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Beyond The Naughty List

Peevish Passengers

"You don't know anything!" Zippy ranted at his captor, "Elf On The Shelf isn't supposed to be touched or we lose our magic - "

"Blah, blah, blah. Save it, pal." Ameh cut him off as she hustled with him to her car. "What do you know about James?" She countered.

"He's a scoffer." Zippy replied. "He needed to be taught a lesson."

"Is that all you know of him?"

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

"What's it to ya?" Ameh mocked him. "Do you know anything about his history?"

"Why?"

"Do you?" Ameh insisted sternly.

"No! Was there something I was supposed to report and didn't?"

"No. Ameh subsided, but remained firm. "You better be telling me the truth about that, because if you have associations with a certain individual from his past, and Santa gives me the go-ahead, you'll be wishing for the naughty list - any list other than the one I'll put you on."

"Stop the car, I want out." Zippy demanded.

"Oh, I'll be making another stop, but you're not getting out until I say so." Ameh replied. "Your reign of terror is over."

Ameh's phone dinged. She checked the message when she could stop, then continued on, despite all the protests from Zippy.

Their next stop was in Annie's neighbourhood. Ameh scanned the streets until she apparently saw something or someone she was familiar with, and she eased the car into a stop for that individual, then rolled down her window. "So, you got him, I see?" she said.

"Yeah, just in the nick of time, too."

"Come on in." Ameh invited.

A back door was abruptly opened, and in hopped a determined looking someone with a very unhappy Chet in her arms. "So, is that Zippy you got there?" she asked Ameh.

"Yeah."

The back door slammed shut.

"Want me to hold on to him for you until we reach our destination?" she offered.

"Actually, that wouldn't be a bad idea. So far, I've managed to keep Zippy from zipping away, but it makes driving a little distracted." Ameh turned to see the seatbelt being maneuvered, all the while, Chet was held tightly around his whole body by a free hand.

Ameh held Zippy out over the divide from front to back seat. "Zippy, meet Ocean. She'll look after you."

~

Ocean grinned wickedly, and after securing the seatbelt, reached out to grab Zippy from Ameh.

Zippy and Chet faced each other directly, looking conspiratorially at each other. But then...

Smack!

The two shelf elves cried out simultaneously as Ocean smashed their faces into each other.

"What? Ocean said in the most innocent voice she could manage as she drew them apart, but never loosened her death-grip on them. "All of a sudden you don't like up close and personal?"

Ameh burst out laughing. "If this is how you introduced yourself to Slendy, I would've given anything to be there to see it."

"I wasn't anywhere near this nice." Ocean responded.

"Haha! Zippy crowed. Hear that? Ocean is on the naughty list! What kind of dumb name is Ocean anyway?"

Ocean smirked at him. "As if yours is anything to brag about. You really don't want to find out first hand why I'm called Ocean, but one thing's for sure. Trashing you two is worth the risk of getting on the naughty list."

"Oh, yeah." Ameh shuddered. "Well, don't annihilate them, we have to get there first."

Ocean responded with a deprived groan.

"Hey!" Something suddenly occurred to Zippy. "Why am I talking to you people at all?"

"Because you're looking for trouble." Ocean replied tersely.

"No. I mean, you're not supposed to hear me. I wrote James notes. He never heard me speak."

"Well maybe it's because he's not an elf, or a fairy, like me." Ameh ventured.

"And this whale that's holding us hostage, is?" Zippy snickered, looking at Ocean with scorn.

"Watch it, Zippy!" Ameh snapped.

"Oh, the ignorance. It's mind-blowing!" Ocean countered, smirking back at Zippy. "You know, Zippy, you and I both prove without a doubt that elves - and trolls - " she gave Zippy a shake at that emphasized word, "come in all kinds, shapes, and sizes."

Ameh guffawed. "Owned!"

"I'm not a troll, you - you - "

"You walked right into that one, Ziptard!" Ameh taunted.

Ocean chortled. "'Ziptard... I like it. Seems Ameh's got some venom in her dislike for you..."

"She's just being mean." Zippy said.

Ocean ignored this, and rounded on Chet with, "And Chet, here, is a dummy."

"Hey!" Chet protested.

"Oh!...So he can talk!" Ocean sneered. "Well, Chet, having too much fun watching our fireworks? That would be just like you. But You don't get the satisfaction of having caused them this time."

"What do you know of anything, you stupid, miserable hag?" Chet let loose.

"Do you really want to get in even more trouble with me? You won't like it." Ocean replied coolly.

"I never did anything to you!" Chet tried to appeal.

Bad move!

"Oh, you idiot!" Ocean's explosive temper flashed. She turned Chet toward the empty space next to her on the seat and slammed him down, hard.

Chet wuffed. He must've been stunned, or momentarily winded, because he was only heard panting for breath some time during what happened next.

Zippy's eyes went wide with fear, then he said "Hey, Fairy, whatever you said your name is, if I have to sit with anybody, I'd rather be up front with you."

