Zippy The Elf

Ocean Elf: Okay. Considering who the main character is in this, other than Zippy, I'm handing this one off to someone else from A Gift For Santa, who also helped out against Laughing Jack.

Take it away, Ameh!

Ameh: Thanks, Ocean. *Skims through the notes, eyes grow wide with recognition as she figures out who Ocean was referring to, the writer of the notes.* Oh! Wow! So you're James, it's great to see you have been recovered along with your mom, from the Laughing Jack ordeal. You were five then, and now you have a five-year-old brother. The weird thing is bad entities seem to have a thing about five-year-olds in your household.

And since this story was posted in 2013, there are some time teleportation stuff that some nogoodnicks have been messing around with too. Oh well, it will all come out in the wash. Let's smash another pasta elf. Edits for language...

Ocean Elf: *Pleased grin* Zippy's all yours, Ameh. I've got another two that are due for a thrashing.

Ameh: *Snicker* Lucky them. *Shudders momentarily thinking of the terrifying trouble that can result when Ocean Elf gets mad, but watches her swagger off.* Okay, everyone, I'm the fairy, Ameh Chase, and I've been assigned to revisit James. It seems he's got some elf trouble. Let's find out more about it.

* * *

James: Have you ever heard of Elf on the Shelf?

Ameh: The first I heard of it was on Amazon..

James: It was a children's book released in 2005 that follows an elf who reports to Santa on who's been naughty or nice.

Ameh: Cool idea. But Santa didn't plan on the elves being naughty, did he? Heh, am I getting ahead of you here?

James: Later on they made it into t.v. movie and now it's a really popular game with kids around Christmas time.

Ameh: Cool.

James: I'll never forget that elf.

Ameh: Understandable. They're kind of hard to forget. They can be anything from cute to cool to very determined and impassioned, all depending on who's dealing with them. I know a few elves who are among the best friends anyone could ever have. But considering this one is such a stalker (whoops, really giving stuff away here, eh?) I can see why he's hard to forget. He sort of went out of his way to be an up close and personal reminder.

James: The one that terrorized me only a few weeks ago.

Ameh: 2013 was a few years ago, so unless this elf has started bugging you again...?

James: I consider it a miracle I'm still here today to tell you about it.

Ameh: So, this elf is going to be headed for trouble by the sound of it.

James: It all started the day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday. I had just gotten home with my family: mom, dad and my five year old brother Carson. We had been shopping all morning. You know, waiting in line trying to get the good deals, that whole thing.

Ameh: Yeah, generally it's a good idea to shop online instead.

James: When we arrived home, I was the first one to open the door and that's when I saw it.

Ameh: Why didn't you see it there before, surely you would've left via the same door, right?

James: There, on the coffee table in our living room was a bright, shiny red elf just staring at me.

Ameh: Not the color I would've chosen. But - it is good information. I'll keep an eye out for this elf.

James: I froze. That wasn't there when we left?

Ameh: Oh, right, you're not scaring me.

James: How did it get there?

Ameh: Let's help unravel this little mystery a bit, shall we? Here goes.

Just because you were the first in the door, doesn't mean you were the last one out the door when you left for the mall. which means someone else may well have put this elf on the table after you were already out of sight. Definitely doable with at least two other people in the house.

James: I was pushed through the rest of the door by my brother who saw the elf but with a much happier reaction. He ran to grab it when my mother came through the door and yelled "CARSON STOP!" My brother froze and looked back at her in confusion, I did as well.

Ameh: Okay, see, she already knew it was there before. Meaning she or your dad or someone else had this planned.

James: My mother hurried over to the elf and said "Now both of you sit and listen very carefully."

Ameh: She's acting as if this is more important than it actually is.

James: I was still confused as hex. What was she up to?

Ameh: Yeah, so let's find out.

James: Still not knowing, I complied and sat next to my brother on the carpet facing my mom.

Ameh: *Sigh* So please, get on with it.

James: "Now this here is a very special elf, one who must not be disrespected."

Ameh: Yeah, no. If this elf does something worthy of disrespect, disrespect is exactly what s/he will get... And after reading the Bethany story, I definitely don't feel particularly kind toward elves that monumentally screw up.

James: She then bent over and picked up a book sitting next to the elf, opened the front cover and began to read. "This is an Elf on the Shelf. He is a special scout elf who zips back and forth to the North Pole every night and reports to Santa on whether or not the children he is looking after have been naughty or nice." She went on. "Once a family has adopted an elf, they must give it a name for it to receive its Christmas magic."

Ameh: Interesting idea for a little kid's book. But just get him a PDA and he can send any messages he needs to about the family on his own. Well, magic should take care of that, shouldn't it?

The name thing is very interesting too. It can work in reverse. That's what happened when NT got the idea to exterminate Salt with salt pellets.

James: Christmas magic? What a bunch of bull. I was twelve years old at the time and was well past my days of believing that Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny were real.

Ameh: Yes. Exactly. Which is why you didn't need to be there. But I suppose the whole idea was to humour your little brother. I couldn't resist putting these bunny vids in. :)

James: I certainly now wasn't going to believe some stupid elf was going to come alive with Christmas magic.

Ameh: Hehe! *Bemused grin* I really should introduce you to Ocean Elf. Well, if I can't manage to deal with your elf problem, she will.

James: "Each morning, the elf returns to his adopted family and is in a different place within the house" she continued.

Ameh: Why a different place in the house? This 'magic' seems pretty limited.

James: "Sounds fun huh!?"

Ameh: Sure, for a five-year-old.

James: I was way too old for this crap, I mean seriously, who would believe this bullcrap.

Ameh: I can see why you would feel this way. After all, there was Laughing Jack. Your mom might be overcompensating with Carson because she was the opposite when you believed in Laughing Jack and she did not.

James: I then looked at my brother who was rocking back and forth, cackling and clapping his hands with joy.

Ameh: That's to be expected from a five-year-old.

James: My mother went on "Now there are only two simple rules that all of the children must follow with an elf in the house.

Ameh: Actually, Sally Williams could tell you what happens when you misbehave and upset an elf.

James: (quoting his mom continued) First is that the elf can NEVER be touched. If an elf is touched it might lose its Christmas magic, thus it won't be able to fly back to the North Pole anymore. Second, an elf cannot speak or move in any way while anyone in the house is awake. Remember, an elf's job is to watch and listen."

Ameh: 1. Elves don't fly. 2. Looks like elf On The Shelf was given a really bad deal. 3. This wasn't adoption, it was house arrest. That kind of experience would make any elf go mad. 4. I really can't see Santa encouraging let alone arranging this kind of thing.

James: I seriously could not believe what I had just listened to. "You expect me to believe this crap?" I objected.

Ameh: No kidding.

James: "James!" she yelled at me.

Ameh: This isn't going to go well.

James: I was still looking at her with the same look a child might give when told that he had to share his toys with his brother, which I hated. "This is stupid, I'm too old for this." I said again, this time trying harder to get my point across. My mom walked into the kitchen and yelled behind her "James, come in here now!"

Ameh: Oh, crap. You are both going in the opposite directions again, and it is not going to end well unless someone can get in there before it's too late.

James: I followed her and when I arrived she grabbed my arm, bent over and looked me square in the eye. "Now you listen to me, you will not spoil this for your brother. If you don't want to participate, fine but you better not say anything else about it not being real to Carson or so help me god I will make sure Santa does not give you any presents this year.!"

Ameh: *Frown* Seriously, Mother Of James And Carson, just because you thought you mucked up with James at that age, doesn't mean you should go the other way now.

James: I thought my mom was being completely ridiculous but she had generally frightened me. She always had a habit of doing that sometimes. I swear she liked Carson more than me.

Ameh: *Sigh* I wish I could help you two get things together emotionally. She does love you. I'm sure of that. She's just overprotective, and again, in the wrong way.

James: Anyway, I agreed and it was settled, I ignored the elf and let my brother bask in his ignorance.

Ameh: He'd grow out of it in time. And hopefully without a horrible ordeal like the one you went through.

James: After our "discussion" we went back into the living room. My mom asked my brother "So Carson, what shall we name our elf?" As quickly as my mom asked her question, my brother blurted out "Zippy!" "Cause he zips to da North Pole every night and talks to Santa and says if we been naughty or nice."

Ameh: *Wince*

James: "What a great name, don't you agree James?" said my mom.

