by: William Shakespeare
TRANSLATION
https://www.sparknotes.com/nofear/shakespeare/shrew
https://www.sparknotes.com/nofear/shakespeare/shrew/page_28/
MODERN TEXT
Act 5
Scene 1
BIONDELLO, LUCENTIO AND BIANCA ENTER. GREMIO IS ALREADY ONSTAGE.
BIONDELLO
Quickly and quietly, sir. The priest is already there.
LUCENTIO
We’re off, Biondello. But they may need you at home, so you go on back.
LUCENTIO AND BIANCA EXIT.
BIONDELLO
I’ll see them safely married first and then hurry back to my master’s.
HE EXITS.
GREMIO
I wonder why Cambio hasn’t shown up in all this time.
PETRUCHIO, KATHERINE, VINCENTIO AND GRUMIO ENTER, WITH ATTENDANTS.
PETRUCHIO
Here is the door, sir. This is Lucentio’s house. My father-in-law lives closer to the marketplace. That’s where I’m going now, so I’ll leave you here.
VINCENTIO
You must not go without having a drink first. I think I may presume to welcome you, and they’re probably preparing some kind of feast to welcome me.
HE KNOCKS.
GREMIO
They’re pretty busy in there. You’d better knock louder.
THE MERCHANT LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW.
MERCHANT
(as VINCENTIO) Who’s that breaking down the door?
VINCENTIO
Is Signior Lucentio at home, sir?
MERCHANT
(as VINCENTIO) Yes, he’s at home, but he can’t be disturbed.
VINCENTIO
What if a fellow were bringing him a couple of hundred pounds to toss around?
MERCHANT
(as VINCENTIO) Keep your hundreds. He won’t need them as long as I’m living.
PETRUCHIO
(to VINCENTIO) I told you your son was popular in Padua. Hear that, sir? (to MERCHANT) Games aside, though, would you be good enough to tell Signior Lucentio that his father has arrived from Pisa and stands at the door waiting to speak with him?
MERCHANT
(as VINCENTIO) You lie. His father is already in Padua. In fact, he’s standing right here looking out the window.
VINCENTIO
You’re his father?
MERCHANT
(as VINCENTIO) Yes, sir—according to his mother, if I can believe her.
PETRUCHIO
(to VINCENTIO) What? Why this is out and out robbery! To appropriate another man’s name.
MERCHANT
(as VINCENTIO) Arrest the wretch. I think he means to bamboozle someone in this city while pretending to be me.
BIONDELLO ENTERS.
BIONDELLO
(to himself) Well, I’ve seen them married. Good luck to them! Uh-oh. What’s this? It’s my master’s father, Vincentio! Now we’re in trouble. Everything’s ruined.
VINCENTIO
(to BIONDELLO) Come here, you scoundrel.
BIONDELLO
I believe I have some choice in the matter, sir.
VINCENTIO
Come here, you wretch! What, have you forgotten me?
BIONDELLO
Forgotten you! No, sir. I could not forget you, since I never saw you before in my life.
VINCENTIO
Despicable brute! Never seen your master’s father, Vincentio?
BIONDELLO
My honorable, reverend master? Yes, of course. There he is at the window.
VINCENTIO
Is that so?
HE BEATS BIONDELLO.
BIONDELLO
Help, help, help! This madman will murder me.
HE EXITS.
MERCHANT
(as VINCENTIO) Help, son! Help, Signior Baptista!
HE EXITS FROM ABOVE.
PETRUCHIO
What do you think, Kate, shall we hang back and see how this conflict finishes?
THEY DRAW BACK.
THE MERCHANT ENTERS BELOW WITH TRANIO AS LUCENTIO, BAPTISTA AND SERVANTS.
TRANIO
(as LUCENTIO) How dare you beat my servant, sir?
VINCENTIO
How dare I? How dare you, sir? Oh, cruel gods! Oh, clever villain! A silk doublet, velvet hose, a scarlet cloak, and a high-brimmed hat! Oh, I am destroyed, I am destroyed! While I sat counting my pennies at home, my son and my servant have squandered all my money at the university.
TRANIO
(as LUCENTIO) Heavens, what’s the matter?
BAPTISTA
What, is the man crazy?
TRANIO
(as LUCENTIO) Sir, you seem from your clothes to be a sober, respectable old gentleman, but your words show you to be a madman. What do you care if I wear pearls and gold? Thanks to my father, I can afford to.
VINCENTIO
Your father! Why, you scoundrel! Your father is a sailmaker in Bergamo.
BAPTISTA
You’re wrong, sir, very wrong. Why, what do you imagine his name to be?
VINCENTIO
His name! As if I wouldn’t know his name, I who brought him up ever since he was three years old. His name is Tranio.