Ocean smirked. "But why?"

"And I thought I had cornered creepy." said Zippy with a shudder.

"Coming from you, that's a compliment." said Ocean.

Ameh burst out laughing, then made a request. "Hey guys, could you please pipe down a bit? I'm trying to concentrate on where I am."

"Oops. Sorry, Ameh." said Ocean.

Unfortunately, Ameh's request started to have the opposite effect, for Zippy began singing "Jingle bells, you all smell, I will get away!"

He was answered by Chet, who'd got his breath back.

"Oh what fun it is to torture little kids all day!"

Then came a series of violent knocks. The two shelf elves moaned and were silent. The grip around their bodies tightened, and they received a vigorous shaking.

"One more word out of either of you and I'll tear you to pieces right here and now!" Ocean growled, glaring them full in the face.

Her ferocity brought about the desired effect. The two shelf elves remained silent until Ameh announced, "We're here."

Quick as a flash, Ocean squished both shelf elves in a one-handed hold, undid her seatbelt and hopped out of the car. Her door was quite definitely shut a few moments before Ameh's.

When the fairy got out of the car, she looked at Ocean's eager expression and chuckled. "I can see you're really dreading this."

Ocean grinned at Ameh and said, "So, should I hand this brat back to you?" She indicated Zippy.

"Please, do!" he said, a pleading expression on his face.

Ameh looked at Zippy for a long moment. "Oh, the expression on your face right now, makes it all worth while." she said. "No more James, so no more snotty smirk, huh?"

Zippy glared.

Ameh shook her head. "Nah, I'll just leave you with Ocean."

"I'm suffocating here!" Zippy protested.

"Couldn't happen to a nicer guy." said Ameh.

"Oh, come on," said Ocean impatiently, "Let's go."

Ameh suppressed a giggle as her elf friend hustled away with the two shelf elves. Then she ran to catch up with her. "Ocean, wait up! Wait up!"

"Hope this is the right entrance..." Ocean mumbled as she took the steps two at a time and pounded on the door with a free hand, following it up with the doorbell.

It was a few moments of waiting, which gave Ameh time to catch up. "Wow," she panted as she trudged up the steps. "You have more nerve than a skunk in a beehive."

The door opened, and, "Hello, Ameh!"

"Mrs. Claus!" the fairy smiled. "So good to see you again!"

"Please, call me Jessica." Mrs. Claus said. And who's your friend? You," she said, smiling to the taller of the two, "You must be Ocean Elf."

"That's me, pleased to finally meet you in person." With that, Ocean stepped inside.

Ameh chuckled, and hung back.

"Don't be shy, Ameh, come on in." Jessica Claus invited. "And who are these elves you have there?" She looked at the hapless Chet and Zippy.

"These are the brats Ameh said she told you about, or, at least one of them is..." said Ocean.

Ameh closed the door behind her. "Zippy, and Chet." she added.

"Come on, let's take them to Santa." said Mrs. Claus, and she led Ameh and Ocean down a hall that ran off the main entrance.

"I was in charge of Zippy, but thought it was probably better if Ocean kept an eye on him. But she's the one who found out about Chet." Ameh explained as they went along.

"Diane and NT have brought two others a while ago, and Nadine and Shawn just got in another...The one you wrote us about, Ocean, the elf who killed that little girl, Bethany, some years ago." said Mrs. Claus.

"You got him?" Ocean asked eagerly.

"Yes, but," Mrs. Claus began.

Ocean frowned. "Uh-oh...I don't like buts." she said suspiciously.

"Hopefully you won't mind this one too much. The but is this. I can't hand him over to you until after Christmas, and I doubt Santa would allow it if I asked."

"Is that really going to make a difference? That - thing - " Ocean spat, looking as if she could've called him a lot worse, "mocked Christmas the whole time he was doing harm and worse to Bethany, or so it says in what her aunt wrote."

"That's true." said Mrs. Claus.

"Or maybe he just thought he was the one having the merry Christmas." said Ameh.

Mrs. Claus's eyebrows raised.

"Eww!" Ocean exclaimed in disgust.

Mrs. Claus nodded in agreement.

Chet chortled. He was soon joined by Zippy.

"Shut up!" Ameh shouted at them.

"All the more reason to end him now!" Ocean fumed, glaring at Zippy and Chet. "And you turds as well!"

"No, Ocean," Mrs. Claus insisted. "Like all other naughty elves who are here, he will answer to Santa for his actions. But we'll have Christmas first."

"So that means he doesn't get any presents, right?" Ocean asked.

"Like I'd even care about some stupid presents." Zippy said scornfully.

"Which means you wouldn't care if any child you were assigned to, got any gifts either," said Mrs. Claus, "which means you never should've been given so much as an assembly-line job here, let alone be sent to the home of any child."

"Straight up." Ameh agreed.

Ocean smiled and nodded.

They entered a room, where Santa and NT were trying to bring Granny's Elf to some kind of life.

