Jeff The Killer versus Jane the Killer Vol. 2. Jeff Kills Patient And His Own Sort Of Not Quite Baby.

See other J VS J story mangling here.

Spoiler - I'm sure Jeffrey never planned to reproduce.


🎦Cue: (Title Card)

Scene: 1 Prologue (Creeper music. Not moving into a JEFF theme yet. NARRATOR speaks)

👺NARRATOR: The county morgue can be a pretty grim and depressing place, especially on a slow, boring day. Even the simplest thing as a routine autopsy can produce results so shocking, that a seasoned mortician can have their lunch jump back into their throats.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Of course. Death is horrible, especially when it's a brutal murder or even just a horrible accident.

Morgue scene moved to near the end where it was repeated with more detail. On the slab is Jeff The Killer.



No, this is not.

The mortician is not cut out for the job if the sight of a supposedly dead Jeff The Killer fazes him that much. that's nothing compared with the kills Jeff inflicted on people!

And Jeff's death sure as heck wouldn't make me gag.

Just the opposite.

I have some characters, one in particular, who would chew Jeff's head right off with enough time and half a chance.

👺NARRATOR: And you're wondering, why is JEFF dead?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, I'm not. Since this is Jeff VS. Jane, I'm pretty sure this is all them trying to kill each other and succeeding, no, make that failing. Because neither one actually ends up dead. Considering what Jeff does during this examination and what happens to Jane 9 months later, something else she could survive while playing at being dead, given her super liquid hate powers for healing/regeneration and all that crap. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Jeff and Jane will be ended all right, just not by each other. I wouldn't give them that satisfaction.

👺NARRATOR: It could be argued that his killing sprees had finally brought an end to him. The police finally closed a case of the most twisted mass murder that the world had seen. Maybe karma stepped in and sealed his fate. All are true.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not yet.

So, I'm going to re-arrange this a little.

This first scene replays near the end with a bit more convo between the CORONERs, and also a mention of Jeff focussing his eyes - after he's supposed to be dead, which means he somehow isn't.

The next scene skips to Jeff in a hospital where he recovers from this 'death' only to kill another patient.

I will move that to the end between the coroner discussion and the last bit about Jane where she supposedly dies.

So, coroner and hospital scene moved to the end, let's move on to what lead up to it.


👺NARRATOR: JEFF walked down the empty street on the outskirts of this town that he had not visited in years.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, just like that, blip, he's out of the hospital, which he shouldn't have been in in the first place, and is now trolling the streets again, looking for his next kill-high. *Scowl*

👺NARRATOR: His home town.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: Memories began to conflict with the feeling that constantly dominated his mind.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Of course they were. Pardon me for not being moved to either sympathy or fear.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF had come to love the feeling.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Of course he did. It was his constant and only companion... *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: It was a subtle pulling now;

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As always.

👺NARRATOR: a small tugging at the back of his mind reminding him that he had something to focus on.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* I know. Who to kill next. *Scowl*

👺NARRATOR: That soon he would need to spill more blood.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Too bad he never spills his own any more. I mean, that face-hack job, but if he had stabbed himself to death, it would've saved a bunch of people a lot of trouble.

👺NARRATOR: He walked along the sidewalk past the bus stop. This was the same bus stop

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That Randy the super skateboarding bully and his crummy cronies had their first stupid fight with Jeff, I know... *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: that he had a fragmented memory of.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, I'm supposed to be moved to some kind of, I dunno what over his silly "fragmented" memories? Not happening. It's his own fault his memories are "fragmented."

👺NARRATOR: A sound of wheels on concrete. A bully. Knives. The feeling.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Already slogged through that in full...

👺NARRATOR: The feeling was growing stronger,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As always. *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: but the fragmented memories were coming together.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so Jeffrey is like a computer, he needs to be defragged. *Snicker*

Yeah, excuse me for not celebrating his memory problem sorting itself again with the return of DA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELING! *Jeer*

👺NARRATOR: JEFF remembered Randy. More accurately, JEFF remembered the hatred that he had for the boy. Randy had destroyed his family, his face.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong! Jeffrey did that - after he destroyed Randy.Jeffrey finished what Randy started.

👺NARRATOR: Randy had broken him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Randy tried to break him physically. But Jef was already screwed up in the head before Randy.

👺NARRATOR: Randy was to blame.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So is Jeffrey. As it turns out, not even Rancid Randy gets truly killed off. He gets teleported via Slender Man from his last heartbeat in 2011 into 2015 where he gets to be a bully all over again. Jeff gets teleported along with him to that time, in a story remake. But he'll get sorted out and held accountable for the death of all sets of his own parents.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF would have killed him again if it were possible.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So would Randy kill Jeff if it was possible.

Both are alike.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF stopped. He was home.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So? Even the worst scum's got to live somewhere.

👺NARRATOR: He noticed a condemned sign posted by the city on the door. The house looked vacant and derelict from the outside, but JEFF picked up the key they always kept under the rug, which was now covered in a blanket of dirt and dust. JEFF entered the house. If JEFF was the first one to get home before his parents or brother did, he always let himself in with the spare house key his folks got for him, which came in handy for him. He looked around the house. Everything seemed preserved as if he had just left the house the day before. Not a single thing had been move or taken down.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Including the bloody bodies he left there? *Rolling eyes* Just couldn't resist.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF fought back the urge to call out to his parents. He knew that he would not be getting a response; he saw to that all those many years ago.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No crap, Captain Obvious Jeffrey. *Sneer*

👺NARRATOR:The moonlight from outside beamed in through JEFF's kitchen and faintly illuminated the counter and living room.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And that matters because?

👺NARRATOR: The TV and furniture remained undisturbed, even the plastic plants, which added a civilized touch to the museum that was JEFF's past life.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Civilized? Nothing could fix his life, past or otherwise. Plastic plants are just useless clutter as far as I'm concerned.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF expected the power to be out in the entire house, but to his astonishment, the digital alarm clock in LIU's old bedroom glowed an eerie blue, showing the correct time and current date.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: A condemned house, with the power still on? Hmm, whatever. There's a reason this house looks this way. It is still being used by Jeff and Liu as a hideout. If it doesn't look lived in, they're trying to keep it that way.

💩Jeff: (Flash back with echo)

Shh... Just go to sleep...

👺NARRATOR: Was what JEFF heard in his mind, echoing, becoming faint as he remembered everything that happened.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I remain unmoved.

👺NARRATOR: A part of him just wanted to cry over the loss of his brother,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nope, Liu is his partner in crime.

👺NARRATOR: but another part of him, the feeling, felt no remorse.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As always.

No sympathy from me.

👺NARRATOR: As JEFF was about to explore the rest of the house, he came across his dad's liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, a stubby glass and began drinking.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If I was there, I'd ram that bottle into his hack-job face and down his throat. There's nothing quite so revolting as a sadistic beast such as Jeff, eating, drinking, or crying crocodile tears, or, committing sadistic acts. Because he does #4, he has no right to do the other three...

👺NARRATOR: Who would go through all this trouble to not have the power shut off? Doesn't the city order a house which is condemned to have its power cut off and its water discontinued? JEFF thought. JEFF's mind could register that something didn't seem right, but twitching and shaking to put the pieces together, the feeling held any deep cognition at bay. Already, it was 3:50 AM. As JEFF sat in the dark, in total silence...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Hiss* Come on. It really isn't so condemned as all that.

👵Margaret: Jeffrey? Is that you, honey?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Now we get treated to Jeffrey talking to the ghosts inside his head - either through some dream or alcohol-induced stupor.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF recognized that voice. It was soothing and gentle... All too familiar. The glass shattered to the ground. In a flash JEFF had his knife withdrawn from his pocket pointing it at the woman who was the first person to startle him since he was a teenager.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So now this totally sozzled, ridiculous loony thinks he can stab a vision. Good going, Jeffrey. *Sneer*

👺NARRATOR: His gaze remained fixed on her face. He knew what he was seeing was impossible. He remembered all be it in pieces, what had happened 11 years ago.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Actually it happened more than once. Once back in 2011, another in 2014 in NY spanning years where first his father was murdered, then eventually his mother, and then in New Orleans in 2015.

👺NARRATOR: He remembered murdering his parents and yet this woman's warm and smiling face beamed back at him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because it's a vision, Jeffrey! And you killed both your mothers. What a moron.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I kinda like already, like, figured that out, like, ya know... What I wasn't quite clear on was which mother this was going to be. Apparently Janey didn't get the memo about Shelia. Not that Shelia was the type to be warm and soothing. She seemed pretty frosty in the disposition department.

💩Jeff: M-Mommy?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, shut up. *annoyed disgusted look*

👺NARRATOR: JEFF spoke, as though he were a frightened child who just got out of a nightmare and sought comfort from his MOTHER.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because he's awfully good at acting like a baby. *Sneer* No love from me.

👵Margaret: Yes, baby. It's me...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Gag* This is looking as nauseating as Jane's stupid NDE in her liquid hate story.

See Jeffrey get coddled, probably grovelled to, and praised as "beautiful" by the ghosts in his head until he wakes up and DA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELING comes back and he goes out and kills somebody else's parents again.

👺NARRATOR: Her words burrowed through JEFF's black heart. He seemed to remember.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, how totally touching. *Scoff* Isn't it interesting how these killers want to be coddled and pampered like infants but spend their time trying to look super badarse to the rest of the world?

💩Jeff: I-I-I thought you were... you...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Unless you intend on finishing your sentences, shut up!

👵Margaret: Shh... It’s okay, my sweety... You were just having a bad dream. Mommy's just fine. See?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, gag me. *Reaches for a barf bucket*

💩Jeff: (Now crying)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scoffs and spits at Jeff* Oh, now suddenly you care. Right. *Accusing look at Jeff*

💩Jeff: I didn't mean to do anything to you or dad. I'm sorry, mommy! I'M SORRY!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Still scoffing contemptuously* Sure you didn't. Just like you didn't mean to kill so many other people. That was just your stupid feeling again.

No fake remorse or insanity plea from you is getting you off the hook with me, Jeffrey. You meant every bit of it, from the first knife stroke to the last drop of blood you spilled, from your own parents to the last victim of yours... Your intent. Your fault.

👵Margaret: JEFF, JEFF. Your FATHER and I know you too well. We know you would never do anything to hurt us. The only thing you ever killed us with is your kindness

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, wow, what a whack job. Only a totally sozzled Jeff would ever dream up the notion that stabbing his parents was kindness.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF, tears falling from his eyes which had long remained dry and near lifeless, looked over his MOTHER's face.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Maintains severe, unsympathetic expression*

💩Jeff: Really?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, stupid, that's just the alcohol and your drunken ego talking. You hated your family. Enough to let your brother go to jail for something you did. Enough to do nothing but snap at your mom, and then kill your parents because they didn't think what you did to your face was "beautiful".

👵Margaret: Really

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. Not really. This vision/dream is nothing but a pile of wishful saccharin on Jeffrey's part.

👵Margaret: I'm gonna go check on your brother, and I'll come tuck you in. You just finish your drink and go lay down on the couch, son. You had a long night.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, brother. What grownup wants to be talked down to like that? h that's right. Jeff and Jane are both very emotionally stunted Sues.

👺NARRATOR: MARGARET kissed her son's forehead. She gently covered JEFF with a quilt as he watched her intently.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Gets something for upset stomach*

👵Margaret: Go to sleep.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, *Chortles* Hahahahahahaha!

💩Jeff: Wait... what did you say?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Smirk broadening into a wicked grin*

👺NARRATOR: She smiled once more at him one last time before vanishing just as quickly as had appeared leaving JEFF with that last loving image and so many questions. Was it some kind of ghost? A dream? Was it the feeling playing trick with his mind? JEFF didn't move.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: All of the above. face it, Jeffrey, your brain is fried. And it's no excuse. Your ghost mom just told you to die. That's something I can actually get behind in one of these stories at last!


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Muahahahahaha!

👺NARRATOR: His FATHER PETER came in, brandishing a large metal pipe, his guts still dangling out where his son had disemboweled him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh! Hahahahaha! Well, I was thinking of having some character make Jeff hallucinate something to that effect when we take him down, but now I see I won't have to go to the trouble. Good. That eliminates the bother and decision of which character I would've had to decide on doing this stuff.

🎞Cue: SOUND: wet crack

💩Jeff: (SCREAM and heavy breathing)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Grin* It's about time you were shaking in your boots and wetting yourself, Jeffrey!

👺NARRATOR: JEFF woke up screaming, gasping. He was alright, but he was still in his house, and everything was still in place. He rolled off the couch, wiped the sweat from his face.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, that was fun while it lasted. Unfortunately, I'm sure he will recover all too soon and get DA FEEEEEEEEELING again.

🎞Cue: SOUND: silence and the sound of night

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Uh, that isn't a sound. It's just - silence.

👺NARRATOR: It was obvious that JEFF was going insane.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* He always was cray cray, but that's no excuse.

👺NARRATOR: As he was about to head out at the crack of dawn, the phone rang.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Let me guess. Jane.

🎞Cue: SOUND: phone ring

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You did that already.

💩Jeff: Who the flare could that be?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I just told you...

👺NARRATOR: The caller I.D. displayed the name:

💩Jeff: LIU...

🎞Cue: SOUND: Receiver click from the phone being picked up

💩Jeff: Hello? Hello!? .....LIU? .....

🎞Cue: SOUND: click Dial tone. The phone is hung back up Another ring of the phone Receiver click from being picked up. Pause

💩Jeff: ... Hello?

😈Jane: (Whispered) I'm coming for you, JEFF...

💩Jeff: Who the flare?

🎞Cue: SOUND: click and change to busy tone.

(Fade music out with fading busy signal)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I told you...

So Janey. You rattled Jeffrey. But you didn't faze me. I know how you operate. *Rolling eyes* and it doesn't matter who you go after, you'll always ee disgusting.

🎞Cue: Scene: 3 Tuesday

(Fade in with bar noise and music)

👺NARRATOR: JEFF sat in the darkest corner of a dimly lit biker bar. Hood over his head, he scans the small crowd that has gathered over the night. The BARTENDER makes note of the night being slower than usual to one of the patrons at the bar. He throws a glance towards JEFF. JEFF, lost in his thoughts continues to survey the crowd. The larger man goes over to where JEFF is sitting.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bleh.

👱🏼BARTENDER: What can I get'cha, son?

💩Jeff: A pitcher of Bass, and a bottle of Jim Beam..... Please.

👱🏼BARTENDER: On the rocks or just with a shot glass?

🎞Cue: SOUND: glass hitting the table. Sip

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl*

💩Jeff: (Inner thought) flarers... all of them. Not a single one of the spit they're drinking... It's so simple.... It would be so quick

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As usual, Jeffrey, you're stupid FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELING and now you're wanting to kill them all. That was all I could make out of your idiotic babbling thoughts.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF's fingers ran across the edge of knife in the pocket of his hoodie.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh of course, gotta have that security knife with him, can't go anywhere without his stupid little pacifier.

👺NARRATOR: A thin cut formed on his finger, the blood reminding him for his lust for the sweet sight.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowls and rolls eyes*

🎞Cue: SOUND: phone ring

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: In the bar?

👱🏼BARTENDER: (Distant)

Uh-huh... Who? Hold on, I'll see if he's in.... Phone call for JEFF. I'm looking for a JEFF. (Closer) Here don’t take forever. We need this phone.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh sure, like there could be ten guys named Jeff in this bar at any one time. And let me guess. Jane again. She's really into phoning everywhere. *Rolling eyes*

💩Jeff: Well, who is it? HEY! H-Hell loo? Hello? ...Hello? Hello...?

👺NARRATOR: No response. However, JEFF did find out who was calling him. At the far end of the building, a beautiful woman

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: "Beautiful" my foot. Gah, just can the 'beautiful' already!

👺NARRATOR: who was wearing blind man's sunglasses, and dressed in all black looked over at JEFF, grinning maliciously, taunting him, her iPhone glowing in her hand. She waved at him with a teasing smirk across her face. She left a few dollar bills on the bar counter and walked off with her phone.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yep, it's Janey again. Who else? Every other woman in these stories is scared of Jeffrey or else they adore him.

👺NARRATOR: By the end of the evening, JEFF was in no shape to go back to his hellish home,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Who's to say the liquor won't have the same effect on him again no matter where he passes out?

And, hellish, really? That's nothing at all compared with the hellish stuff Jeffrey put other people through. He can torture people to death, but he can't take a few ghosts in his head, ghosts of his own making, telling him to go to sleep.

Still no sympathy from me whatsoever.

👺NARRATOR: so he stumbled out of the tavern and checked into a ratty motel for the night.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, too tuckered out to go killing anybody? Good! Finally!

👺NARRATOR: Once inside, a beautiful woman

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for the love! Look, no matter what dress or disguise Jane is in, she - is - NOT - "beautiful" and man I'm sick of people always going on about how "beautiful" every woman is, or how "ugly" for that matter. Shut it!

👺NARRATOR: in a red dress leaving very little to imagination approached JEFF.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That would be Jane's style... *Rolling eyes* if she's not above killing people and fantasizing they are Jeff, in some sort of "I beat you to them!" thing, Jane sure as heck isn't above jumping into the sack with Jeff either, and fooling him into thinking she's someone else. Jane can change like a chameleon after all.......... *Rolling eyes in scorn*

JANE (Disguised as prostitute) Hey there, sweety. Looking for something? I think I can help you find it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: BINGO! *Gets gold star off shelf and puts it with rest of collection* Called it, again!

Yeah, Janey, I know how you operate.

Neither of you possess what he's lost, a well-functioning mind, and a conscience.

But it should be easy enough for you to get him to sleep with you, Jeff propositioned his own cousin right after nearly killing her with the help of Slender Man, after all.

And no, I don't care if Jane is classified as "gay" that doesn't mean she isn't bi.

Can we skip over the rest of this so I don't have to slog through a really puky awkward scene? I mean, I get it. I'm pretty sure where this is leading.

💩Jeff: ...Really?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, really...

JANE: (PROSTITUTE) Maybe I could if you have $50 on you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Why not just ask for $150, or better still, $10,000, Janey? *Sneer*

👺NARRATOR: JEFF withdrew his hands from his hoodie which had been using to keep them warm from the chilled night air.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hah, so, the cold-blooded monster doesn't like being out in the cold, or having cold hands. Good to know. *Sly little grin*

👺NARRATOR: He placed his finger in his mouth, his teeth pulling the cut he had made earlier wider open.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, whatever. See Jane and Jeff lick their own blood. Blah.

👺NARRATOR: The blood on his tongue reminded him that the previous dark-haired woman

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The same one...

👺NARRATOR: had distracted him from choosing a target at the bar.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well boo-hoo for him. No sympathy here. So now he thinks he's going to have his way with this, the same woman, even though he doesn't know it, and kill her.

👺NARRATOR: Reminding him that blood of this woman might just do for revenge.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* So ruddy predictable. *Scowl*

👺NARRATOR: JEFF tossed the hooker a Benjamin and they both went to his room.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What the ruddy freaking hex is a Benjamin?

Oh, wait, as in Benjamin Franklin - okay then just say the amount of money instead of trying to sound all cute. *Unimpressed expression)

🎞Cue: SOUND: Door closing. With slight moan noise from free sound.

MUSIC: fade out music to close of sequence.

👺NARRATOR: 3 Am. The noise from the late night drivers zooming past in their cars masked the final sounds of empty passion from JEFF's hotel room.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah I kinda like get the idea...

👺NARRATOR: The woman moved herself to the edge of the bed to stand and get dressed.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So they haven't tried to kill each other yet. I guess they just love sex too much. *Sneer*

👺NARRATOR: JEFF sat up as well, watching her from behind her back.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Typical creepo Jeffrey.

👺NARRATOR: His hoodie lay open on the covers beside him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And inside was his teddybear - I mean soother - I mean knife. I'm surprised he doesn't take it under the covers with him and cuddle with it and suck on it.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF eyed the knife and the pale skin of the woman as she retrieved her clothing form the floor.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Of course he did. So predictable.

👺NARRATOR: His mind went from fantasy to fantasy.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Like it always does... *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: The knife could easily slice her throat and he could watch her fearfully choke to death on her own blood.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Or, he could ram it into his own throat and really get a thrill, up close and even more personal than he ever imagined, and then, no more Jeffrey.

👺NARRATOR: Or perhaps he could simply slide the knife between the ribs in her back and watch as her breathing slowed to death from her own internal bleeding.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Or, he could throw himself on a train track and go to sleep..........

💩Jeff: (Whispered) go to sleep

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Hiss*

😈Jane: (PROSTITUTE) What?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You heard him. And you were just waiting for him to take your bait, Janey.

