. I also pray for everyone lucky enough not to have received this dreck. I pray they will not receive it and feel as worthless as I do to people who have so thoughtlessly shared it.
😏😼Memes: Show them a new revelation of Your love and power.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Please show them that sending chain forwards is not the way to keep friends and is not the way to salvation!
😏😼Memes: Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families,finances, their goings and their comings. In Jesus' precious name. Amen.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And where there are sickly sweet chain letters, the strength and intelligence not to pass them on, and where there is disappointment and pain from receiving viral forwards of any kind, mercy, understanding, and a lot more consideration. Please grant people the ability to show mercy to their friends by not sending any more memes. Amen.
😏Meme1: (If the Lord lays upon your heart to send this to more than four "4" people , you are truly blessed.)
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Argh!! Remember where I said we shouldn't be deceitful. Because this is a blatant, blasphemous lie and a terrible mockery of religion. This is exactly why so many people think Christians are absolute idiots, because they're notorious for passing on this kind of crap! God is not laying upon your heart to send this to four or more people. The meme is worded in such a way to make you think it comes from God! The only thing being laid upon you is a con job to get you spreading this nonsense! Stop it! Just - stop!
Over and out!
Comment options: