Ousting the Empress!

By Ocean Elf and LJ James

Empress Katzy wants to be Kayin's wife and Eiji's girlfriend, or - well, wife to one and gf to the other. She hates Emi, the canon girlfriend of Eiji.

Other than the Mary Sue girl Empress Katzy, Indy is the only non-Toshinden character.

Kayin and Eiji are written by LJ, and other canon characters are shared between LJ and Ocean Elf.

(Edited for language, Katzy and LJ could get a bit salty at times, and likely those characters did in the canon for all I know.

* * *

Indy: Let's start with her silly main page.

Katzy: Nani o?

Indy: Huh?

Katzy: Areeeeee.....^_^;;

Indy: What the heck's that supposed to be? *rolls eyes irritably*

Kayin: What the...hex?!

Eiji: It sounds like a moose in heat.

Katzy: Why does this have to be MY job...?

Tracy: What, to be a moron?

Indy: Lol

Emi: You could always pack it in, you know.

Kayin: Amen! *claps*

Eiji: Hehe!

Katzy: Kayin says that you made a wrong turn, and that you're a "bloody moron".

Kayin: When the heck did I say that?

Cupido: Only in her sad little mind.

Emi: *snickers*

Eiji: Beats me. I don't get it.

Master: I don't want it.

Kayin: That makes two of us.

Tracy: I don't get it either and if anything, that wacked out fangirl is the bloody moron.

Indy: Noooooo kidding! Like sheesh, look at that stupid pile of infantile crap, the dreadful "Death to Emi!" *splutters* Crap, the girl's actually jealous of one cartoon character over another! *rolling eyes* If that isn't all out wacked in the head, I don't know what is. like, puhleeeeze! Grow up!

Kayin: Here! Here!

Tracy: You got that right!

Eiji: That girl has problems.

Emi: *chuckles*

Katzy: (Don't worry, I'll get him back for that later ^_~)

Kayin: *splutters* What?!

Eiji: *snickers* What a joke.

Indy: Well, I'm not laughing.

Kayin: What a bloody doofus! Some people just need to get a hobby.

Indy: And a life.

Eiji: And don't forget counselling.

Cupido: Bwhaha, that too!

Eiji: Hehe!

Katzy: Click on him, and he'll take you to where you want to be: The Eiji Shinjo & Kayin Amoh Tribute Page, o'course! ^_^ And I'm sure he'll behave... :)

Emi: Whatever. *rolls eyes* Fangirl twit.

Uranus: Lol, wow, that's pathetic.

Kayin: Make me behave?! Oh, please!

Eiji: Is she in for a rude awakening. *snickers*

Katzy: Toshinden Always and Forever!

Kayin: Yeah, sure thing. Just do me a big favor and stay the heck away from me, you delusional nut case!

Eiji: I guess that restraining order from the police didn't work?

Indy: Lol!

Kayin: *sighs* Why me?

Indy: Heh, who knows? I really don't get it either.


Now, it's on to her kooky index page.

Katzy: The Eiji Shinjo & Kayin Amoh Tribute Page

Toshinden Always and Forever!

Indy: Oh, brother. I can't tell you how tired I got of seeing that phrase plastered all over her site!

Katzy: [flame.gif] The Eiji Shinjo & Kayin Amoh Tribute Page [flame.gif] [gb_Eiji.gif] * catering to the die-hard Toshinden fan since 1998 * [gb_Kayin.gif] Irasshaimase!! [Welcome!!] (sorry, this page is English only)

Indy: Bull crap it is. Does she really expect people to be impressed by her use of a Japanese to English dictionary and write in this crazy otaku mix of English and Japanese? That's being done to death by all these annoying fangirls. Please...

Katzy: Our heroes!

Indy: Oh, calm down!

Katzy: Konnichiwa mina-san, hi everyone, douzo yoroshiku! I'm the Empress Katzy of Toshinden (or just Katzy for short), the infamous and insane Empress of Toshinden Otakus. I be a crazy obsessed nutcase fan of the video game series Toh Shin Den / Battle Arena Toshinden, and as the Empress of TSD Fans, I welcome you to the Net's biggest and most popular Toshinden page, The Eiji & Kayin Tribute Page! This happy peiji is dedicated to both the worship of the two Gods of the Battle Arena, Eiji Shinjo and Kayin Amoh, as well as anything and everything Toshinden for fan enjoyment ^_^ Here at this page, there's three main sections you can choose from, depending on your preferences: The Hall of Eiji and Kayin Worship (where I, as the Eiji Shinjo no Miko [Priestess of Eiji Shinjo], will guide you through everything on our beloved main boys), Empress Katzy's Toshinden Otaku Place (anything and everything for the die-hard Toshinden fan -- prepare for assimilation!), and Katzy's Subspace o' Oddness, aka My Personal Section (if you want to learn more about this site's webmistress, but beware of random explosions and unnecessary spouts of weirdness ^_~). So have fun, enjoy your stay, come back soon, and don't forget to bow before you leave! ^_^ Toshinden Always and Forever!

Indy: Oh, puh-leeeeeeze!!! Worshiping cartoon characters! Expecting people to bow down to the mighty empress - NOT!

This "no miko" stuff is something else that's terribly annoying. Talk about overkill! It makes no sense when used in an English sentence. What's a miko, and why should there be no miko? Why are these geeks so proud of having or being no miko? Why isn't anyone saying "yes miko?" Please. It really does look stupid on what's supposed to be an English page. Why is it that all these fangirls pride themselves on being such obsessed nutcases? They are insane, they worship cartoons, and they can't decide which language they want to use.

Notice how she loves to be 'random' in her explosions of insanity? Show me a fangirl who is sane, and hasn't got some sort of 'random" thing going and I'll show you a blue moon. This 'randomness' is so common now it's no longer random. You can expect to see randomness on most fangirl pages and journals.

This girl doesn't appear to grasp the concept of the paragraph, either.

Then there's the title crap, the Empress. *rolling eyes* You saw it, she called herself "The Empress" and demands you bow before her. Good grief! That's another huge problem with fangirls like her, enormous ego!

Katzy: [ This page is now CLOSED. ]

Indy: So why is it still here then?

Katzy: (Read the message from the Empress here.)

Indy: Collection of links, the usual disclaimers, and:

Katzy: Toshinden Always and Forever!!

Indy: *rolling eyes* There she goes again!

Oh, and the quote at the end of her page. That's another thing these fangirls are heavily into, posting quotes. Other normal people do that too, but not as much. It's like everything she and those fangirl twits do is done to the extreme, carried way overboard, and they all have the same really irritating habits.


Now, onto one of her worst pages, the "Death to Emi"

Katzy: death to Emi!!

Katzy's Emi-Death Page!

Kayin: A hate page about Eiji's girlfriend?! *snorts and rolls eyes* Give me a friggin' break!

Indy: Here! here!

Eiji: This sorry excuse of a webpage is a sick joke...the pits!

Tracy: Very immature and lame, if you ask me.

Indy: Not to mention stupid and unoriginal. Typical fangirl tantrum crap.

Kayin: Yeah, typical redundant boring crap from some kid who has the hots for Eiji.

Eiji: This coming from the same Mary Sue fangirl who calls herself Kayin's wife. what a nut.

Emi: Mary Sue alert!

Kayin: Hehe!

Tracy: Oh, no! Not again!

Indy: Not just any Mary Sue, more like Senna Marie Alert!! That's a particularly nasty Mary Sue if any of you read the Mary Sue page.

Tracy: Oh, gads! Thats even worse!

Emi: Oh, no! Run for your lives!

Cupido: Hahahahaha!