Ameh: Ugh. *SMH* No. Not so much.

James: "Now you have given it its Christmas magic!"

Ameh: No. He's only been given a name, and not a very good one either. Well, it's a good effort for a five-year-old, that's really all I can say.

James: My brother clapped his hands again "Yay! Zipp-py Zipp-py Zip Zip Zipppppp-ppy!"

Ameh: Ugh.

James: And so that was it, the thing that would come to terrorize me and haunt me still to this day in my sleep had a name. Zippy.

Ameh: I'm sorry about your nightmares, James. It's clear that while Zippy couldn't do anything when you were awake, he got up to a heck of a lot of badness while you slept.

James: A few days went by without incident. Every morning I awoke to the laughter and yelling of my younger brother as he ran through the house looking for that demn elf.

Ameh: I'm sure.

James: Each morning, he would be in a different place just as the book said. But I knew it was my mother moving it about every night.

Ameh: A reasonable conclusion.

James: One morning, he was in kitchen with one arm in the cookie jar and another morning he was in Carson's room bent over in his toy chest with his legs sticking out.

Ameh: Caught with his hand in the cookie jar, then diving in to the kid's toy box. Not cool, Zippy, not cool.

James: I still thought the idea was nonsense but I stuck to the promise I made to my mother. Yes, I guess everything was fine with Zippy.

Ameh: No, not really.

James: That is until that first night when my nightmares started.

Ameh: Oh dear. Laughing Jack all over again. *Scowl*

James: It was late and I was downstairs by myself watching t.v. I started to hear a faint whisper coming from the other room. I brushed it off the first couple times but by the third time I pressed mute on the remote and listened intently. I couldn't make out what it was but it defiantly sounded like a whisper. I decided to get up and have a look. I walked across the living room and into our dining room where I heard the whisper coming from. I fumbled for the light and when I switched it on I about crapped myself.

Ameh: Lemme guess. Zippy.

James: There standing on the dining room table was Zippy. His rosy red checks and bright, piercing blue eyes that were looking directly at me.

Ameh: I think you meant 'cheeks' unless you meant he was wearing a red checked suit. But the cheeks descriptor pairs better with the eyes. So, Zippy has red cheeks and blue eyes. I also have blue eyes.

James: That thing creped the hex out of me.

Ameh: 'creeped' and when you watch late night TV, it isn't always easy being brave.

James: I figured my mom must have moved it there earlier that night. I shrugged it off, turned around and just before I killed the light I heard a small thud. It hadn't startled me that much and I turned around to see that Zippy had fallen off of the table and was now lying face first on the floor.

Ameh: Klutz.

James: I thought to myself "how the hex did that happen?" "I hadn't touched him or the table." "He was standing though so maybe his feet gave out from under him" I thought .I put it aside me, went over to the table and bent over to pick him up. Just before I grabbed him I remembered what my mom said about the first rule. "Zippy can NEVER be touched." I'm not sure how long I stood there, bent over thinking about that. "This is just stupid" I thought, "I don't believe in this demn game anyway." I got my senses together and grabbed the elf.

Ameh: All reasonable, James.

James: As soon as I touched him, BANG! The light bulb above my head blew out and I almost dropped him. Standing there in the darkness I suddenly felt very cold, the air around me had become freezing and unnatural. The t.v. from the other room was still on and barely illuminated the dining room. With the faint light from the other room cascading on the elf, I flipped him over and looked at his face. I stood there a moment in shock. I swear to god that his face had changed. Everything looked the same except for his mouth. Zippy now appeared to be wearing a smirk but not just any smirk. I can't quite explain it but it looked evil. The kind of smirk a murderer wears when his is getting pure enjoyment from killing one of his victims.

Ameh: *Scowl* I know that smirk. It's just like with these killers:

Mark The Furby

Jessica The Impaler

Laughing Jack

Jeff The Killer

James: By that time it was late and I thought maybe my imagination had gotten the better of me.

Ameh: Again, perfectly reasonable.