👺NARRATOR: The woman turned about to match eyes with the killer. They looked intently at one another. Neither breaking the lock on each other’s eyes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, that sort of nixes the staring contest idea I was considering for exposing themselves to each other for the Sues they are.

💩Jeff: Go.....go to....

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut up!

👺NARRATOR: Something was wrong. JEFF was ... distracted.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, Sued by another Sue.

😈Jane: (PROSTITUTE) Yes lover. Go to sleep.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hah! You finally admitted it! Well, Janey, I never thought you would. But you finally came out and admitted it, you want Jeff as a lover.

👺NARRATOR: The woman, pulling on the last of her clothing, laid a kiss on JEFF's scared mouth. JEFF's world began to swim and the things began to fade.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Excuse me for not applauding, because this is still Jane, after all.

😈Jane: (PROSTITUTE) Thanks

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're not welcome, stupid!


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh whatever!


(Music choice. Promise reprise)

👦Liu: 'Go to sleep' huh?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, the ghosts in Jeffrey's head again. *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: JEFF sat up with a start. He grabbed at his jacket till he realized that it was no longer on the covers next to him. He was also no longer on the covers. JEFF glanced about in all directions. He was again fully clothed, but in the kitchen of his old home.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER JAAAAAAAAAAAAANE has super dooper strength and she just hauled him over there from the dive they made out in... *Rolling eyes*

And all that ghost stuff is just Janey doing her mind-manipulation crap on him again like before with the phone.

👺NARRATOR: From as far as JEFF could gather, he must have been brought here again.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, aren't you the smart one, Jeffrey... *Sneer*

👺NARRATOR: Or the feeling was really getting to him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Enough with the ruddy "feeling" already!

👺NARRATOR: Was all of the other day a dream? Was he really in this house the whole time? JEFF searched for the voice that had spoken to him, exacting to see his MOTHER again or his decomposing FATHER. But the voice came from a younger man, bottle in hand and covered in rags.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: More ghosts in his head.

👺NARRATOR: The young man glanced up at JEFF. It was... LIU?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Blah, blah, blah.

💩Jeff: LIU...? I-I can't believe it.

👦Liu: Believe it, bro. Ha-ha. Man, my side still hurts like a MOTHERflarer after you stabbed me. But there's one thing you forgot. If you were going to stab anyone... L-Let alone your own flesh and blood, do it in a vital area, not a non-vital, DUMB-ASS! (edit) (Laugh)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nope, this is as much a vision as any of them. And probably Janey's creation. After all, she's supposed to be able to mess with the memories of some people.

But only the weak-minded... Like Jeffrey.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF was almost at a loss for words.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Completely at a loss for words would be even better.

👺NARRATOR: This was impossible.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah. Because Liu, having escaped, still isn't super human, and wouldn't just blip into a house he and Jeff hadn't been in for ages, just that same day Jeff was there.

👺NARRATOR: Of everyone that JEFF had killed over the years he could remember LIU.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. Liu got away. We are sticking with that. And of course Jeffrey would remember Liu because he was his brother, for crying out loud. No big profundity there.

👺NARRATOR: LIU looked at him in the eyes when he died.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. Liu might have looked him in the eyes, but he also got away. If Jeffrey would rather go on fantasizing that he actually killed his own brother than admit failure to do it, that's his problem. The story never said Liu was actually killed, only that Jeff was about to...

👺NARRATOR: JEFF remembered sliding the knife between LIU's ribs He remembered the blood on the walls from his hands as he ran out of the house.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. He stuck so many people in the ribs with his stupid knife that he couldn't possibly remember which ones he did that to and which he stabbed elsewhere. He was going to stab Liu in the 2011 story, he just took off after stabbing their parents in the 2015 story, either way, Liu was not stabbed.

👺NARRATOR: LIU didn't scream or cry.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Liu wasn't killed.

👺NARRATOR: LIU just watched JEFF as he died, as if he was expecting this to happen.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. Liu was not killed. He helped Jeff with more murders after their parents were killed. Jeff's warped memory is only his way of trying to make himself feel better about not managing to kill his brother, however much he actually wanted to.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF remembered the feeling left him completely for the last time at that point.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. Liu had nothing to do with that big feely feeling Jeff kept getting, which came back and stayed, permanently...

👺NARRATOR: He remembered the feeling of regret.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh sure, regret at not managing to kill somebody.

💩Jeff: LIU... I'm... I'm sorry I tried to kill you. But how did you...?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No you're not, Jeffrey. You're only sorry you didn't kill Liu.

👦Liu: How did I stop myself from bleeding you ask?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nice try, faux Liu Ghost, Liu stuck with Jeff to clean up all his messes and helped him avoid arrest.

👺NARRATOR: He got up, still staggering from the tequila he was drinking, lifted up his shirt, and showed his brother the place on his side.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lot of guzzling alcohol here. And why should I care about some ghost in Jeffrey's head showing him an imaginary wound.

👦Liu: Well... while mom and dad were asleep, I went to our kitchen, turned on one of the gas burners, and cauterized it. A little something you learn from watching a few episodes of 'E.R.', 'HOUSE', and some of those other medical shows you come across. It hurt like hell, but I'm... I'm alright.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull. For starters, parents weren't asleep, they were dead. Liu didn't die.

💩Jeff: I'm... I... I didn't mea—

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut it, Jeffrey! What you never meant to do was leave anyone alive.

👦Liu: JEFF, JEFF. It's alright. I knew you were just flaring' with me. Remember when you kicked those guys’ asses for me, bro? That's when to kill, not to kill your own brother. But it was an accident; you didn't mean to stab me. Don't worry about it!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What a pile of bull, coming from such a yutz of a faux ghost.

💩Jeff: So, you forgive me?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: NO! *Withering glare*

👦Liu: Duuuude! Of course I do! Stop worrying for ***'s sake. There is nothing in the world that would stop loving my brother. Love ya, buddy.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Cut the blaspheming! And I think I'm gonna be sick. You actually got that bit right, since Liu became complicit in subsequent murders - trying to hide evidence etc.

💩Jeff: I... I love you too LIU:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah right, you sure have a funny way of showing it. *Dirty glare*

LIU: Hey. Well I've got things to do. I'll see you soon.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Don't let me keep you, faux Liu ghost, just go do whatever it is you have to do. How about you play in traffic?

💩Jeff: ... Yeah.... of course... soon....

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut it, Jeffrey!

👺NARRATOR: With that, lost in what he could have said, or what he could have done. JEFF stood. He met eyes with his brother again. Thoughts filled his head thousands at a time. Had his mind not broken so many years ago at Billy's party, he might have been able to make sense of them. He might have been able to ask the questions that were still burning inside him. He might have been able to feel something more than the memories of what his emotions should be, but he couldn't. JEFF simply nodded, turned his back, and began the walk out of the house and onto the next location. LIU saw JEFF depart into the night until his white hoodie faded from view.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Pardon me for not applauding, but this babble was unconvincing, uninteresting, and sappy. No little shows of remorse could ever be sincere from Jeffrey, no faux Liu ghost is going to make any difference in Jeffrey's failure to kill his brother.