MERCHANT
(as VINCENTIO) Get rid of this mad fool! This is Lucentio, my only son and heir to all my lands.
VINCENTIO
Lucentio! Oh God, he’s murdered his master! Restrain him! I charge you in the Duke’s name. Oh, my son, my son! Tell me, you monster, where is my son Lucentio?
TRANIO
(as LUCENTIO) Call forth an officer.
AN OFFICER ENTERS.
Take this mad wretch to jail.—Father-in-law Baptista, will you see that he’s available to appear in court?
VINCENTIO
Take me off to jail?
GREMIO
Wait, officer. He mustn’t go to prison.
BAPTISTA
Be quiet, Signior Gremio. I say he shall go to prison.
GREMIO
Be careful, Signior Baptista, lest you be made the dupe in this business. I could swear this is the real Vincentio.
MERCHANT
(as VINCENTIO) Can you swear to it?
GREMIO
Well, no, not literally.
TRANIO
(as LUCENTIO) Then you’d better say that I’m not Lucentio.
GREMIO
No, I know that you’re Signior Lucentio.
BAPTISTA
Away with the doddering fool! Take him off to jail!
VINCENTIO
Is this how strangers are treated here? You harass and abuse them?—This is unbelievable!
BIONDELLO ENTERS WITH LUCENTIO AND BIANCA.
BIONDELLO
We’re ruined! There he is! Renounce him! Deny you know him or we’re sunk.
BIONDELLO, TRANIO AND MERCHANT EXIT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.
LUCENTIO, AND BIANCA KNEEL.
LUCENTIO
Pardon, dear father.
VINCENTIO
Dear son, you’re alive!
BIANCA
Pardon us, dear father.
BAPTISTA
Why? What have you done? Where is Lucentio?
LUCENTIO
Here is Lucentio, true son to the true Vincentio. I have made your daughter mine by marriage while false impressions blinded your eyes.
GREMIO
Quite the conspiracy! We’ve all been duped.
VINCENTIO
Where is that damned wretch, Tranio, who defied me in such a disgraceful manner?
BAPTISTA
Say, isn’t this the Latin master Cambio?
BIANCA
Cambio is transformed into Lucentio.
LUCENTIO
It was love that performed these miracles. Bianca’s love made me trade places with Tranio while he masqueraded as me around town. And now, finally, I’ve arrived happily at the blissful haven where I longed to be. What Tranio did, he did at my command. So pardon him, dear father, for my sake.
VINCENTIO
No, I’ll slit the nose of the villain who would have sent me to jail.
BAPTISTA
But sir, have you married my daughter without my consent?
VINCENTIO
Don’t worry, Baptista, you’ll be perfectly satisfied. You’ll see. Now I’m going inside to see that someone pays for this mischief.
HE EXITS.
BAPTISTA
Me too—to see how far the mischief went.
HE EXITS.
LUCENTIO
Don’t worry, Bianca. Your father won’t be angry.
LUCENTIO AND BIANCA EXIT.
GREMIO
So much for my hopes! Well, I’ll go in and join the others. All I can hope for now is a share of the feast.
HE EXITS.
KATHERINE
Let’s follow them to see how this turns out.
PETRUCHIO
First kiss me, Kate, and then we will.
KATHERINE
What, here in the middle of the street?
PETRUCHIO
Why not? Are you ashamed of me?
KATHERINE
Certainly not! But I’m ashamed to kiss, sir.
PETRUCHIO
All right then, back home we go. (to GRUMIO) Come, fellow, let’s be off.
KATHERINE
No, wait. I will kiss you. (kisses him) Now please, love, stay.
PETRUCHIO
Isn’t this good? Come, my sweet Kate. Better late than never—and it’s never too late to change.
THEY EXIT.
Act 5
Scene 2
BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, THE MERCHANT, LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHERINE, HORTENSIO, WIDOW, TRANIO, BIONDELLO, AND GRUMIO ENTER, WITH THE SERVANTS BRINGING IN A BANQUET. EVERYONE STANDS AS LUCENTIO PROPOSES A TOAST.
LUCENTIO
Finally, at long last, we’ve reconciled our differences. Now is the time—when war is safely over—to laugh at past dangers and adventures. My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome, while I with equal affection welcome yours. Brother Petruchio, sister Katherina, and you, Hortensio, with your loving widow, you’ll find no better entertainment anywhere. All of you are welcome in my house. This last course here is for closing up the stomach after great feasting. Now everyone be seated, as this is the part where we sit and chat as well as eat.
PETRUCHIO
All we do is sit and sit and eat and eat.
BAPTISTA
Yes, Padua is famous for this pleasant life, Petruchio, my son.
PETRUCHIO
Padua contains nothing that isn’t pleasant.