James: Before I left I remembered I was still holding Zippy. "Crap" I thought. I did not want to disobey my mother so I carefully put Zippy back in the position he was standing in on the table and left the room. I went back to the living room, turned off the t.v. I turned on the hall light and proceeded towards the stairs. In order to get to my stairs you had to pass by the dining room. I started to walk by, not wanting to look at that thing but for some reason I felt compelled to. Just before the stairs I turned and saw Zippy. This time the hall light was shining on the part of the table were Zippy was and there was no mistake. That flaring thing was smirking at me with his blue eyes still piercing into my soul.

Ameh: Well, the lighting, your frame of mind, and that Zippy probably always wore a smirk that you might not have noticed until this point. But you did not say that his position had moved, so that's something.

James: I hurried upstairs quickly, cut the light and went to my room. I got in bed and pulled the covers tightly over my head. I don't know why but I didn't sleep well that night.

Ameh: Because you were spooked...

James: I knew that Zippy wasn't real and all of this was complete nonsense yet for some reason it still bothered me. I could not mistake what I saw that night. Still to this day I see that demned smirk in my nightmares.

Ameh: Things don't have to be real to be that scary. There are movies I can't watch, even though I know it's all acting, there are scenes I can't stand to look at.

James: I came downstairs the next morning, barely getting a wink of sleep. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I peeked around the corner into the dining room. There he was. Just as I left him with his face back to normal.

Ameh: That's common, too. Things that seemed one way during a night fright, end up completely harmless and non-threatening in the light of day.

James: My mom called me in for breakfast and as I ate I ran through all of the events that happened the previous night. "Could I really have just imagined everything that went on?" Impossible I can't forget that smirk I saw on that little twits face. It must have been real. Still doubting myself, I decided to keep what I saw to myself.

Ameh" Smart move, James.

James: My brother seemed to receive more and more enjoyment from Zippy each passing day while I relented him and his stupid games. I hated everything about him. The way that my mother had continued to play with my sense of reality was not at all comforting either. Yet Carson just seemed to go right along with it.

Ameh: *Sigh* I really wanted your relationship to improve after your narrow escape from Laughing Jack, and the second chance for the both of you.

James: Then came the flaring notes. I guess my mother decided it would be a good idea if Zippy started to leave me and my brother notes around the house. Just dumb messages really telling us to be good and that whole thing. The first one I saw was written out in M&M's and said ‘Be Good" with Zippy sitting down next to my mother's creation, admiring it as did Carson in amazement.

Ameh. M&ms. Mmmmmmm-nomnomnom.

James: The next I found was "You better not pout" spelled in magnet letters on our refrigerator.

Ameh: *Rolling eyes* Gah. Annoying! And a pretty stupid excuse of a game.

James:This went on for about a week until something changed.

Ameh: Uh-oh.

James: I'm not sure what kind of sick game my mother was up to but the messages started to get very unsettling and downright creepy.

Ameh: That's because Zippy actually took over with the messages.

James: I came downstairs one day and again saw that Zippy had spelled out another note in M&M's.

Ameh: The message could spell out "I hate you" and it would still taste good in M&Ms. Nomnomnom.

James: I breezed over it at first but on my second glance, I noticed something eerie. The message again began with "Be Good" but it was followed by the words "or else".

Ameh: *Rolling eyes, unimpressed groan*

James: I figured my mom was trying to relay that message to me this time.

Ameh: I don't think so, James. A message like that would be more effective on a younger child.

James: And I must say it really ticked me off.

Ameh: It would me too. Blackmail is never good.

James: I mean it's dumb enough I have to go along with this but to now have the notes directed at me, saying stuff like "Be Good or Else?"

Ameh: I still don't think your mom directed these notes at you. Either she meant them for Carson, or it was Zippy being sore at you for taking away what limited supposed Christmas magic he had, giving him the excuse to be what he actually is, a smirking turd.

James: "What the hex was her problem?"

Ameh: I think you're getting it wrong about her, James. It's not her, it's Zippy. And, there is this. The notes didn't specifically spell out your name.

James: You can imagine my frustration with this.

Ameh: Yes, I can. But as your name wasn't actually mentioned in those notes, I still think it's either of my two theories.

James: Later that night I called her out on it and her answer was simply… puzzling. I asked her why she made that message for me. She gave me a funny look and replied. "James, please. I don't know what you're talking about. I made a message like that a week ago and haven't used M&M's sense."

Ameh: Then it is Zippy who's at fault.