👦Liu: But you sure as he|| aren't going to love what's in store for you, you son of a wench...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: This is Jane doing her shape shift thing again. *Rolling eyes*

🎞Cue: Scene: 5 Wednesday


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That has to do with the Letter From Jane The Killer meme so is moved there. Jane left the same note twice at two attacks, one done by Jeff, the later one done by her.

🎞Cue: Scene: 6 THURSDAY


👺NARRATOR: A light rain began to fall as the nighttime was quickly approaching. The wind and splashing from passing cars helped to clean off the now, once again stained hoodie.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not really. It would wet it, and serve Jeffrey right to get drenched and cold. But for the hoodie to be clean, it would have to be thrown in a washing machine with laundry soap just like anything else. So he's now got a wet and dirty hoodie.

👺NARRATOR: The caked blood leaked of his clothing with the rain as it grew heavier and formed a small river of red behind him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Unrealistic. He would've had to be swimming in blood with all his clothes on to create that effect.

👺NARRATOR: The feeling that had begun so long ago was gone for now, but he knew it would be back soon.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Just like always... *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: He could only think clearly for a short while. Long enough for the pieces to start falling into place.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: He never thinks clearly. All he ever thinks about is killing and how "beautiful" he thinks he is. And where to get the next big thrill at the expense of someone else's life. *Scowl*

👺NARRATOR: This woman from the bar that knew his name, the hooker from the hotel that knocked him out,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: All the same disgusting Chick, Jane Richardson

👺NARRATOR: the odd note that he found in the baby's room.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Same disgusting Jane.

👺NARRATOR: Who could be following him, and if they really hated him so much, why didn't they kill him already?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Jane, and the reason she hasn't killed him yet is the same reason Jeffrey loves to toy with his victims before killing them. Duh! Disgusting sadistic scumbags, both of them!

💩Jeff: flare flare! Who the flare is JANE?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Spoken like the jackass you are, Jeffrey...

👺NARRATOR: The feeling was inching back into his mind.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Frustrated sigh* Always the feeling, always the feeling, always with DA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELING! *Facepalm*

👺NARRATOR: More violence. More blood.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* That's all he ever thinks about besides how "beautiful" he is, and getting sex and alcohol.

👺NARRATOR: He wouldn't be able to think soon.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: He never could. At least, he never thought anything worth while...

👺NARRATOR: His hands returned to his pockets. The edge of the knife that he had already cleaned and sharpened to a razor's edge.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because he needs his stupid pacifier... *Sneer*

👺NARRATOR: The feeling will be too much soon.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Sigh* For the ruddy love! Enough with DA FREAKIN FEEEEEEEEEEEEEELING already!

👺NARRATOR: He needed help,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, he's beyond help and all hope. Always has been. The only thing he needs help doing is killing himself.

👺NARRATOR: and maybe now there was finally someone who could help him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? He's even more of a fool than I thought.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF needed to return back home.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It wasn't home. He doesn't have a home. He turned his back on anything family and home in the worst way, and there's no reversing that.

But hey, if he's fool enough to think his former home is haunted, why try making him see differently?

👺NARRATOR: The light rain had picked up to a thunderstorm by the time JEFF reached his old house at the edge of town. A crack of thunder, and a shatter of glass. JEFF was in the house.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What's the thunder got to do with the glass breaking got to do with Jeff being in the house? He didn't break a window with a clap of thunder to get into the house.

👺NARRATOR: The sound of rain outside echoed through the broken window and into the house.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Broken windows don't make rain echo.

👦Liu: Hey, JEFF. Ha! I should have known you'd have come back if I waited. I almost thought you'd stopped caring.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Still up to your old stupid shapeshifting mind-bending tricks I see, Janey. *Sneer*

👺NARRATOR: JEFF turned around, and before he could say anything, LIU took a trophy off the shelf and a wet crack rang through JEFF's ears.

🎞Cue: SOUND: wet crack

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whatever that's supposed to be.

👦Liu: YOU* Go to sleep.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF's world went black.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Fine.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF woke up in a living room full of industrial tools and assorted drills knives and hammers. The room seemed to have been built like a class for anyone who wanted to go into carpentry.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Forget most of that other stuff, Jeffrey should be tickled pink that there are knives there. *Sneer*

💩Jeff: Where the he|| am I...? (edit)

😈Jane: I've been waiting a long time for this, JEFF.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I figured you would show up as your true self and say something like that, Janey...

👺NARRATOR: LIU responded, but it wasn't in his male voice, it was a female voice.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because it's Jane... *Scowl*

👺NARRATOR: JEFF, saw as LIU's features evaporated from his face, peeling off of him in a thick cloud of smoke.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Always the overdramatic one, Janey...

👺NARRATOR: The young male's skinny frame transformed into the luscious curves of a woman in a tight black dress

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Red dress, black dress, tight over her "luscious curves" yeah that's Mary Sue Jane all right...

👺NARRATOR: with oddly only solid black orbs for eyes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because Mary Sues have "orbs" the rest of us have real eyes. Next, you're going to describe her black hair and her Jadis-white skin. You won't call it Jadis, though, I put that in.

👺NARRATOR: Pouted lips smirked at him with a familiar teasing smile.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, Jane is such an amazingly spectacular Sue that she pouts, smirks, and smiles all at the same time! Like wow! *Sneer*


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And now your ego just took a hit, awww, pooooooor Jeffeeeeeeee.

👺NARRATOR: JANE turned on a utility light, gripped it and turned it towards herself. Her skin was pale like a corpse and contrasted by the curled raven hair that fell to her mid-back.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I figured the rest of that stupid Mary Sue's description would get trotted out again...

👺NARRATOR: In a way she was a beautiful woman,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Facepalm* GAH!

Look, no amount of you saying is is going to convince me of that. I don't give a flying hot dart what her appearance is like except for identifying purposes. There is nothing "beautiful" about this sadistic piece of scum and I'm fed up to hear with people always judging women as "beautiful" based on appearance. So shut it!

👺NARRATOR: but the air about her seemed to be as ugly and dark as the aura that surrounded JEFF.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Let's just tell it like it is, these two are ugly as sin.

😈Jane: I told you I would be coming for you in the end... Oh, and did I mentioned, your brother fit me like a glove... so did

👵Margaret: You’re MOTHER...

👴Peter: You’re FATHER...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh goody goody, see Jane show off her liquid hate shapeshifting crap.

Throw yourself off a cliff, Jane, and maybe I'll clap for you.

😈Jane: The paperboy... but your features. I'll be glad to peel the skin off your face Jeffery. Finally bring your little rampage to an end. (Evil chuckle)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, really Jane, you bloody hypocrite! As if your own rampage was somehow not as bad, oh please! Shut up before I puke all over you!

💩Jeff: Really now... and why would yo-


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And Janey, you are just as much a piece of crap!