Tracy: *LOL*

Katzy: ...Ah, welcome fellow Emi-hater! This is a mini anti-page that's dedicated completely to the complete and utter slandering of Eiji Shinjo's "girlfriend" (more commonly known as Eiji Shinjo's Ugly Skanky Ho-B—h), Emi.

Emi: Excuse me!?

Indy: *rolls eyes in disgust at the webmistress's total lack of maturity and self-control* Oh, please!!

Eiji: Man, talk about being idiotic! How dare this twit bad mouth her!? The nerve! there will be heck to pay. No real man is gonna tolerate that treatment of his girl!

Tracy: Way to go, Eiji!

Indy: She didn't have to use the word "complete" twice in the same sentence. But you know stupid little fangirls, they're so pathetically redundant.

Kayin: Or just slow.

Eiji: I wouldn't be surprised.

Emi: Yes, she's got a really ugly mind.

Tracy: What there is of it...

Uranus: Hehe!

Indy: Yeah, I guess jealousy and hormone overdrive for these cartoons would be enough to burn brain cells like kindling.

Kayin: Bwhahaha!

Eiji: Which explains her using the same word twice in one sentence.

Indy: And this whole stupid "ho-" or skank business, *Glare* I'm so freaking sick of these stupid jealous Mary Sue fangirls calling every female they hate skanks or hookers, especially when the fact is those canon girlfriends are not, unless they did sleep around in the canon.

Katzy: Just why do I hate her so much?

Kayin: Who the heck cares. *yawns*

Emi: *Hiss* She needs to get over it.

Tracy: And get with the program.

Katzy: Yes, I KNOW she's a cartoon character and it's unhealthy to hate someone who doesn't exist (so

Tracy: Then, that should tell you something twit.

Indy: Well, yes and no. It's not unhealthy to just hate a character that doesn't exist, if that character is really deplorable. But it's really warped and unhealthy to hate a character because of jealousy over their make-believe love interest. I mean - puhleeeeeeze! Grow the blazes up or get yourself committed, you got problems, girl!

Kayin: *claps*

Eiji: *whistles and claps*

Katzy: ...what's your point?

Eiji: Besides making a total fool out of yourself?

Emi: Hahahahahahaha!

Kayin: *laughs* I think she has already done that.

Cupido: *snickers*

Katzy: Have you seen how many anti-Jar-Jar Binks pages there are out there?),

Kayin: And your point being?!

Eiji: Monkey see, monkey do, I guess.

Indy: Oh, good gosh! That's not the same thing - AT ALL! The negative reception Jar-Jar Binks has received is not coming from stupid wonky jealous Gary Stu fanboys with their briefs in a twist over Binks having some female interest they want for themselves!

But yes, even the anti-Jar-Jar crowd gets idiotic and tasteless about it. So many people just don't seem to know how to do character-opposition right. First you have to have a good reason. Hating Jar-Jar because he's kiddy-appeal, or hating Emi because she's Eiji's girlfriend are not good, or even valid reasons. There has to be something else about them that really bugs you.

Katzy: but other than plain jealousy

Tracy: BINGO!!!

Indy: Yes. That's what makes fangirls like her so hopelessly anal- retentive.

Kayin: *frowns* Talking out of your butt is not attractive.

Eiji: Ugh!

Katzy: (okay...that factors pretty big in it too ^_^;;; Another girl kissing MY Eiji-sama?!?

Eiji: Uh, eh?!

Emi: Jealous wacko!

Indy: *Her* "Eiji-sama?" oh, brother! *rolls eyes*

Tracy: I know, like sheesh. She thinks an anime character belongs to her?! What dream world is this chick living in? *snickers*

Rika: Jealous twit. Good grief, what a big baby!

Kayin: More like a space cadet because she is reeeally out there. *twirls finger over side of his face*

Katzy: OMAE O KOROSU!!),

Indy: Whatever - who cares? Cut the otaku crap already. This was supposed to be an English only page, remember? You're not Japanese and I don't speak it and neither do you really. So put your otaku guide and Japanese dictionary away and shut up.