James: I didn't believe her at first but it was something in the way she said it that just seemed so convincing.

Ameh: I'd take her word for it if I was you. She loves you, James.

James: "Whatever" I thought. Just got to make to Christmas and then this dumb crap will be over with.

Ameh: Yes.

James: The next morning my parents brought Carson to the doctors and I was home alone.

Ameh: Carson is sick? Normally I'd think nothing of it, early winter, late fall, that's when people tend to catch things. Only, there is Zippy, with his threats, toward you and Carson.

James: When I got up, I went downstairs and into the kitchen. I went to get a glass of milk, ignoring the letters on the door. I got my milk and when I shut the door I looked at the fridge and dropped it. Milk splattered all over the kitchen floor while I was still staring at the fridge in sheer horror. The magnetized letters spelled out "You better watch out."

Ameh: *Sigh* James, you are losing your grip. Don't you remember that phrase and the one about pouting are both in that song? You know the one, don't you? Think about it. There's nothing freaky about what Zippy did there. Only that he doesn't have an original idea in his head.

James: At that point I wondered whether or not my mother was aware of the fear she was causing me. I still thought she had made this along with the other disturbing message but it was unlike her.

Ameh: I keep telling you it isn't her!

James: I thought again to myself "there's no way that flaring elf could be doing this to me." I mean, that's not possible.

Ameh: It isn't your mom. It isn't Carson. You haven't said a thing about your dad, but I doubt he would be doing this. So it is Zippy.

James: I couldn't sleep that night. I just lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Ameh: All over a stupid note containing a quote from a song heard every Christmas.

James: I was beginning to become very paranoid, not wanting to know what was coming next. "What other warning I might receive. Was I going crazy?" It was a question I pondered for a while lying there. But then I knew.

Ameh: *Sigh* Knew what?

James: It was about three in the morning. I was just falling asleep when I heard a sound from the hallway.

Ameh: Lemme guess. Zippy playing stupid games again.

James: I ignored it at first but it came again and again and was really starting to scare me. I got up and slowly creaked open my door. I looked down the dark hallway and not a sound could be heard. I then noticed a thin, sliver of light protruding beneath the bathroom door down the hall. I figured it was nothing but I saw shadows moving from the other side. I took a deep breath and walked down the hall on my tippy-toes. I noticed that the door was slightly ajar with the light still on. No one was in there, yet I felt compelled to look inside. I could feel a very cold chill coming from the room. I opened the door and turned my head to face the mirror. I still vividly see the image in my head.

Ameh: I would've said someone was just going to the bathroom, but not with the door left partly open, and you just said no one was in there. So... Zippy again.

James: There, written in smeared toothpaste on the mirror read "You better not cry, I'll show you why."

Ameh: Hey! Yo! Ziptard! You can't even get the lyrics right either! Like Laughing Jack, you bungled. It's not "I'll show you why" it's "I'm telling you why" So knock it off already!

James: I was frozen in horror, unable to move.

Ameh: At least the fact this made a mess of the mirror and wasted toothpaste should convince you at last that this is not your mom's doing.

James: I then looked to my left and saw Zippy in the doorway, just watching me.

Ameh: I'm not surprised.

James: Quickly, I tried to run past him but the rug from beneath my feet slipped out from under me. I tumbled backwards and fell hard on the ground. I let out a shriek of pain as I clinched my leg. I turned it over and looked. A pair of scissors were sticking halfway out of my thigh. The pain was excruciating. I didn't know how it happened at the time but I'm certain now that Zippy had placed them there.

Ameh: *Scowl* That Zippy is gonna be one sorry...!

James: My mom and dad came rushing into the bathroom, having been woken up from my blood shivering screams.

Ameh: Blood curdling, not blood shivering.

James: My dad got the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet after noticing the scissors driven into my leg. I looked up and saw that the mirror displayed nothing but smeared toothpaste. The message was gone and Zippy was nowhere to be found.

Ameh: *Scowl intensifying* Zippy is reminding me more and more of Laughing Jack, and making me angrier by the second.

James: I was rushed to the ER were they removed the scissors and gave me a tetanus shot.

Ameh: That is good.

James: My parents asked me what happened. I told them that it was Zippy and they didn't believe me. My mom became very upset with me saying that I had broken the promise I made to her.

