Hi. I'm Ocean Elf.
I'm about to tell you what happened to Bloody Mary, her friend Samara Summer Morgan, a fictional movie character who turned into a dealive chain letter kid, and several of their equally fictitious chain letter pals who went on a scaring spree via the Bloody Mary hoax, the Earless, Noseless Dead Kid With Knife hoax, The Girly Thug Gang, Teddy and other "forward or die" hoaxes.
These fictitious freaks loved nothing more than scaring little kids into spamming the net with their ridiculous and sometimes extremely tasteless junk, and they used fear to accomplish this.
But one day, their plans ran amok as they tried to scare the wrong person.
Once there were some trouble-makers with scary hair and blond eyes - woops, I mean, scary/red/bloodshot eyes and blonde/red/black hair, and with no ears or noses, claiming to be dead. Their names were Summer, Richard, Jenny, Teddy, Jenna and Jane.
Richard was fourteen, Summer was fifteen, in 2006. Jenny, Teddy, and Twin sisters Jane and Jenna were 7 years old...in 2004...
However many years passed, these cretins chose to keep trying to haunt people and scaring them into passing their chain letters on. It never got old for them, because they stopped developing mentally at 7, 14 and 15.
Jane: Hey, that wasn't nice!
Ocean Elf: Put a cork in it, Jane, you of all sorry little idiots, calling yourself Bloody Mary and scaring poor little kids by giving them anxiety and nightmares! Yes, I know about you and your reject friends Teddy and Jenna etc. You are detestable bullies so don't you dare whine when you get deservedly called out for it!
Richard: I'm not a cretin!
Jenny: What's a cretin?
Ocean Elf: It's another word for 'idiot'.
Teddy: I'm not an idiot!
Ocean Elf: Oh really? You're so stupid you just can't stay out of my way.
Summer: Hey, I'm not stupid enough to believe this chain letter, I just think it's hilarious how many people are!
Ocean Elf: Okay, Summer, you're either an idiot or a liar -
Richard: "Hey, don't talk to her that way!
Ocean Elf: or both. *grin forming on face* Hmmm, Richard...What's - with - you - and - Summer - anyway? Hmmmm?
The seven-year-old contingent: Woooooooooooh, they're in love! *childish squeals, giggles and guffaws*
Summer: *turning red* I REALLY DON'T LIKE YOU!
Ocean Elf: Too bad, now shut up and don't mess up this story!
Jenna: But you are messing it up!
Ocean Elf: Too bad for you, now shut up!
Jenna and Jane: *pout*
Ocean Elf: Now, where was I? Oh yeah! Ahem...
Jane and Jenna were fond of their version of the Bloody Mary hoax. They were so similar to each other that even their names would've been anagrams of each other if it weren't for Jenna's double-N, which Jane always wished she had. She always felt a bit ripped off that her sister got an extra N and she didn't. Summer was just the odd person out, in both the age and name department. Heh, heh!
These stupid freaks had one mission and -
Jane: We're not freaks!
Ocean Elf: Heh, we shall see about that in a few moments!
Chain letter people: *scowls all around*
Ocean Elf: *scowls fiercely back*
Summer: How did this wench get in here? I thought we were going to scare somebody closer to our ages!
Ocean Elf: Heh, don't you just hate when plans get ruined? Anyway...On with it.
As I was saying...These knife-wielding charmers had one mission only, to scare the pants off more people. It was how they managed to stay dealive. That's a combination of the words 'dead' and 'alive. You see, they were in fact, neither. They weren't dead because they were never alive to begin with. Yet, they lived off the scares they gave people by lying their ears and noses off.
Jenna: That's not fair! Who is this person and why is she making us look as scary as a paper bag!? She's giving it all away! Waaaaah!
Ocean Elf: Heh, heh, heh! You'll find out... *Sly grin*
So this fine lot of girls and boys threaten to appear by your bed and kill you with a knife if you don't pass their threat to fifteen people within five minutes, or post their message to five more sites, blah blah blah.
Summer: Hey, we didn't even get to you yet!
Ocean Elf: You didn't get to me yet because I sought you out first.
Jenna: Then there's no chance of scaring her, bummer.
Jane: And no chance at getting her to pass our scary story on to fifteen people either. Waaah!
Summer: Or posting it to five more sites!
Jenny: Or vids! Man, this stinks!
Ocean Elf: I haven't even warmed up yet, you'll be completely powerless in the eyes of anyone who reads about what I am going to do to you.
Summer: *moans and jaw drops a mile* Does she never scare?
Ocean Elf: No...There's nothing you can do to scare me, Summer Samara... *Drawling out the name scornfully* And as for you, Richard, taking on the name of the "big bad horse breeder" who didn't want his own kids, also very lame.
Richard: Oh, man!
Ocean Elf: It might've been a Fun plot for a movie if it didn't actually encourage belief in stupid chain letter hoaxes with this drippy lame ending where the journalist and her pal make copies of Samara's cursed video tape to send around to others in order to pass the curse around and avoid getting killed within seven days themselves. STOO-PID!
Ocean Elf: And it's absolutely ridiculous to believe in it for real!
Summer: You weren't supposed to say that!
Ocean Elf: Yeah, don't you just hate it when you stupid little freaks can't scare and control somebody, no matter 'how old they are' ? That revision of your chain for Facebook isn't going to scare the over 20 crowd any more than the previous attempt.
Anyway, the other thing that made this movie utterly stink-suck, it has a definite animal rights/welfarist anti-horse breeder propaganda twist tossed in. *Withering glare*
Richard: Whoa, what did we get ourselves into this time?"
Ocean Elf: I think that would be called 'trouble' Richie. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. *sigh* Moving along. So, Jenny, if you "live" in a cell, how can you be "dead"?
Ocean Elf: And why are you still getting beaten if you are dead?
Jenny: I - uh - I...Oyoyoyoyoyoy -
Ocean Elf: For that matter, how can you be breezing around telling people to post you to more "vids" if you're being kept in a doorless, windowless, dark cell?
Jenny: I don't know, I just thought it sounded really sad and scary!
Ocean Elf: It doesn't. It just stinks. As for the rest of you, your stories don't make sense and you can't type or spell worth beans. Not to mention that you all must be seriously ugly cusses judging by the descriptions you give yourselves.
Jane: What!? She's laughing at us!
Jenna: Not fair! I'm not ugly, I'm scary!
Summer: I think I look a little more scarier than you because of all my scars, though.
Ocean Elf: Nope, you're ugly. Well, okay, your hair is nice. Come to think of it, Summer-Samara, Richard, Teddy and Jenna, your hair smells really nice. Jane, you with the red eyes and no nose etc? You smell pretty delicious too. *sniff* Mmmmmmh hmmmm. Like...Well, I'll get to that in a bit. *licks lips*
Jenna: Let's get out of here, she's scaring me!
Ocean Elf: *Grins malevolently* Bwahahahaha.
Jane: Hold it, she hasn't seen what happened to Jessica with Bloody Mary, she'll be scared and she'll forward our chain letter then!
Ocean Elf: *scoffs* Bloooooooooodeeeeeee MmAaRrYy!
Jenna: Stop that! Jane, tell her to stop, she's freaking me out!
Jane: Freaking you out with our own stunt, c'mon, this is nuts. *shudders*
Ocean Elf: *chants Bloody Mary's name again in an even more omenous voice.
Ocean Elf: Muahahahahahaha!!
Jane and Jenna: *shriek*
Jenny: I'm not a sissy!
Ocean Elf: I'm not done with you yet, Teddy.
Teddy: *Gulpf and backs away*
Jenna: Okay, Jessica's story.
Ocean Elf: Which one? Jessica Mydek or Jessica Smith?
Jenna: I dunno, just Jessica!
Ocean Elf: But I thought you said you knew everything about her, including her full name.
Jane: WHAT THE HECK!? How did you -
Ocean Elf: I looked you guys up, you didn't find me, *omenous drawl* I - found - you...
Jenna: "I sure hope Jessica's story works, or we'll be dead!
Ocean Elf: I thought you said you were already dead.
Jane: Well um, uh...
Ocean Elf: *wicked chuckle* Now, let's have this Jessica's story.