"Ho, ho, ho! Who have we here?" Santa smiled in recognition at seeing Ameh. He threw a warm smile at Mrs. Claus as well,. "It's Ameh Chase and - ... - "

"Santa," Jessica Claus began, "This is Ocean, and Zippy and Chet."

"Ho, ho, ho! Welcome, Ocean Elf!"

"Hi, Santa." She replied, smiling back.

"What, no welcome for us?" Zippy taunted.

"No!" Ocean shot back venomously.

"For the sake of their health," Santa indicated the naughty shelf elves, "and your place on the nice list, Ocean, let's take these two boys off your hands for now." He looked at Mrs. Claus. "Jessica, I think you and Ameh better come with me and see these two are secured."

Ameh nodded emphatically.

"Ameh, you take Zippy, and I'll take Chet." said Santa.

Ocean obliged, and handed Zippy off to Ameh.

"How goes it in here?" The Sugar Plum Fairy peered in from the hallway.

"We have all naughty elves accounted for." Santa replied. Turning to Ocean, he said, "Now, give Chet to me, Ocean."

But Ocean was reluctant to do so. She shrugged, then slowly moved Chet toward Santa's waiting hand, but drew back again.

"Ocean?" Santa encouraged.

Ocean grabbed hold of one of Chet's arms with her free hand and pulled, hard. It looked as if she wanted to rip his arm right off.

Chet winced and groaned.

"Come on, now, hand him over." Santa said.

Instead, Ocean turned Chet so that he had to look her in the eyes. She hissed, "If you managed so much as a little scratch on that child, I will come after you."

"Ocean!" Santa raised his voice, "If I have to ask again, you'll be on the naughty list!"

Ocean Elf shuddered momentarily, flushed, and flashed a baffled look at Santa, then gave Chet one last withering glare before relinquishing him into Santa's custody.

Santa smiled at Ocean. "I got word since you and Ameh picked these two up for the trip here. The little girl escaped injury from the knife, but she has been terrorized. So Chet is barred from having anything more to do with any child."

Ocean Elf relaxed, smiling and heaving a relieved sigh.

Santa smiled down at her and continued gently but solemnly, "I'm so glad you didn't force me to follow through with that naughty list threat. You had me worried. I don't want to see you on that list, Hanima Of The Waves," he said more gently, referring to her by her given name and its meaning.

Ocean Elf smiled sheepishly back, and gave a quiet chuckle. Then she turned a suspicious eye on the wooden-headed, black-eyed elf NT was holding. What about him?" she asked.

Before NT could answer, Santa cut in. "We still need to hear his story, then see if it checks out. He may have been a willing accomplice, but he may have also been innocent and forced into his role. But if it'll make you feel any better, the grandmother has been arrested and charged with child neglect and abuse, and wrongful death. The little boy will get the help he needs."

"At least that's something," said Ocean, and on her face was an expression neither NT nor Diane had seen before - sadness. Ocean looked about to burst into tears at any moment. She turned away quickly, fighting to keep her composure.

"You okay, mate?" The Sugar Plum Fairy asked, concerned.

"I wish it - " Whatever Ocean was trying to say, died away in a furious rush of choked mumble.

Santa put a hand on her shoulder. "If you're wishing it didn't happen at all, you're not the only one." he said gently.

Ocean Elf shuddered, taking in a short, sharp breath, and nodded slightly. Jessica Claus looked sympathetically on as the elf furiously dabbed a couple of tears spilling from her eyes. More kept rolling.

Chet let a giggle escape him.

Ocean Elf sobbed for a while. Santa put an arm around her to comfort and help her subside.

The others looked on, concerned.

Finally, Ocean Elf pulled herself together, and turning to Santa, she breathed, "Thanks."

Any time." he replied.

But Ocean Elf was still close to tears, and Chet's glee at her distress had not gone unnoticed by her. This made her become suddenly quite fierce. She turned a murderous gaze on Chet, and without warning, reached up in an attempt to snatch him away from Santa. "You have five seconds before I take you back and literally tear you apart!" she blustered.

Jessica Claus exchanged a knowing look with Santa as he quickly moved Chet out of Ocean's reach.

"Jessica," said Santa, "Why don't you stay here with NT and Ocean Elf?"

"Good idea." Mrs. Claus agreed.

"Time's up!" said Ocean, lunging and making another grab for Chet.

Santa moved with him out of her reach and toward the open door. For added measure, he hoisted Chet high above his head, turning him upside down. "Ameh and Diane, let's get these two out of here."

The two fairies followed Santa out and through the complex until they reached a building where the troublesome shelf elves could remain until after Christmas when they would answer for their parts in various nefarious plots, injuries or deaths.

Killer was already there, sitting dejectedly with his arms around his folded knees, in a clear glass container. Shelf magic would not restore elves like him to their normal size until after Christmas. Santa put Zippy in a Shelf box, saying he had just been reassigned to another home.

--

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