Ameh: *Frown* Will you two ever get on the same page? *Sigh* She's probably more upset thinking that you actually believe in this thing, rather than it being a mere successful tool to keep Carson in line.

James: The next night I was lying in bed unable to fall asleep. For one, my leg still hurt like hex and two I was watching my door, making sure that Hamgoddemn elf wouldn't get to me. I then knew I wasn't crazy. That flaring elf was trying to kill me. I eventually passed out several hours later from exhaustion.

Ameh: Yes, Zippy is all wrong.

James: When I woke, it was still early morning. No one else was awake yet and I didn't find a need to get out of bed. It was still pretty dark in my room.

Ameh: Which is normal for that time of year.

James: I shifted my gaze towards my desk and that's when I saw him.

Ameh: *Glares* Lemme guess. Zippy again.

James: Zippy was standing on my desk, looking at me with those hollow blue eyes and wearing that undeniable smirk.

Ameh: Zippy really needs to scram.

James: I couldn't breathe when I saw him and about crapped myself when I saw he was holding a note.

Ameh: *Rolling eyes* Let me guess. Another mangled lyric from that song.

James: I was still paralyzed by fear but somehow my body was able to crawl out of bed and walk over to the desk.

Ameh: Why not just huck something at him instead: That's what I would've done.

James: This time it was different. The note was handwritten. I looked and I knew that it was neither of my parent's handwriting.

Ameh: I keep telling you and telling you it isn't them...! *Sigh*

James: I held my breath, took the note out of his hand and began to read.

Ameh: *Rolling eyes* Here goes another one of Zippy's masterpieces. *Groans in displeasure*

James: "You have been very naughty. You cried when I said not too. Santa doesn't like that."

Ameh: Yo! Hey! You! Hey, you! Ziptard! You deliberately hurt this kid! What did you expect him to do, laugh? You stupid freak! I'll tell you what Santa doesn't like - naughty, sadistic, lying, manipulative bullies! That's what you are! Forget what that song says about crying. Not all crying is equal. The crying the song refers to is unnecessary whining and throwing tantrums, not crying from real sadness or from being hurt! Moron! Idiot!

James: I couldn't take it anymore. I took the note with me, walked down the hall and kicked my parent's door open. My mom awoke suddenly and I showed her the note. She became very upset and the color had drained from her face. After about a minute I said. "Mom, Zippy is not what you think he is. He's trying to kill me!" I pleaded with her for a while yet she still didn't believe me. She did however become very concerned with my mental state.

Ameh: And you and she are right back to where you started when Laughing Jack was ruining your lives.

James: Later that day she scheduled an appointment with me to talk to a psychiatrist. It didn't go very well. She said that I was starved for attention and that I was making up these stories about Zippy as a way of "reaching out" for a reaction. I argued with her but to no use. After all was said and done, the psychiatrist suggested to my mother that it would be for the best to get rid of Zippy.

Ameh: Well, bad conclusions made about you, but the suggestion of what to do about the situation is the best thing yet.

James: I don't know how she did it but my mother agreed. Later that day she disposed of Zippy and had to tell a sob story to Carson.

Ameh: If she hadn't started with the stupid idea in the first place, there would be no need of messy explanations and excuse-making later.

James: My mother said "Carson, you have been such a good boy that Zippy doesn't need to watch you anymore. His job here is done and he needs to go and watch other kids to make sure they will be good as well." My brother was upset but seemed to understand.

Ameh: Good. Cool. Hopefully that's the end of Zippy. But I wouldn't count on it.

James: Everything returned to normal the next week. Zippy was gone, I was out of school for the holiday and I finally started to get into the Christmas spirit. I though now I can really enjoy Christmas and my life will be back to normal. That's what I thought anyway. Until Christmas Eve.

Ameh: Oh, crap!

James: It was night and I was tired and anxious for morning to come. Carson and I had just put out milk and cookies for Santa (not that I still believed in him but it was fun none the less). At bed time I fell asleep rather quickly thinking about my gifts and wondering if I would get everything I wanted. I awoke in the middle of the night to a noise.

Ameh: Oh, not again! Aaaaaaagh!