😈Jane: A little town called Bellevue, Illinois. Remember it? Oh right. You're a psychotic flare.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well Janey, he's not gonna remember it because he was never there to kill your ruddy parents back in 2002, you old coot of an over-grown, over-sexed Jeff-fangirl! The killer of your parents was some other psycho. You've gone off your freaking chump as much as Jeffrey has, and I have no sympathy for you and your stupid sob story! So your mommy and daddy got killed, and what did you do with your life? You became the same as their killer, and Jeff came along to join you two in that ugly distinction later.

😈Jane: I guess you don't so let me remind you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Sigh* Janey, I've heard your boring sad sucky life long sorrow story so many times that I've lost track of the count.

😈Jane: 11 years. I've been searching for you for 11 flaring years.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. You've been at it longer than that, Janey, since 2002, and Jeffrey only started killing back in 2008. So your story is crap.

😈Jane: Since I was 10.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You are really losing it, Janey. You were 10 back in 1995, when Jeffrey would've been a small child, an infant, or not even born yet, depending on which story and time/setting. This means you were likely hunting an infant. Great going, Jane, that really makes you look good. *Sneer*

😈Jane: Since you told my parents to go to sleep.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong. Your parents were still around in 1997 when you were 12, and you got in trouble for making out with some girl in your school. They sued the school and you were transferred to a different school. Your parents were killed in 2002, by some much older killer than Jeffrey. "Jeffrey Woods" may have been one of his many aliases, but he and Jeffrey Hotek are not the same person. Your killer is dead. Caught, and killed in prison.

😈Jane: Since you over looked my room. Since I mopped up the flaring blood.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 1. That was your parents killer, not this boy who's younger than you. 2. As to your mopping up the blood, you were obviously horribly morbid even back then. No real victim of the killing of someone they loved would do that. They'd call 911. The police would look after the carnage as well as study it as evidence. You could've gotten in trouble for disturbing a crime scene, and since it was you, Janey, you should have.

💩Jeff: (Laughing)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Glare* SHUT - UP!

Typical Jeffrey would find that idea entertaining..........

😈Jane: Sick Psychotic flare

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You both are! Yes, you too with what you did to get a 211 plus body count, Janey.

💩Jeff: You're right.... I don't remember a single second of it. (Laugh)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because you weren't there, stupid!

😈Jane: You're going to regret everything that you've done to me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, right, it's always all about you, Janey, "What you've done *TO ME* TO ME To ME - TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Never mind that this Jeffrey, vile as he is, hasn't done anything to you yet other than screw you, which was your own ruddy stupid idea.

So forget what Jeff has actually done to his victims, Jane, *YOU* are the only one that matters! Oh you make me sick!

It takes ice, or rather, quite the liquid hate coursing through the veins for one to:

- mop up the blood after her parents were killed

- kill 5 people for no reason when reviving after a scientific experiment/procedure, however unethical it was

- kill more people, upward of 206 after that point, maybe more, when you're supposed to stop only one other killer, and all these people are innocent and your killer isn't even a threat any more

- have sex with some psycho who actually did kill people, but not your parents, however, you still believe he is guilty of that, so that you can even sex it up with him makes you revolting.

🎞Cue: SOUND: knife cut. Knife cut. JEFF continues to laugh.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

💩Jeff: You missed my throat. MY face has plenty of holes in it as is. Poor JANE the murderer. Her parents are dead and she's going to wench and whine with her little knife.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As if you'd give up your own little knife, Jeffrey! And yeah it would be just like you to enjoy getting stabbed. You carved your own face up after all. You cut your finger so you could taste your own blood. That's all part of a day's fun for you. *Scornful look*

😈Jane: flare you! Where do you get off calling me a-

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: A whiner? You both are! You are such disgusting sadistic and whiny angst Mary Sues.

💩Jeff: Please. Black eyes. That little smoke and mirrors trick.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The liquid hate apparently made her eyes black, Jeffrey, and yes she is smoke and mirrors. But you both are killers! *Glare*

💩Jeff: You don't do what I do without seeing some crap, lady. Demons, monsters, tall m(censored)f(censored) in the woods, it comes with the territory.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So you admit you're as nutty as she is. The only difference between you two besides gender is that she can actually do smoke and mirrors, and you cannot, Jeffrey. *Sneer*

💩Jeff: Pathetic little teenager makes a deal with the devil and that kind of deal doesn't come cheap. You need blood. A lot of blood. (Laughs)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well Jeffrey, you would know, speaking from your own experience, pathetic little man.

👺NARRATOR: The blood leaking out of JEFF's mouth dripped onto his chest and arms granting him just enough wiggle room to split his hands out of his restraints and vaulted his foot into JANE's stomach knocking the woman the ground. Before she could move to pick herself up, JEFF continued the brutal assault by throwing the wooden chair itself at her, breaking it over her back; an act that would have crippled a lesser woman.


Now, sit back and watch the epic battle of the Sues! Which one takes all, and eventually kills all?

Actually neither, because some of us have plans for these two which won't give any of them the satisfaction they crave.

💩Jeff: I like your play pen JANE.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't care what you like, Jeffrey. *Scowl*

🎞Cue: SOUND: JANE screaming and the sounds of scrambling as she's dragged.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Unimpressed expression* Excuse me for forgetting to applaud.

👺NARRATOR: Taking a fist full of JANE's hair, JEFF began dragging her to a wooden table at the edge of the room.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Blah, blah, blah. If this was one of Jane's victims doing this, I'd find it entertaining. But it's just Jeffrey. *Scowl*

👺NARRATOR: In her daze, her only thoughts were that this didn't go as she had envisioned it for so many years.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: When you get out of this one, Janey, there will be something else you will face that you never saw coming. And Jeffrey will not be the one with the upper hand.

😈Jane: Her only thought was to panic.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

💩Jeff: Really you couldn't have caught me at a better time. I've been so hungry for this and your blood... since I Saw you in the bar...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're both so alike, you and your stupid animalistic hunger for blood. *Scowl*

👺NARRATOR: As he forced her arm in place, JEFF couldn't help be marvel at how her arm seemed to be made for the metal vice. It fit perfectly almost like it was made for this from the start.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

🎞Cue: SOUND: crunch of bones and a scream.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* But wait, Jane will get to really be a stunner with her SUUUUUUUUPER powers of REGENERATION! *Sneer*

👺NARRATOR: The sound of snapping bones and torn muscles from woman's wrist echoed through the home. JANE frantically griped in all directions reaching for a tool of some kind, anything she can use to escape the unbearable pain. The first handle that she can fine, she camps her hand on and swings with all her strength at JEFF's legs

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Sigh* Boring.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ho-hum.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF fell to the ground from his shattered bone. Bewildered, JANE inspects the hammer that she now has clamped tightly with her left hand. Wonder quickly gave way to pain and she was snapped back to reality. JANE desperately clawed at the vice, untwisting it as quickly as she could to free her mangled hand. She stared at the now useless appendage. The device had applied so much pressure that it split the skin and crushed every bone leaving her wrist looking like a broken balloon full of jello.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But she'll regenerate it. Again, ho-hum.

