🤦🏽‍♀️ 🧝‍♀️


To Every Girl

🧝‍♀️The first mutation was from back in the Myspace era, and the second claims to be from Zayn Malik of the boy band One Direction. Naturally, directioner fangirls just lap it up and pass it on.

I honestly can't imagine any guy subjugating himself to this extent, not even to please a throng of swooning fangirls. I would never subjugate myself in a similar fashion to prop up the male gender as some special class of human to be worshiped as the only ones capable of human feeling just for being male.

This chain in all its mutations screams of Mary Sue personality, wanna-be-princess, boyband/fictional character crushing fangirl authorship.


🙇Chain2: “This is for girls who have the tendency to stay up at night listening to music that reminds them of their current situation.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm always doing that especially since I need to practice a fair chunk of that music for my job. :p Yeah, you're already failing to turn me into a mushy gush.

🙇Chain2: The girls who wear their heart on their sleeve.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Not my style.

👸Chain1: To every girl that is SCARED to put her HEART out there again, because she has been HURT too many times or so BADLY.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Well, that's what life is like! You get hurt. You need to learn to deal with it, because the world will keep on turning without you. Learn to move on!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Don't jump into the fire until you're sure you're ready to handle the risks.

🙇Chain2: The girls who have so many secrets but wont tell a soul.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well then they wouldn't be secrets, would they? So you got a secret. fine. Keep it. I don't care.

👸Chain1: To every girl that has been CHEATED on, because she's NOT a SLUT who gives it up to any guy.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Well, if this guy is such a man-slut anyway, dump him! That kind of garbage should be kicked to the curb.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If the guy cheats on you because you won't sleep with him, he's just an over-sexed jerk not worth as much as a glance let alone being cried over. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

👸Chain1: To every girl that dresses CUTE not SKANKY.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Good for you. Welcome to the rest of the human race that dresses sensible.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Good. You dress skanky, you probably are.

👸Chain1: To every girl who wants to be called BEAUTIFUL...not HOT

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Lemme guess, if someone you really care about and he really cares about you calls you hot, you'll drop him like he's nothing, right? At any rate, beware the guys you layer on the compliments before you even really know 'em.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for the love! Just stop with the "beautiful" already! Believe it or not, your life does not depend on if some sap calls you beautiful. At least, it shouldn't. If you are so hung up on being "beautiful" get some kind of a life and a personality.

And this is for the more sensible of us out there:

tell anyone who calls you "hot" to take a hike. And remember, "beautiful" is just a more pc way of saying "hot" so it's not all that much of a compliment coming from some hormonal drip. Be wary if he calls you "beautiful" unless you are already close.

👸Chain1: To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect present for YOU.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uhm...I've spent an evening looking for presents for friends, but I've never spent an entire day for one person! And with your personality, you'd probably take that as an insult.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Stop obsessing, it's creepy! If you're going to spend the whole freaking day just to buy him the perfect present, what if it turns out not to be so perfect for him after all? How would you handle that? Or for that matter, anything else life hands you that's a little more urgent?

👸Chain1: To every girl who gets her heart BROKEN, because he chose that stupid girl/b***h instead.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Right, and you probably didn't have a problem with this girl until your loser boyfriend took a fancy to her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Get over it and move on. Was she such a "stupid b***h/girl" before the guy you wanted got interested in her? Probably not, so, who is the "stupid b***h/girl" then, huh?. Is he worth all that fussing if he's not even interested in you? Let go.

🙇Chain2: The girls that never win.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Never win what? If this is your attitude, you surely will never win. who wants to be around a self-pitying drama-queen?

👸Chain1: To every girl that would DIE to have a DECENT boyfriend.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh...obsessive much?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Get a life, get a hobby, get out more often, find something other than boys to spend your time on. It won't kill you not to have a boyfriend and if you're this desperate, you're probably far too clingy, and you need to get yourself together so you won't go to pieces every time a relationship doesn't pan out.