HORTENSIO
I wish that were true for both our sakes!
PETRUCHIO
Well what do you know! Hortensio fears his widow.
WIDOW
Me afraid of him? I don’t think so.
PETRUCHIO
That’s very sensible, but you missed my sense: I meant Hortensio is afraid of you.
WIDOW
He who is dizzy thinks the world is spinning.
PETRUCHIO
A very candid reply.
KATHERINE
What’s that supposed to mean?
WIDOW
That’s what I conceive of him.
PETRUCHIO
Conceives by me? How does that sit with you, Hortensio?
HORTENSIO
My widow means that her remark expressed the way she understood him.
PETRUCHIO
Nice save! Kiss him for that, good widow.
KATHERINE
“He who is dizzy thinks the world is spinning”—please, tell me what you meant by that.
WIDOW
Your husband, being saddled with a shrew, projects his own suffering onto my husband. And now you know my meaning.
KATHERINE
A very nasty meaning.
WIDOW
My meaning is nasty, for it’s you I mean.
KATHERINE
And I am nasty when it comes to you.
PETRUCHIO
You tell her, Kate!
HORTENSIO
You tell her, widow!
PETRUCHIO
I’ll bet you a hundred marks, my Kate puts her flat on her back.
HORTENSIO
Well, that’s really my job.
PETRUCHIO
Well said! Here’s to you!
HE DRINKS TO HORTENSIO
BAPTISTA
What do you think of these quick-witted folks, Gremio?
GREMIO
They certainly do like to butt heads!
BIANCA
A clever person would say their butting heads had horns on them.
VINCENTIO
Ah, our bride has woken up!
BIANCA
Yes, but not out of fear. I’ll go back to sleep now.
PETRUCHIO
No, you shall not. Since you chimed in, let’s see if we can trade a caustic joke or two.
BIANCA
Am I the bird you’re going to shoot at now? I’ll move my bush, so you’ll have to aim at a moving target. Thank you all for coming.
BIANCA, KATHERINE AND WIDOW EXIT.
PETRUCHIO
Well, she got away. Signior Tranio, you also took aim at that bird, though you didn’t hit her.—So here’s a health to all who’ve shot and missed.
TRANIO
Oh well, sir, I was really just like a greyhound that Lucentio let off the leash: I did the running, but the catch was his.
PETRUCHIO
A witty if a cynical reply.
TRANIO
It’s good you hunted for yourself, sir. It’s rumored that your deer holds you at bay.
BAPTISTA
Oh-ho, Petruchio! Tranio got you that time.
LUCENTIO
I thank you for that quip, good Tranio.
HORTENSIO
Fess up, fess up, didn’t that one strike home?
PETRUCHIO
He’s made me a little sore, I’ll admit. But since the gibe glanced off me, ten to one it hit you both straight on.
BAPTISTA
Seriously, though, son Petruchio, I think you have the most thoroughgoing shrew of us all.
PETRUCHIO
Well, I disagree. But why not put it to the test? Let’s each one send for his wife. Whichever’s is most obedient and comes most readily shall win the bet that we’ll propose.
HORTENSIO
Agreed. What’s the bet?
LUCENTIO
Twenty crowns.
PETRUCHIO
Twenty crowns? That’s a bet I’d make on my hawk or my hound. I’d wager twenty times as much on my wife.
LUCENTIO
A hundred then.
HORTENSIO
Agreed.
PETRUCHIO
Good! It’s a bet.
HORTENSIO
Who should begin?
LUCENTIO
I will. Biondello, go and tell your mistress to come to me.
BIONDELLO
Here I go.
HE EXITS.
BAPTISTA
Son, I’ll stake you half that Bianca comes.
LUCENTIO
I’ll have no halves. I’ll shoulder the whole bet
BIONDELLO ENTERS.
Well, what happened
BIONDELLO
Sir, my mistress sends you word that she is busy and cannot come.
PETRUCHIO
What! “She’s busy and cannot come!” Is that an answer?
GREMIO
Yes, and a nice one at that. Pray God your wife doesn’t send you a worse one.
PETRUCHIO
I’m hoping for better.
HORTENSIO
You there, Biondello, go and request that my wife come to me straight away.
BIONDELLO EXITS.
PETRUCHIO
Oh-ho, he requests! Why, then she’ll have to come.
HORTENSIO
I rather think, sir, that yours will not grant a request in any case.
BIONDELLO ENTERS.
So, where’s my wife?
BIONDELLO
She says she thinks this is a prank. She will not come. She says that you should come to her.
PETRUCHIO
Worse and worse! She will not come! It’s vile, intolerable, not to be endured!—You there, Grumio, go to your mistress. Say that I command her to come to me.
GRUMIO EXITS.
