And Dear Old Granny

Though it could qualify as a creepy pasta, it is on a site without this label except for a ping-back among the comments.

However, let's see if there might be another elf for Ocean here, to smash an icicle over... Yes, I will be commenting throughout.

* * *

Site description: UNSETTLING STORIESOriginal scary stories, disturbing horror stories, and stories to make your skin crawl.


Date posted: October 11, 2016

Story: Grandma would always warn me that the elf on the shelf was watching to make sure I wasn't bad. Growing up, even when it was nowhere near Christmas, the elf would observe me. The elf would judge me.

Ocean Elf: What a rotten life, for you both. For you because you're under constant blackmail, and the elf, who is under house-arrest with all those horrid shelf rules to follow. I thought it was bad enough when the shelf duty started at the beginning of December. But year round? Oy.

Story: With my brother and cousins around all the time, it wasn't easy to be good. But I tried. I tried really hard. When I'd make a mistake and be mean to one of them, I felt the elf staring at me. It would remember that moment. I'd picture it waiting until I was in bed, then running and tattling to Santa. No matter how much I screamed and sobbed to it, the elf wouldn't answer. It would just watch and wait for me to do something bad again. It knew me too well.

Ocean Elf: Wait, you only felt it staring at you, not actually see it staring? And why on earth didn't the other kids get the same treatment from your grandma. Ugh, that's no way to run a family, Granny...

Story: On the fourth of July, I burned Marisa with a sparkler. I didn't do it on purpose. I mean, I meant to burn Marisa, but I didn't want to hurt her. I just wanted to see what would happen. Unfortunately, she got hurt pretty bad. Grandma had to take her to the hospital, but not before she got out the belt and whipped me until I couldn't sit down.

Ocean Elf: *Appalled expression, gaping* What...The...Heck...!? O...M...G...! Okay, some granny should never have had kids in her custody! And you, kid, - you make me cringe. You've learned from your granny how to be cruel. Ugh! *scowl* What a nightmare of a household!

Story: After Marisa's mom came over to give me a beating of her own,

Ocean Elf: *Tears hair* Aaaaaaaaaaagh! - THE FREAKING HECK!

Story: I was left watching Neil, my little brother. Grandma was still at the hospital. Neil watched TV while I tried to walk off the pain from the beatings. Before Dad died, that's what he'd tell me to do. "Walk it off, you little faggot."

Ocean Elf: Ugh! So your now dead daddy was a troll. Your granny is a witch. This family is worse than anything I could think to send a naughty elf into.

Story: I walked a lot.

Ocean Elf: But that's not what you need. It wouldn't stop any more beatings in the future.

Story: When I got to the living room, the elf was watching me. It knew. Its wooden mouth was open, almost like it was screaming accusations.

Ocean Elf: Wooden mouth? Open wooden mouth? I would've thought it was plastic. But as to the expression, I suppose if Zippy can smirk, why not this one have its mouth open?

Story: "You're a bad kid."

Ocean Elf: You're a bad elf!

Story: "No one likes you."

Ocean Elf: No one needs you.

Story: "Santa thinks you're terrible."

Ocean Elf: Santa knows you're terrible.

Story: "You'll be a bad man when you grow up."

Ocean Elf: You'll be in deep if I get my hands on you.

Story: It didn't actually speak, of course, but it was obvious that's what it meant. It was the same stuff Grandma said to me, day in, day out. And somehow, I always made sure to live up to it. Try as I might, I couldn't be good. At the age of eight, I was already certain I was rotten to the core.

Ocean Elf: Wait, that was only your poor programmed thoughts, not actually the elf. Kid, I'm sorry your life has been such hell. *Sigh* Your granny and dead dad are the bad ones. And it looks like they've done all they could to make you into a victim and monster all in one. If only you hadn't tried to hurt Marissa...

Story: Months went by and my best efforts yielded punishment. If I wasn't accidentally knocking over a vase in the kitchen, I was tracking mud into the hallway. It invariably ended with my pants around my ankles and my grandfather's old leather belt smashing into me as I tried not to scream. Screaming would only make the beatings last longer.

Ocean Elf: I am getting angrier by the second!

Story: When it was finally over and I inched my jeans and underwear back up, I told myself I'd be better; that I'd be a good kid from here on out. And for a while – for the entire month of November and into December – I was.

Ocean Elf: But they weren't. They were rotten as always.

Story: Grandma, Neil, and I went to get our Christmas tree on December 4th. We came home and decorated it while cookies baked in the oven. I remember Grandma lifting me with her strong, solid arms so I could put the star on top. The star had been her daughter's. My mother's. It was one of the only things left that had belonged to her.

Ocean Elf: Oh, boy, I can just see where this is going. You'll drop and break it, and your granny will go hog wild with the blasted bloody freaking belt again! *Glares at granny*

Story: On December 5th,

Ocean Elf: But the star falling off happens a day later...

Story: after Neil and I had gotten home from school, we were playing around. Like all brothers, we played rough. With him being six and me being eight, I was quite a bit bigger.

Ocean Elf: *Sigh* I can see where this is headed. Now the star falls and you get blamed and half killed by dear old Granny again. *Fuming*

Story: When we were wrestling and I was spinning him by his arm, I made a mistake. I let him go and send him right into the Christmas tree. It fell onto the hardwood floor. Ornaments broke. Lights went out.