👸Chain1: To every girl who would JUST ONCE like to be treated like a PRINCESS!!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're not a princess, so dry up and act in a way that will get you respect for the person you are. I never did understand girls and women with this fantasy.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Sheehs, what is it with everyone wanting to be treated like a princess? You aren't one, so deal with it!

👸Chain1: To every girl that cries at night because of another HEARTBREAK

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: When are you ever gonna learn to quit falling for every chump that comes along and whispers sweet nothings to you?

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Like I said, the world will keep on turning. Get over it.

🙇Chain2: The girls who sceam and cry to their pillows because everyone else fails to listen.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well maybe if they actually had something worth listening to besides "OMGZ he doesn't love me, my life is so over!" I mean really, another day another crush for these chain letter chicks…

🙇Chain2: The girls who have mistakes and regrets as a daily moral.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Welcome to the human race! Sheesh! But life doesn't consist just of mistakes and regrets, and yes a large part of that does depend on the choices you make. Deal with it. we all have to.

👸Chain1: To every girl that WONT get down on her knees and open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Good!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Way to go! That kind of guy is nothing but trash and it would be better if he got himself caught in a pool drain, that might fix him for a while.

👸Chain1: To every girl that just wants to HOLD HANDS

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What if the guy doesn't like holding hands? Does that automatically make him a horrible gutterbrain? According to you, it does.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Get a back-scratcher and hold its hand then.

👸Chain1: To every girl that kisses him with meaning.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Don't rush it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Take it slow.

👸Chain1: To every girl who just wishes he CARED MORE

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Since moping and whining about it will do SO MUCH...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Stop pining, you won't change him. Accept it or move on to another guy who's the more caring type. Better still, do something about your own issues and self image so you won't be so crushed when the next one acts not caring enough for you.

👸Chain1: To every girl who would JUST ONCE want a guy to give their JACKET UP when they are cold.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *sigh* Look, chivalry is dead. If a guy wants to give you his jacket, he will. But don't expect him to.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Argh!

Please - the age of chivalry is long since over! Quit with the poor little damsel in distress thing and get your own darn jacket! Why should he have to go without a jacket and freeze for you? Do you get a kick out of making some guy suffer? Is that how you determine if he's caring enough for you? For goodness sake, have enough sense to dress appropriately for the weather!

👸Chain1: To every girl who just wants him to call.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Right, and I bet you cry a river if he doesn't. Obsessive...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It's not the end of the world if he doesn't.

👸Chain1: To every girl who lies awake at night THINKING about HIM 🙇Chain2: The girls that stay up all night thinking about that one boy and hoping that he'll notice her one day.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Find something to do until you fall asleep. Oh heck, better yet, GET A LIFE!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, you could count sheep to fall asleep too, you know...

👸Chain1: To every girl that just wants to cuddle.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Get a stuffed animal.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Buy yourself a teddybear or get a pet.

👸Chain1: To every girl that just wants to sleep with him without HAVING SEX

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: If he's such a gutterbrain, dump him! Besides, you shouldn't go sharin' your bed with a guy you aren't married to.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Let's see...You could wait until you know him well enough to be married and by then you should be past the heart throb stage and into the secure, mutual love a relationship is supposed to be, and not have that problem. Or if he's turned out to be a real pig who just doesn't take your feelings into consideration and wants it all the time, you could leave him. Nobody should ever bee forced or feel obligated or coerced or compelled into having sex when they don't want to, and that goes for spouses just as much as any other. If you don't want to leave your spouse over this, you could slip something in his sherry so that he's too zoned out to do anything but sleep when he crawls in with you. Better still, you could avoid the possibility of the problem arising altogether and Forget the guy and get a pet.


🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What, do you need to be reminded every second how absolutely magnificent you are? Sheesh, it's that kind of selfish attitude that just ruins things!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Dry up already! you're not supposed to expect anything in return anyway With your sense of entitlement, it's little wonder you fail at relationships. - that selfish attitude is the cause of so many problems!