First one Sue has the upper hand, then the other. Blah, blah, blah.

💩Jeff: (Laugh; cough)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Smack* Shut up, Jeffrey!

💩Jeff: flaring wench...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Spits at Jeffrey*

🎞Cue: SOUND: drill noise. Wet blood. JEFF's scream

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yadda yada. Bor-ring...

😈Jane: Die you basilisk! DIE!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yes, he will, as will you, but not by each others' hand.

💩Jeff: I'm going to rip your flaring heart out and ram it right down your throat, YOU DIRTY w(censored).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're just as dirty, Jeffrey, you even wanted to do it to your own cousin after you stabbed her.

🎞Cue: SOUND: wind picking up. Thunder. Fire. Change to music something's wrong

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Shudder* How did fire get into this?

👺NARRATOR: Blood leaked from the walls. More than should have been possible to be in JEFF's body.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well I'm pretty sure Jane is bleeding profusely too.

👺NARRATOR: The thunderstorm outside the walls of the house churned the skies above. The clouds forming an opening.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And I should care about that because?

👺NARRATOR: These were no longer two people.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No crap, they've been sharing one mind/psyche forever so they might as well be the same person... *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: These were demons at war with one another.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As I said before, both equally evil. Demons in that sense, yes. But without that whole soul-stealing crap.

👺NARRATOR: A stray bolt of lightning ignited the attic of the old home. The walls transformed from dripping blood to a putrid smelling inferno.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Eww. Gross.

👺NARRATOR: JANE stepped back from JEFF's twitching body leaving him broken in a pool.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Fine...

😈Jane: Don't go to sleep, JEFF. I need you awake for this.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut your putrescent trap, Janey!

👺NARRATOR: JEFF picked himself shaking off the ground. Putting pressure on his leg caused a sickening crack. The pain from it was blinding but not as blinding as the feeling was at this point.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, right, DA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELING! Jeffrey's constant companion along with his stupid little security knife... *Sneer*

👺NARRATOR: Flare the tools. The power tools, the saw, the hammers, nothing would satisfy JEFF like this would. He withdrew the knife from his pocket.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So... Once again, I'm bang on. *Rolling eyes*

💩Jeff: ...oh I'm not going anywhere....

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: To sleep isn't anywhere, nor is it dead, Jeffrey. Idiot!

😈Jane: You took my life JEFF... You took it away from me and this moment is all that I could think about for the past 11 years.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong, Janey. You took your own life. You were the one who decided to live, hellbent on revenge, against the wrong killer, for more than 11 years...

💩Jeff: I haven't taken it yet. Give me another minute.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You don't get another minute, Jeffrey, you have five seconds to turn tail and run before that fire or someone other than Jane makes pablum out of you.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF limped slowly towards JANE. He had been crippled by the hammer and his blood loss has turned his vision into a blur.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So Jeffrey, just go to sleep.

👺NARRATOR: JANE rose her arms from her sides and the room around them seemed to be shifting, darkening.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So Jellow arms Janey can suddenly raise her arms up now? and that makes the room spin and darken because? Oh, right, it doesn't. Jeff's blood loss is making him see things.

👺NARRATOR: The whole house was becoming JEFF's personal hell. His MOTHER and FATHER stood beside JANE, just as he remembered them.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Um didn't we already plunge off that cliff like a couple times already? These faux ghosts are really getting annoying.

👺NARRATOR: Gutted. Bloody. Dead.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As if Jane would know anything about it. This is all more dumb stuff from Jeffrey's head again.

👴Peter: Why did you do this to us, son?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes and sighing* Here we go again.

👵Margaret: We didn't lie to you, we never did. We were just trying to protect you, honey.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for the love! Stop the "honey"!

👦Liu: You could've been with us, JEFF. We're happy and safe where we're at, bro. But sadly, you'll be cleaning toilets in hell.

👺NARRATOR: Cut after cut from his own family. They surround him chanting cutting him deeply with saws and screw drivers from the carpentry house of horror. JANE laughed in JEFF's face.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Of course she would. This is just her stupid fantasies and she's putting them all into Jeff's head, where they mingle with his own actual memories of the murders. *Scowl*

👴PETER 👵MARGARET 👦LIU: (Slow chanting)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* let me guess. "Go to sleep."

👴👵👦Faux Ghost Family: Go to sleep

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gets another gold star off shelf and puts it with rest of collection*

😈Jane: Do you see the pain? Everything you've lost? What you've done to yourself? Do you feel what I've felt JEFF? This is what you've done to everyone else!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not just him, Janey, this is also what *YOU* have done to everyone else. All the families you and Jeff both killed. I'm not talking about your parents, Jane, I don't give a dang about your parents. You lost all claim to sympathy when you became a killer, just like Jeffrey, and just like the one that killed your parents.

😈Jane: This monster that you've let your insanity become! This is-

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Your own insanity too, Janey...

🎞Cue: SOUND: Stab. All other chanting and music is cut. Only the sound of blood and the burning house.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So where did that fire come from?

💩Jeff: You give me way too much credit, JANE. I don't give a crap.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's obvious, Jeffrey.

😈Jane: You....you....

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What? Stumped for words, Janey?

💩Jeff: Shhhhhhh.... Go to sleep...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You! Shut it!

👺NARRATOR: The house burned.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So... They both ended up in a burning house. What caused the fire?

🎞Cue: Scene: 7 Friday

(Begin sweet dreams performed by Chris craft)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Wince* I'm getting something for my stomach. This music is making me sick.

👺NARRATOR: On The cold metal slab of the morgue, before the mortician lay an average height, lanky, pale man. The skin of his face is pulled impossibly tight from scarring. His eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, never able to close. His mouth is permanently ripped into a smile across his face. This is JEFF. Also known as JEFF the Killer.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, wow, for a moment I actually thought you were about to describe something horrific.

But no, it's only a near-dead Jeff The Killer.

So - he died in a fire caused by - what? Lightning?

👨🏾‍⚕️CORONER: Homicide plain and simple. Cause of death severe blood loss due to disembowelment.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So why didn't you mention this earlier? All you said, Mr or Ms. Narrator, was stuff about Jeff's stupid face. If you'd said he was disembowelled, then I could understand the mortician's queasiness, even if it is Jeff The Killer.

👨🏿‍🔬CORONER 2: Frank. You can't be serious. You heard they pulled this guy from a fire right?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Impatient sigh*

👨🏾‍⚕️CORONER: I read the police report yeah, but there is not a single burn mark on the guy. Do you see charring because I sure don’t?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, so, what then?

👨🏿‍🔬CORONER 2: So you're suggesting that someone burned his clothes and then dressed him in them and dumped his body in the house after the fire?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: makes sense.

👨🏾‍⚕️CORONER: I'm suggesting this guy was in one heck (edit) of a knife fight before dying of blood loss in that house

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Pretty much.

👨🏿‍🔬CORONER 2: No man can die in a burning building and not get burned Frank.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Unless the fire didn't reach every part of the building.