James: I lay there, silent trying to listen. It sounded like a whisper coming from outside my door. I shivered. It was the same whisper I first heard with Zippy. I had nearly forgotten about him sense my mother got rid of him. I got up and peeked out my door. I heard that the whispering was coming from downstairs. I then became very curious. After all it was Christmas Eve and in the middle of the night I hear whispering coming from downstairs. I thought "it couldn't possibly be Santa? Could it?" I felt silly thinking such a thing. However it wouldn't hurt to check. A mistake I still regret.

Ameh: *Sigh* Oh, brother.

James: I slowly descended the stairs, anxious as to what I might find. I looked into the living room and couldn't see anything. I walked around to the table and looked where we had placed the milk and cookies. They were both partially gone. My mom must have done this after I went up to bed. Everything seemed normal until I noticed a piece of paper under the plate which held the cookies.

Ameh: Another blasted stupid note! *Throws hands in air* Argh!

James: "That's funny" I thought. "I hadn't noticed that there before". I went over to the table and picked up the note. I turned it over and began to read.

Ameh: Grrrrr!

James: Dear James,

Ameh: *Scowling* Shove off, Zippy!

James: "You didn't think I had forgotten about you? How could I forget about my favorite child? You see James, you thought you had gotten rid of me. Your mom simply threw me out with the trash. I can't go out that easily. You see I've been watching you ever sense you first saw me on the coffee table, sense you saw me crack that first smirk at you. All those messages no one else claims to have seen, they were all made by me. It was me James, the one who watches your every move. I know what you're thinking. But your parents won't help you. No, they won't be able to reach you in time. For you see I'm in your house now, watching you panic while sweat runs down your neck. There's no escape from me. How does the old tune go? You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why… I'm why James. I'm why

See you soon

Sincerely your pal,


Ameh: *Mocking clap* Bravo, bravo, bravo, Zippy, you *finally* got the dang lyric right!

Touching as your little confession is, the threat just before you quoted the lyric, sort of makes it rather worthless.

Your job, Zippy, was not to play favourites. You were supposed to keep a tally on both kids and their actions, good or bad. That was it. You loused up, badly! And you continue to louse up. You may have an elf's determination, but you put it to ill use! You deserved to get tossed out with the trash, Zippy, because you *ARE* trash!

James: My body shut down. I couldn't breathe. I gasped for breath but it couldn't reach my lungs. My legs felt like jelly. I was shaking uncontrollably. I dropped the note and darted out of the living room. I sprinted up the stairs and right at the top step I saw a toy train that I knew belonged to Carson. I couldn't stop myself in time. I tripped over the train and tumbled backwards, crashing down the stairs. I lay at the bottom, throbbing in pain and about to lose consciousness. But right before I blacked out, I looked up the flight of steps. Behind the top post I noticed the faint outline of Zippy with a wide smirk on his face.

Ameh: Aaaaaargh! *Glares at Zippy*

James: I woke up the next morning in the hospital. The doctors said I had broken my right arm, one of my ribs and a leg. My family surrounded me and comforted me. We didn't make it to the part about how I fell down the stairs. Frankly, they were just happy I was still in one piece. After our brief chat, I said I would like some rest. My family agreed and left me be. This is where I tell this story to you now.

Ameh: Zippy will answer for his actions. But I'm glad things are better between you and your family. It was what I always wanted for you.

James: A knock on the door. The nurse comes in holding a gift wrapped package and a card. "Here James" says the nurse. "Someone left this for you in the waiting room." She placed the package and note on my bedside. I asked "Who was it from?" the nurse replied "I'm not sure, just that I was told to make sure you had gotten it." She then turned around and left, leaving me alone with my gift. "A present maybe?" I said out loud. I looked at the card. It was pretty bare and just said the words "Merry Christmas." I opened it and began to read

Ameh: Either Zippy sent you this, or is actually inside the package. I'm sure he is behind the note.

James: Dear James,

I thought you might need some company while you're in here. You better watch out because I'm always watching you.

Ameh: Zippy, you are one pathetic, clingy, desperate, obsessive dude. You will not be with James forever. I will personally make sure of that! Because, Zippy, you are not the only one who can watch and lurk.........

And here's another song that has a really creepy lyric at the end of the second verse. When I heard it, I thought of you.

Never Tear Us Apart - InXS


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