Jenna: It's a messenger chat and what happend after.
Ocean Elf: Expect me to make comments throughout it.
Jane and Jenna: *chorusing* Oh, no!
Ocean Elf: Oh, yes.
* * *
Put off by the mangling of their chain letters, this dealive contingent of brats were stalled on the highway of evil scheming for a while, until one of them thought she would bring out the big gun, or, rather, tape and ring.
"I have something that'll be even more convincing," Summer-Samara chuckled, "A ring! And my killer video tape!"
"Hey, where did you get that?" Jenna's scary eyes bugged out.
"I'll tell you later, when we've managed to get a lot more people passing on our chain letters and get that debunker off our tail!" Summer-Samara said with a grin.
"Probably from Richard," Jenny teased.
There were more giggles at this.
"Wait a moment, there's someone we can scare into passing on our chain letters!" Teddy said, indicating another person coming into sight at her computer.
Uh-oh! Bad move, Teddy!
This person turned and looked malevolently in their direction. She stood up and approached them from the cyberspace hiding place where they were lurking.
They all felt themselves being dragged into her room.
They screamed, because they hadn't managed to get caught before now.
"Uh, Bloody Mary-Summer-Samara-Jenna-Jane, it's 'fewer' not 'lower' than 14 people. You can't even string a coherent sentence together, and you're sad if you think hitting alt4 will do anything other than exit a program. Nights may not always be quiet, but they are always dark, so your threat is not only as ridiculous as your friends or sisters' here, it's redundant as well. I'd tell the lot of you to get real, but that would be rather impossible in your case."
Jane sighed, and looked around. "Oh, not her. How do we ditch this Miss - whateverhernameis??"
"I thought she vanished when the light went out in Jessica's bathroom!" exclaimed Jenna.
The Ocean Elf laughed menacingly at them. "Everything vanished from view then, you ditzes! And now to straighten you out on a few more things...First, that email tracker thing has got to die. There's no such thing, and no such person who could create an email tracker that hunts down people who don't forward your lousy chain letters, let alone kill anyone."
"Dang it all, we've just got right in the way of that debunker and she's blown the whole thing out of the water!" Jenna wailed.
"Yeah, that email tracker thing is a bit out of date," said Summer-Samara, "everybody's doing blogs and are on Facebook and Twitter now."
"Doesn't matter. there's no such thing as a Twitter tracker, you twit." Ocean Elf said, looking right at Summer-Samara. "Following isn't the same."
"I'm not a twit!" Summer-Samara protested.
"I'm just getting warmed up, blowing your bullying hoaxes to bits." the elf hissed.
Jenna had another idea as she spied the mirror door closet. "There's a mirror, let's try to go through that."
It didn't work. All she succeeded in doing was crashing loudly into the mirror.
The Ocean Elf suddenly became cross. Glaring at Jenna, she said, "Break that mirror and you'll have to clean it up, and buy me a new one! And you can't get out through any of my mirrors, because you can't scare me.." Before the dealive contingent could think to make a dash for the door, the elf went over and shut it, trapping them all in the room with her.
The computer playlist faded out with "Your Love Oh Lord" and "Hotel California" began.
Jane gasped and shuddered. "Oh, no! Not that song!" she whimpered.
The elf responded gleefully. "Ah - hahahahahaha! How appropriate! Welcome to my place, girls and boys! And how can you hear the song without your ears?"
Oh, this is so NOT COOL!" Richard complained. He tried the door, but it wouldn't budge. He cussed, then tried to get away via his ring. That didn't work either.
The Ocean Elf grinned from ear to ear. ""Okay," she began, "first, Jane and Jenna...You two little short-stuffs totally botched your own ritual, which can't work even if it was done right. It's bull. But what you did wrong to make you look like complete newbs too eager to scare someone? I'll tell you."
Argh, I wish Bloody Mary really would come and shut her up, don't you, Jenna?" Jane whined.
The elf only continued. "You didn't wait for Jessica to get a candle and light it. You didn't wait for her to turn the light out then and say "Bloody Mary" several times. You thought you'd be more frightening this way. And from the looks of Jessica, she wouldn't really have been idiot enough to carry it out, even if she was having a bit of a freak-out moment."