Wait, first he's disembowelled, then burned, what the heck? Which is it? Was he one or the other or both? Then dressed in burned clothes? Oh whatever.

👨🏾‍⚕️CORONER: Well... look at the guy's face Elli... Does he look like a man anymore to you?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Get over it, people, forget the stupid face. If he's disembowelled, his face-hack/burn doesn't cancel that out.

👺NARRATOR: JEFF's eyes refocused on the Doctor's face.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Re-focused? Dead people don't re-focus their eyes. And when did a doctor get into this?

🎞Cue: (Credit roll for video during sweet dreams.)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So... Jeff's turn to have a NDE.

🎞Cue: MUSIC: Fade out of piano music. Fade up to Sweet Dreams.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: 9 months later.

🎞Scene: 2 Monday

(Fade up to sweet dreams.)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You already said that.


🤕PATIENT: Hey... hey man are you awake?

💩JEFF: (PATIENT) Yeah I am... What?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl*

🤕PATIENT: Can't sleep... I never could in a hospital bed like this.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut it. *Glare*

🤕PATIENT: Yeah sorry. Well hey what happened to you anyway? I mean why the bandages all over your face?

💩JEFF (PATIENT) I was.... burned....

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm not sorry for you.

🤕PATIENT: J(censored) man! That has to flaring suck! How?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Cut the blaspheming! And if you're gonna toss f-bombs, you might as well be flaring. Thusly edited.

💩JEFF (PATIENT) Doesn't matter anymore. You know? ... What about you?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No duh! It never mattered!

🤕PATIENT: Oh man I don't have any burns but you probably can't see that huh? I was had a bit of a car wreck. Got my leg caught and broke it so I'm wired up to this bed. I say I'm fine but the doctors want to keep me in o-

💩JEFF (PATIENT) So you can't move at all?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Exactly what Jeffrey is hoping for.

🤕PATIENT: What? No I'm kind of stuck to the lifting thing and the Heart monitor. Why?


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Shut up, Jeffrey!

🤕PATIENT: Dude. What are you doing? Should you be getting up?! You're a burn victim man!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not to mention that if he's a burn victim, he shouldn't even be in with this patient, he should be in the burn unit.

💩JEFF (PATIENT) Have you ever seen a burn wound before on someone's face?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: None of your business, Jeffrey, now shut it and keep your stupid paws and little knife friend to yourself!

Oh, he probably managed to sneak a knife into the hospital too, I wouldn't be surprised.

🤕PATIENT: Holy flare what are you doing!? NURSE! NURSE!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl*

💩JEFF (PATIENT) Why does everyone scream at my face? Doesn't anyone find it beautiful anymore?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut it, creep! No one ever found it "beautiful," you freak!

🤕PATIENT: Are you crazy!? You can't do that to an IV! You're going to kill me! YOU'LL KILL ME!

💩JEFF (PATIENT) Did you ever have that little feeling that you know you really shouldn't do something but...? (Laugh) You really just can't HELP yourself (blowing)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Facepalm* Stuff your "feeling" in your face-hack, Jeffrey!

🤕PATIENT: NO! NO! HEL- (muffled)

💩Jeff: Shh Go to Sleep...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut up!

🎞Cue: SOUND: the dying Muffled moan of a male PATIENT.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Glares at Jeff*

👺NARRATOR: Doctors and nurses found the PATIENT with a piece of duct tape over his mouth to prevent him from screaming or calling for help. The poor man's stomach had been ripped open by, what the CORONER's report would later reflect, someone's bare hands. Finger-painted above his bed in red. I'll be waiting. Go to sleep.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Glare* Though Jeff is into tearing people open, whoever heard of somebody doing that with their bare hands? Oh, but then, this is SUUUUUUUUUUUPER JEFF! *Sneer*

🎞Cue: SOUND: fading out sweet dreams

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

👺NARRATOR: Again in the cold, lifeless morgue with two of the most criminally insane humans ever to walk the earth.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The morticians are the two most criminally insane people to walk the earth?

Yeah, in your attempt to sound super dark, you blundered.

👺NARRATOR: In front of the CORONER lay a beautiful,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Facewall* Aaaaaaagh! Cut the freaking "beautiful" for once and for all! if this is Jane, she is anything but!

👺NARRATOR: young, black-eyed woman. Dead.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, nine full months after Jeff had his NDE and slowly got another chance to recover... Jane ends up dead. Probably killed herself. Well, what has she got to live for anyway?

👺NARRATOR: When the police found her body, she was lying on a table hands and feet chained to it with a message scrawled on the wall.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Let me guess. "Go to sleep."


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Withering glare* You will not like what comes at the end of your wait, Jeffrey...!

👺NARRATOR: Cause Of Death: Child birth

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, she and Jeff did the nasty, so if it weren't for the liquid hate, this would hardly be a surprise. But no human embryo could be conceived, let alone survive in a body pumped with that stuff, replacing the blood supply. But even if there had been no bad science, childbirth didn't chain Jane to a table. Jeff's fault too.

Jane still had one defence. She couldn't fight, but she could still pull off a disguise. It was the same disguise that got her trapped in the first place. The fake pregnancy. Since Jane could regenerate parts of herself using her liquid hate, creating a growing blob of tissue inside her was just another new handy dandy thing one could do with liquid hate coursing through her veins.

She had hoped the fake pregnancy would stop Jeff from coming after and trying to kill her. Stupid ditz should've known better.

Jeff caught Jane at a vulnerable time, going into false labor with a fake freakizoid rubber baby, generated the same way her limbs grow back - liquid hate. Jeffrey took advantage. Her strength was so depleted that she couldn't even draw on liquid hate to defend herself, and Jeff chained her up, leaving both her and what he thought was a real baby, to die of injury, dehydration, starvation, birth complications, you name it.

During the attack, she weakened, and called on liquid hate once again to pull off another trick. That being, fake death.

It was enough to fool Jeff into leaving her alone. He only enjoyed messing with his victims until they were dead, unless he could use corpses to terrorize anyone he held hostage.

But there were no others around he could torment with Jane's "corpse" so he lost interest.

He smugly left Jane and the false infant for dead.

Someone else came in and found Jane while she was still unconscious, trying to heal herself.

The "baby" had been delivered, and showed no signs of life, nor features of ever having been a normal baby. Its eyes were black and flared over, its skin, pale as chalk, felt like silicone. There was no bone structure detected beneath the squishy meaty surface, no pulse, breathing, movement or other signs of life. Over time, the body temperature didn't regulate itself. this was even true of the head. There was no umbilical cord present, nor signs of one having been cut from the "infant".

Jane was reported as "diseased" and when the "baby" was given a full examination by the ME, they concluded that Jane had somehow managed to empregnate herself with a silicone doll. They couldn't figure out how, let alone why.

The result was, the liquid hate project was deemed a massive failure.

Jane managed to hold out and play dead long enough to be pronounced dead, and left in the morgue. Once there, she escaped when no one was looking.

Because neither killer is going to be allowed the satisfaction of killing the other.


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