👸Chain1: To every girl that thought "maybe this one could be the one."

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah, that's life. Get over it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's the way the cookie crumbled. Oh well, pick yourself up and carry on.

👸Chain1: To every girl that believes in her dreams.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Depends on the dream. Follow it, if it's a good one.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Follow them within reason.

👸Chain1: To every girl that would do anything so she could achieve those dreams.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That could be amazing, or absolutely disastrous, depending on what they are and what kind of person you are.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Again, depends on the dream. If you had a dream of world domination, you can see how that would get ugly.

👸Chain1: To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually doesn't think it is funny.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uhm...yeah, why? Why laugh if it isn't funny? Oh, right...because you're either a two-face or stupid.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're either two-faced or an idiot or have some other issues and I don't want to know you.

Oh, I found an article when looking for something else, and it turns out to be about this very thing. Humour in women VS. men.

The article went into this thing about how jokes and laughter is supposedly some kind of flirty thing, where guys tell jokes to try getting girls laughing and therefore, interested in them, while girls laugh around guys to show they are interested. What the? Guess I better be careful not to laugh too much around guys so they don't get the wrong idea.

It went into how guys fail more spectacularly at humour, and how it tends to be rougher, more vulgar than that of a girl. Not if we're talking about Tina Fey or Kathy Griffin.

Basically it concluded that guys crack more jokes because they're encouraged to, while women don't so much because they're told or they think they can't be funny.

I think it's crap, but it could explain why some guys threw monumental hissies when I hated their stupid dirty-minded attempts at jokes.

Once, when I was but a net newbie, I had an unpleasant experience where some creep emailed me a dirty joke about a toothbrush. I didn't appreciate it and let him know.

He got buttburned over it and kept sending me junk until I found ways to block him.

Much later on, I was looking around on Youtube, and watched some other creep totally lose it when he made up a disgusting joke. When it got the rightly cold reception it deserved, he got completely unhinged and went totally bonkers! Soon, he was tossing f-bombs and "Whatever!" "What do you want from me?" "I don't know why you wouldn't like it, it was a joke!" What a cry-baby.

It was a horrible excuse of a joke that went like this, and remember, he was directing this at a woman who was considering making some kind of reaction video about yet another woman.

😈Proffessor2000: Geeeet her! Go on ahead and Get her. Rip off her clothes. Yank that bra off; Annihilate them panties.... roll around in the jello and...


What were we talking about?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* A rape joke. Or at the very least, a sexual molestation joke. Whether or not he would actually physically commit this himself is beside the point. This is not funny. Sexual assault is no laughing matter. And that he imagined this going girl on girl and expressed this fantasy to a woman without even knowing what her sexual orientation is.


That channel was supposed to be opposition to feminism. Instead, it was filled with MGTOW, commenters who were doing everything to live up to the horrible blanket statements feminists make about men. These losers value money, sex, and appearance over and above anything else. They look at women as nothing more than sex objects. Then they whinge about how they were supposedly used and mistreated by women. But if this is how they act, they deserve to be left high and dry without any friends, at all, men or women.

But they are not a fair representation of the male gender as a whole. They are just anti-feminists, as annoying and useless as anti-chains are for opposing chain letters, and much more vile.

Now, getting back to you, the chain letter originator, is this so-called professor's spew the kind of stupid stuff you were referring to that you laugh at when you think it isn't funny?

🙇Chain2: Who hide their fears,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And hope that spreading chain letters is a safe way to show those fears I suppose? *Rolling eyes*

I'm more interested in overcoming rather than show/hide when it comes to fears.

🙇Chain2: hurt, pain

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: everyone but sociopaths experience hurt/pain, same thing BTW, there was absolutely no need to be so redundant.

🙇Chain2: and tears under the smiles, laughs and giggles on a daily basis.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: ah yes, I'm always laughing so hard that I produce tears, so no hiding there. My laughter doesn't hide sorrow. When I laugh or cry out of sadness, it's always real, always. when I am not happy, I do NOT smile! Anyone who knows me, knows that.