"At least I had nothing to do with that." said Summer-Samara.
"I don't care," the elf said coldly, scowling at Summer-Samara, "You're still playing the same game, and people are falling for it."
"What game?" Summer-Samara asked.
The elf rolled her eyes at her. "Cut the innocent act." Turning on Jenny the redhead, her attitude suddenly became very cross. "And you!" she scowled at Jenny, "Accusing someone, your mother of beating and locking you in a cell, where did you get the idea for that bogus sad story? From Amy Bruce?
Jenny turned away in a vain attempt to hide from the elf.
It didn't work.
Well?" the elf stepped toward her.
"I just wanted to put something in my letter that wasn't in all the others." Jenny said.
Ocean Elf narrowed her eyes.
"Uh-oh, I think we're in trouble." said Teddy.
My, but you're quick on the draw, Teddy." she replied.
Teddy moved closer to Jenny, she reached out and grabbed his hand.
"Looks like the lovebug's got the kiddies too." Ocean Elf said, grinning.
"Ewwwww!" Teddy and Jenny both exclaimed and immediately stepped away from each other as if they were infected with something nasty.
If fear didn't work on this mean person, maybe an appeal would, or so Jane thought. "So we couldn't scare you. We didn't hurt you, so we should go now."
The Ocean Elf chuckled and grinned broadly. "Oh, you mustn't think of it. Things are about to get exciting."
Jenna started panicking. "We got to get out of here!"
Summer-Samara touched her ring and muttered some words, but nothing happened. "What!? Stupid ring, get me out of here!"
The Ocean Elf just laughed.
Jane became frantic. "Stop that! Please stop! We just wanted to thrive another night and scare somebody!"
"And you have." said Ocean Elf sternly. "You scared Michelle,Annalise, Louise, Thomas, and Jessica into passing on your chains, every version equally dumb and equally bogus. And the rest of you somehow coerced people into spamming a site with yours. And don't get me started on how you've managed to target and frighten countless little kids into passing on your pile of bullcrap by faking up little testimonials."
Jenna, feeling offended, tried to stave off her own fear. "It isn't dumb!"
Ocean Elf remained unimpressed. "It is dumb. Anyway, you go around creeping people out and you dare to get offended with me? you're gonna pay for making terrors and pests of yourselves, starting now."
Jane whimpered, "Please stop that song, it's giving me the creeps!"
"Well, what comes 'round, goes 'round, as who was it - your friend Timothy Flyte, or maybe David Darren Bucklew Hendrix etc.? Well, one of your bogus sick friends told you when they tried to get themselves and their story passed along." said the elf.
Jenna tried once again to make an appeal. "But we don't think your dumb or scarable, so please let us go."
Ocean Elf was unmoved. "What you think of me isn't the issue. Here, lemme get a closer look at you guys." She said mysteriously, approaching the huddling chain letter children as they continued trying to will themselves through the closet mirror and out via chain letter ring.
Hotel California gave way to Tempest's Byker Hill.
"Ah, haha! Perfect!" the elf exulted. "Now, let the fun begin!"
The entire dealive chain hoax contingent cried out as the Ocean Elf took away their knives. It was a surprisingly easy task, and in a few moments, the reason was revealed.
"Oh, yeah, you were really gonna nail people with these things," she laughed derisively. "Little plastic knives with foil over them to make them look like the real thing, and that stuff ain't even real blood. One is ketchup and the other *sniff* Mmmmm. As I was saying, you blond, red-eyed wonders smell good enough to eat."
"Oh, no, the jig's up now." Jenna whispered to Jane.
"Hey, give that back!" Summer-Samara hollered as the elf tackled her, making her give up her knife.
The elf tossed the knives on the desk, but didn't let Summer-Samara go just yet.
The ring actually tore as Summer-Samara struggled. "Oh no!" Summer-Samara wailed.
"Wow, you expected this flimsy little piece of wire you call a ring was going to make people send around your stupid little chain, or get you out of a fix?"
"You broke it! You broke my ring!" Summer-Samara whined.