Ocean Elf: *Sigh* Of course. I should've known. Not just the star. The whole freaking tree. Now your ever-so-loving Grand-Ma-Ma *snarling* does her disgusting belt thing again. *Steaming*

Story: The star shattered.

Ocean Elf: Uh, I figured as much...

Story: In an instant, I was panicking. I knew Neil would tell Grandma. I knew the elf in the other room would learn what I'd done. I'd been good for so long that I'd started hoping I might get Christmas presents. After this, though; after breaking the one thing Grandma had left after her daughter was killed by Dad, I'd be doomed. Grandma would beat me senseless. The elf would tell Santa. I'd get nothing. And Neil would taunt me with his presents.

Ocean Elf: Oh, crap! Why in heck didn't child services remove you kids from this rotten excuse of a home? Obviously none of these factory-reject *cough* adults ever should go within a thousand miles of children, let alone have any in their custody! *Storming*

Story: Something sparked inside me. What if the elf hadn't seen what happened? What if Neil didn't tell Grandma?

Ocean Elf: Yeah. If Neil said he had knocked the tree over, your dear old granny would beat on him instead of you. She's just the sort of devil that if she can't belt one child, she'd be totally itching to belt another.

Story: I was very busy for about an hour. By the time I was done, Grandma would be back from work any minute. I knew I might not fool her, but I'd fool the elf. That was most important; it was he who talked to Santa. Not Grandma.

Ocean Elf: What you didn't know, kid, was that your dear old Grand-Ma-Ma has been on the evil list - not just the naughty list, for ages, and so was your waste of skin dad before he finally kicked the bucket.

Story: I wore Neil's face into the living room and looked at the elf on the shelf. He stared back with his black, judgmental eyes.

Ocean Elf: If he can't see with those black eyes, he can't tell which person is which. That you say his eyes are judgmental is just your tormented mind playing tricks.

Story: "I'm sorry I knocked over the tree and broke the ornament," I said, doing my best impression of Neil's high voice. I thought about his body cooling on the kitchen floor and his blood making a mess everywhere. Maybe Grandma would believe he fell on a knife if I cried hard enough.

Ocean Elf: *Shudder* Wait. You're imagining Niel getting beaten, and then you say she'll think he fell - when she's the one who would beat him? Unless *shudder* YOU are going to try and kill him... You burned Marissa, after all... Badly. You learned your lessons all too well from the monsters that raised you...

Story: Under the mask of my brother's skin, I peered at the elf through the eye holes.

Ocean Elf: What? Eww! *Cringe* You really did learn from your granny and papa...

Story: The skin tasted awful, but I had to breathe through my mouth because the nose holes line up right. I wondered if the elf believed me.

Ocean Elf: Ugh! I'm going to be sick.

Story: "I'm sorry, elf," I squeaked again. I heard the garage door rising and a car pulling inside. Grandma was home. I felt a new rush of panic. I glared through the cold mask at the arbiter of my Christmas fortune. The door connecting the garage to the kitchen opened and I heard my grandmother's shrill, hysterical shriek.

Ocean Elf: The hag responsible for this whole nightmare...

Story: "Elf," I whispered, as tears mixed with my brother's blood and cascaded down my face.

Ocean Elf: I cannot comfort you, kid. But the elf who should've been looking out for your best interest, will have a lot to answer for when he is brought before Santa.

Story: The elf on the shelf turned its head 360 degrees as its mouth opened and closed. When it faced me again, it spoke: "You've been very bad, Neil."

Ocean Elf: So, this elf now tries to impress you or me by pulling an Exorcist movie stunt? Oh please.

Story: I fell to my knees in fervid, incomprehensible relief. Some part of me heard Grandma still screaming, somehow even louder when she came into the room and saw me. Again, the elf spoke, "You've been terrible Neil."

Ocean Elf: I am out of things to say at this point.

Story: Grandma whirled around and looked at the elf, but then shook her head back and forth like she was trying to get ahold of herself. I stood up. Not wanting to ruin the illusion for the elf, I held the mask to my face until I left the room and sat down in the kitchen. Grandma didn't try to hit me. She didn't touch me at all. I piled the skin back on Neil's head and told Grandma he fell. She didn't answer.

Ocean Elf: Excuse me. I need something to settle my stomach.

Story: It didn't matter, though.

Ocean Elf: All of it matters. It's one big mountain of all sorts of wrong.

Story: 20 days later, in my own, warm room at the hospital, I got some very nice Christmas presents. The doctors and nurses were so kind and gentle with me. One even hugged me after I'd opened my gifts. The gifts weren't exactly what I'd hoped for, but they were better than nothing. So much better. I giggled to myself as we hugged. When the nurse asked what I was laughing at, I lied and told her I remembered a funny joke. She smiled, and I was surprised to see a tear running down her cheek. I didn't think much of it, though. All that mattered was I'd won. I'd finally fooled the elf on the shelf.

Ocean Elf: She's not the only one with tears. I'm a pretty tough Ocean Elf, but you finally got something you should've had all along.

But I will deal with your elf...


Back to CP Elves Index