👸Chain1: To every girl who is just looking for that one and only. and is having a rough time along the way.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's life. Get used to it. Either you'll find him eventually or you won't. Not the end of the world either way.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: And you know what, you may never find him. You might, but don't expect it to be all sunshine and daisies.

👸Chain1: To every girl that DOESN'T WANT a guy who JUST PLAYS WITH HER EMOTIONS but actually cares about how she feels.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Doesn't everyone? And this cuts both ways, girlie. If you don't want a guy who just plays with your emotions, don't play on his either. For instance, don't go out in -10 weather without a jacket and expect him to give up his.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Well, DUH! No one wants to have his/her emotions played like a harp! Practice what you preach!

👸Chain1: To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Doesn't everyone?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Good for you, but remember to practice what you preach.

👸Chain1: To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: No one likes to be duped, but you have to get over it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You have to work through it and carry on just like the millions of others out there in the same situation.

👸Chain1: To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Well, if he was such a jerk, you're better without him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're better off without him anyway, work it through, carry on, and forget him.

🙇Chain2: For the girls who love with all their heart although it always gets broken.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: too bad. Live and learn. Girls aren't the only ones who love and get broken hearts…

🙇Chain2: To girls who think it's over.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It probably is…Or should be in the case of this chain letter!

👸Chain1: To every girl that has faith that "tomorrow will be a better day." And it will be.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yes - if you can find it in yourself to let go of whatever guy's making you so miserable.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Well, that's a good attitude, but with the way you act, I doubt it applies to you!

🙇Chain2: The girls who pray that things will work out just once and they'll be satisfied.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What kind of working out are you talking about? What kind of satisfied? Nothing works out all the time, no one is satisfied all the time, that's just life. Everybody wants things working out, everybody wants satisfaction, not just your favourite people "the girls".! Just putting that out there!

🙇Chain2: The girls who take life as it comes,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You know, not just girls do that - it's a pretty good attitude - for both genders!

🙇Chain2: to the girls who are hoping that it'll get better somewhere down the road.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Um like haven't we already plodded down that path somewhere in the above? Oh that's right, we did…

🙇Chain2: To real girls,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, brother! If you're not a girl, you're a boy, so why don't you just admit you're hopelessly gender-biased?

🙇Chain2: to all girls:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because the guys just don't matter at all to you as far as feelings go. *Scowl*

🙇Chain2: You're beautiful.”-Zayn Malik

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, cram it! I seriously doubt anybody from the boy band One Direction actually wrote mutation 2 of this tripe, though I will grant it is likely he may have passed it along in order to please the fangirls, and ended up having this bilge misattributed to him. That's a very common occurrence in Chainland.

👸Chain1: *If you are a nice girl repost this as: "To every girl."

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Sheesh, so I'm a horrible person if I don't spread this around? Bull!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What the!? So, if I don't repost this self-pitying piece of bilge as is, that means I'm not a nice girl? Gee, somebody's sure confusing extreme high-maintenance with niceness. I call that scary!

🙍‍♂️Chain1: *If you are a guy that thinks every girl should try to think about even a few of these things repost it as "I'm looking for this girl"

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: H'm, so anyone looking for a clingy, obsessive creep? Yeah, sounds like a real winner...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? Why would a guy want a girl on the rebound with tons of baggage and such a "Take care of poor little me, I'm your one and only princess!" attitude? If I was a guy, I'd run the other way!

🙍‍♂️Chain1: or if u have this girl repost this as " I have this girl

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And insult the girl you're taken with by implying she is this needy, clingy, pathetic sap? I don't think so! Insult yourself as well, because the girl in this thing is still looking for Mr. Right for the most part and you're not him? Hardly!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Hahahahaha! Wow, so you want a girl that is constantly looking for someone better? Wow, that must make you feel great! She also thinks you're a cheater, a gutterbrain, oh, a whole load of other horrid things! Yeah, congratulations on getting that girl!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Over and out!


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