"That's not the only thing about to break." the Ocean Elf said menacingly, pressing Summer-Samara against the side of the bed.
Summer-Samara shrieked and struggled, but the elf wrenched something else off her person. A video.
"NOOOOOOO!" Summer-Samara howled.
Ocean Elf released her, and set to work destroying the tape.
Summer-Samara tried to grab the elf, and take the tape away from her, but got decked savagely in the head with it for her effort. She shrieked, apparently in pain and helplessness.
Another few moments, the sounds of plastic components being loosened and roughly cracked apart, more screams from Summer-Samara, and finally, Ocean Elf tossed the now wrecked tape case with some of the tape wripped out, onto the floor. Then she really got to work destroying the tape, jumping on it to break the casing even more, stomping and kicking it around.
For a while, the violent sounds of breakage and smashing of the tape, and Summer-Samara's agonized cries went on, but they eventually subsided.
Summer-Samara sagged back on the bed, Richard slumped to the floor on the other side of the room. Both of them were moaning weekly as the curse and their power was now gone.
Ocean Elf kicked the broken tape under a dresser, then gave Summer-Samara and then Richard each a merciless glance. "Nice makeup job, Summer-Samara and Richard, too bad for you you didn't get those scars tattooed instead."
"Summer, Richard, where are your scars?" Teddy shrilled.
Neither could answer. They were becoming more transparent, losing color fast, as they faded away.
"What the heck did you do to them, Miss?!?" Jane squealed.
What just happened!? You killed them!" Jenna exclaimed, she had been watching in horror along with the others the whole time.
"Yeah, well, they were stupid to bind their existence to a supposedly cursed tape." Ocean Elf snarled malevolently.
"You - killed them!?" Jenna repeated.
"And hopefully your hold on anyone else you try to scare into forwarding this junk!" the elf replied firmly. With Summer-Samara and Richard now gone, she turned her attention back to the other frightened and huddling chain letter pranksters.
We gotta get out of here! Now!" Jenny began panicking.
Inexplicably, everything went quiet for a while. No one moved. The chain letter bullies couldn't move. They felt themselves being weakened and drained, and each of them could do nothing as the Ocean Elf gripped,pressed, tugged, yanked them. They felt and heard her warm breath and churning tongue. They had finally met their own nightmare, feeling their scary red eyes and hair, blonde or dark, and cherry colored faces being quickly, mercilessly, consumed
After some time, the Ocean Elf heaved a satisfied sigh, and said, "I guess I might let you go now, but before I do, you wanna look at yourselves in the mirror again?
"OMG! Jane, where are your eyes!" And I don't have any more hair! Neither do you, Teddy!" Jenna squealed.
"Oh no! I'm bald!" Teddy wailed.
Mmmm-hmmmm." the elf purred. "...Blonde Cotton candy hair, and that cherry drink or unset jell-o, whatever you used in your squibby red eyes, those things tend to get eaten around here, and you guys taste great."
The dealive contingent screamed.
"Now," the Ocean elf laughed. "good luck trying to scare anyone else with your bald heads, Jenna and Teddy. Jane, you might try using chocolate to get a nice pair of brown eyes next time And when you do, by all means, come back here so I can check them out as well. Jenny, you should try for a pretty pair of blue or green eyes. That would be blueberry or lime. Mmmmmm! You're more than welcome to return with those and let me check them out too."
The girls cried and Teddy cussed because their appearances had been changed from scary to pathetic, they were without their fake but supposedly scary looking knives, without Summer-Samara's fake ring and killer video, without Summer-Samara and Richard as well, and absolutely pwned. They were powerless and found out for the frauds they were.
one by one, they along with their egos shrunk away into nothing.
"Now, Bloody Mary," the Ocean Elf said ominously, "I know you're hiding around here somewhere."
Sure enough, Mary had been hiding, hoping she would be overlooked and manage to make an escape.
She thought she had managed it until she felt herself propelled through time and space. she had managed to make up another hoax chain about a girl named Sara, who she killed in the story. Then she made up another extremely tasteless one about herself getting bullied and tortured. She fired off another couple of tales, one about herself as a baby being stabbed and buried as a baby. Another about getting acid in her face.