Tracy: Neither do I and its an insult toward the Japanese when she speaks their language in this childish manner. Her Majesty the Mighty Empress Katzy *snicker* goes on to whine:

Katzy: she's ugly, wussy, a ditz and just extremely annoying; definitely not a fit girlfriend for our favorite spiky-haired hero.

Indy: *hiss and rolling eyes* She just described a typical fangirl, herself.

Tracy: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Jealousy over a cartoon character. *sighs* Stupidity has no bounds.

Eiji: Gads, who wants a bad mouthing brat like that for a girlfriend? Not me!

Kayin: Me neither, she sounds mentally deranged...

Cupido: Definitely a huge egomaniac and a wuss.

Katzy: Where was she spawned?

Master: The question is, where were YOU spawned?

Eiji: Hahahaha!

Sofia: LOL!

Kayin: We all know the answer to that one!

Eiji: *LOL*

Katzy: Well, apparently she was created as an extra character in Eiji's storyline (where the only information given about her was "Eiji's girlfriend Emi who lives in Aizu"), and since about the beginning of the game, she's been mentioned in Toshinden Remix, appeared in the Toshinden Game Boy game and Nitoshinden, made appearances in FAR too many manga, and is almost always mentioned in the official Eiji materials. Thank God she was almost totally cut out of the American versions >:)

Indy: "Cut the blasphemy! And for crying out loud, you really should have some cheese with that whine...

Eiji: Boy, she really is taking this Emi thing way too seriously.

Uranus: Awwwwww, the poor little baby!

Tracy: *snorts* Can we hear the violins in the background, yet?

Master: Lol

Katzy: Why give Eiji a girlfriend at all?

Indy: Why not? Good grief, this is utterly disgusting!

Kayin: Yeah, why give Eiji a girlfriend when you can be the perfect woman for him. *snickers*

Katzy: Who knows. Maybe it was to add a certain degree of humility to Eiji's character; maybe it seemed "quaint" for Eiji to have a girl in his life.

Cupido: Or maybe it's just a natural thing to do sometimes in stories? Duh.

Eiji: Yes.

Kayin: It happens in life sometimes, and not exclusively to you, kid, in case you didn't know.

Indy: *shakes head* So...This hormone driven little empress of bratdom expects creaters of anime to write according to *her* wishes and not put in girlfriends of guy characters because she's a jealous freak who wants them to herself!? Crap, talk about your self-centered, arrogant, ego-tripping Mary Sue!

Katzy: Um, can we say NO??

Cupido: Uh, can we say GET A LIFE??

Katzy: It would have only been cool if Eiji had hooked up with a girl who could actually FIGHT

Indy: A girl is a girl. It doesn't matter who it would've been, Katzy would still be jealous and invent all kinds of excuses to hate her out of envy! Besides, have you ever heard anything so lame!? Fighting guys should only hook up with girls who fight! This is getting more and more ridiculous by the second!

Sofia: So only fighters should marry each other, swimmers fall in love with swimmers, lawyers hook up with lawyers, yikes. That little girl really should think before opening her big trap.

Katzy: -- like Ellis.

Tracy: Girl, what the hex is wrong with you? Of all the people in Toshinden you had to pick Ellis, the little underage girl in the pink tutu?!

Indy: Oh...My...Gosh! Not another perverted fangirl twit in favor of child romance or *shudder* sex!

Sofia: From reading her fanfics, she's trying to hook up Eiji and Ellis together.

Indy: *Gags*

Sofia: Just because *SHE* thinks they make a cute couple doesn't mean it's right. She's going against what the creators of Toshinden had intended for these characters and she has the nerve to get on other people's cases if they don't have their facts right about the game's storyline?! Oh, please!!!

Eiji: Oh, my hamgawd! She's trying to make me out to be a child molester!