HORTENSIO
I can guess her answer.
PETRUCHIO
What?
HORTENSIO
She will not.
PETRUCHIO
The worse for me, no doubt about it.
KATHERINE ENTERS.
BAPTISTA
By all that’s holy, here comes Katherina!
KATHERINE
You sent for me, sir? Is there something you’d like me to do for you?
PETRUCHIO
Where are your sister and Hortensio’s wife?
KATHERINE
They sit chatting by the parlor fire.
PETRUCHIO
Go bring them here. If they refuse to come, get physical—use a whip if you have to, but get them out here to their husbands. Go on, I said. Bring them here straight away.
KATHERINE EXITS.
LUCENTIO
This is a miracle, if you talk of miracles.
HORTENSIO
It is. I wonder what it means.
PETRUCHIO
I’ll tell you what it means. It means peace and love and a quiet life, supremacy based on reverence and profound respect, and—not to go on and on about it—everything that’s sweet and happy.
BAPTISTA
May good fortune come to you, good Petruchio! You’ve won the wager, and I will add twenty thousand crowns to what they owe you. Another dowry for another wife, for, truly, she is so transformed she’s like a completely new woman.
PETRUCHIO
Wait, I will win the wager more spectacularly, going even further to demonstrate her obedience, her newly created virtue and obedience.
KATHERINE ENTERS WITH BIANCA AND WIDOW.
Look, here she comes, with your ungovernable wives in tow, like prisoners of her womanly persuasion.—Katherine, that cap of yours doesn’t look good on you. Take it off and throw it on the ground.
WIDOW
Lord, may I never see a day of trouble until the day I let someone treat me like that.
BIANCA
For shame! What kind of loyalty is this?
LUCENTIO
I wish your loyalty were as foolish. The wisdom of your loyalty, fair Bianca, has cost me a hundred crowns since dinner.
BIANCA
The more fool you for betting on my loyalty.
PETRUCHIO
Katherine, I’d like you to lecture these headstrong women on the nature of the loyalty they owe their lords and husbands.
WIDOW
You must be joking. There will be no lecture.
PETRUCHIO
Do it, I say. You can begin with her.
WIDOW
She shall not.
PETRUCHIO
I say she shall.—And first begin with her.
KATHERINE
Girls, girls! Wipe those frowns off your faces and stop rolling your eyes. This disrespectful stance toward the man who is your lord, your king, your governor tarnishes your beauty the way the frosts of winter blights the land. It mars your reputations as whirlwinds shake fair buds. And in no sense is it fitting or attractive. An angry woman is like an agitated fountain—muddy, unpleasant, lacking in beauty. And in this condition, no one—however dry or thirsty he may be—will stoop to sip or touch one drop of it. Your husband is your lord, your life, your keeper, your head, your sovereign, one who cares for you and who, for your ease and comfort, commits his body to harsh labor both on land and sea. Long, stormy nights at seas he stays awake, by day he endures cold while you lie safe and warm, secure in your beds at home. And in exchange he seeks no more from you but love, kind looks, and true obedience—too little payment for so great a debt. A woman owes her husband the same loyalty a subject owes his king. And when she is peevish and perverse, sullen, sour, and disobedient to his honest wishes, what is she but a loathsome, warlike rebel and an ungrateful traitor to her loving lord? I am ashamed that women are so foolish as to declare war when they should plead on their knees for peace, that they seek authority, supremacy, and power when they are under an obligation to serve, love, and obey. Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth, unfit for toil and trouble in the world, if not so that our soft qualities and our hearts should agree with our external parts? Come, come, you weak, ungovernable worms!
My spirit has been as proud as each of yours, my courage as great, and my reason perhaps even better suited to bandy words back and forth and exchange frown for frown. But now I see our weapons are like straws, our strength like a straw’s weakness, and our weakness past comparison, so that we seem to be the thing we most are not. Humble your pride, then, since it’s useless, and place your hand beneath your husband’s foot. As a gesture of my loyalty, my hand is ready if he cares to use it. May it bring him comfort.
PETRUCHIO
There, that’s my girl! Come on and kiss me, Kate.
LUCENTIO
Congratulations, old pal, you’ve won the bet.
VINCENTIO
It’s nice to see children playing well together.
LUCENTIO
But not so nice when women misbehave.
PETRUCHIO
Come, Kate, let’s go to bed. We three are married, but you two are defeated. (to LUCENTIO) I was the one who won the wager, though you hit the white. And as the winner here I say good night.
PETRUCHIO AND KATHERINE EXIT.
HORTENSIO
Well, congratulations. You’ve tamed a terrible shrew.
LUCENTIO
It’s amazing, if I may say so, that she let herself be tamed.
THEY ALL EXIT.
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