A voice startled her out of her thoughts. Mary jumped, looking up nervously in response.
Back for more mangling, I see."
"What - how did I end up - oh, no! It can't be!" Mary wailed.
"Oh, yes, it is me again - remember me, Mary?
Mary's response was a deer in the headlights look.
"You're going to get a little of your own medicine. People who make false accusations of abuse, need to be treated as if they committed that abuse! Now, RUN!"
Mary tried to run, and found she couldn't move.
Run, Mary, run!" the Ocean Elf jeered at her. All the while, Mary kept getting dashed against walls, doors, fences, vehicles as her nightmare continued. While she felt as if she couldn't move her legs, everything else around her was moving, coming straight for her.
Mary couldn't do anything to get out of this crazy scene, and it only stopped when she finally got thrown into a ditch, winded.
The next thing she was aware of was someone holding her. Mary opened her eyes to look pitifully up at the person, then was hit with a wave of panic.
"You wanted people injured for not sending your chain letter to enough recipients, now you know what that would feel like. having fun yet, Mary?"
I didn't want to injure anyone!" she pleaded. "It was all just a little scare!"
Whether you meant it or not, you see where it got you in trouble?"
Mary only managed a weak moan.
The Ocean Elf searched Mary and took away her tin foil knife. Then, she dragged her off somewhere to drain her squibs of cherry Jell-o. Whatever else she did to Mary, left the bullying hoax girl with nothing but barely a shadow if that, and Mary melted away just as the other dealives had.
Ocean Elf returned to her computer to wrap up the story and put another music entry in her Youtube.
But sometimes stories turn into series or must be added to, as is the case with dealive kids continuing to crop up on the net with more chain mutations, needing to be mangled.
after what was probably thought to be a long enough hibernation from whizzing around in chain letters, scaring people, Jane foolishly started another one about herself. This time, she planned to out-do all the others and scare more people, more intensely than her fellow dealives.
She was delighted when it worked, but that excitement soon turned to something altogether different.
Further down the page came an answer from her mangler!
Jane couldn't believe it! She thought with the Smith Sisters, Carmen Winstead, Clarissa, Jerry, Kathy, Ofelia and Jaime Heras, and so many other dealive freaks out there, that elf would've forgotten about her.
"Thought you could pull that again?"
Jane looked up in dismay to see Ocean Elf advancing on her, the same way she had done before.
How did you - I don't get it!" Jane squealed.
I don't know who you think you're kidding with that no arms and legs bit." Ocean Elf scoffed.
People are stupid, they'll believe anything." Jane said. "But that isn't my fault."
It is your fault when you use their naivety or gullibility to scare them into clogging up the net with your junk so you can feel powerful and get a haw-haw at their expense! I thought I told you that last time you charged into my house with your reject cohorts like bulls in a china shop."
Jane huffed at the description, and tried another tactic. "But I haven't done anything since then, until now."
I don't care. You wanted to have no arms and legs, and now you will. Only it isn't your fictitious Daddy causing it."
Jane gaped, but that was all she could do. She was immobilized, as if under a local anesthetic.
Then, one by one, Jane's arms came off, then her legs. she just fell apart, revealing the truth about herself. She wasn't a scary ghost kid at all. She was just a big cyber confection, nothing more than a crumbling cookie, another virtual item from the cyber junk heap to be deleted.
"Hey! How could you do this to me!?"
"I didn't, you did." said the elf, kneeling to pick up the light weight cyber-marshmallow appendages to haul them away. "You did that with your chain letter. I'll be back for the rest of you." With that, she stalked off, leaving Jane to regret starting another chain letter.
Jane was realizing the same thing as the other dealive chain freaks. They would never be free from the meme-mangler as long as their chain letters kept circulating and mutating.. There was always going to be a chance they would get discovered by a mangler. The more they spread, the greater the chance.
So just remember this. These chain letter characters are as unthreatening and as nonexistent as your favourite food tastes good to you. If you imagine them as candy people operated by mechanics rather than ghosts just waiting to end you, that should help you get over your fear of these chain letters.