Kayin: *nods* When I think of someone who can actually fight, Ellis is not the one I had in mind. She's one of the weakest fighters in the game.

Indy: She'd rather see Eiji get it on with a child than with Emi - all because she's so freakinged jealous and a child herself! Somebody hand me a barfbag, quick!

Tracy: Grrrrr!!

Katzy: Eiji & Ellis is good.

Eiji: Like hex!

Indy: Eiji and Ellis is not. That's not how it was created, so she needs to stop being so arrogant in thinking she could write the plot better than the creators of it...Idiot! Her idea stinks to high heaven!

Tracy: YES!! She's trying to rewrite the whole story line to fit her own twisted view of what should happen.

Katzy: I like. Eiji: I don't like...

Indy: Oh, shut it!

Katzy: But instead, the whuparse adventurer is stuck with a whiny little crybaby who runs sobbing to him whenever she's threatened and tries to prevent him from finding his brother -- which is his DESTINY, thankyouverymuch.

Tracy: Oh, not another lame impersonation of Elvis, and at least Emi has good reason to cry. This little snot-nosed empress needs to put a sock in it!

Indy: As if her stupid page wasn't anything but a huge whine and cry fest. Give me a pickin' break!

Katzy: (Honestly, give me the choice between Eiji & Emi as a couple or Eiji & Kayin as a couple...

I'd seriously go with the yaoi.

Indy: *Scowl* Oh, I'm sure that would be a real turn-on for you… *Facepalm* Down with that stupid yaoi crap already!

Kayin: WHAT?!

Eiji: Did I just hear that broad say she would like for me and Kayin to be a COUPLE?! Oh, hamgawd, I think I'm gonna be sick!! *gags* *face turns green*

Sofia: *groans* Not again with the yaoi! Give us characters a break!!

Tracy: Why am I not surprised? *snorts* Pervert.

Rika: What in heck's wrong with just letting characters be best friends? What is it with these kinky fangirls turning everything into sex?

Geez! Tracy: *snorts* Oh, here we go with the yaoi crap again! Fangirl twits, they are so hopelessly jealous they would rather see their anime crush with another dude than with a girl. That doesn't make any darn sense to me at all.

Emi: Me neither. They are hopelessly warped in the head.

Tracy: They need a swift kick to the head.

Sofia: It's no wonder fanfic isn't actually considered *real* writing. If the shows went the same way as fanfic, they would eventually die out with the general public and be exclusive to porno movies. *facepalms in humiliation*)

Eiji: Katzy should feel humiliated for saying that remark!

Indy: She should feel humiliated for putting up such a piece of garbage for a page!

Kayin: Here! Here!

Katzy: We all could have just forgot about her after the first game, but noooooooo...why people feel the need to add her in practically EVERY Eiji manga and all of the side story games is absolutely beyond me. Her unwanted presence just ruins it all >_<

Indy: oh, for gosh sake, stop whining and shut up! *smacks the mighty empress Katzy across the face*

Emi: *claps*

Eiji: *whistles*

Tracy: Get over your petty jealousy, kid! It doesn't become you.

Kayin: *nods* Yeah, all her pathetic b---hing is really getting on my nerves.

Katzy: And now, the Gallery of Horror (or at least the Wh—e):

Indy: *Scowls, raising clenched fists* Shut your dumb hormonal trap, Empress!

Kayin: More like snore, referring to you that is. *snickers*

Eiji: Shut up, you little two-bit tramp! Emi is not a whore!!

Indy: The only horror is the mind behind this piece of crap! She also needs to get it knocked into her thick head that a wh—e has sex for money. Where in Toshinden does Emi do that? Nowhere? Would the webmistress of this bilje sleep with her cartoon crushes for money? I bet she would if she only could! She'd jump at the chance, right out of her pants. Heck, I'll bet she'd just love to do a group thing with herself, Eiji, Kayin, and little Ellis. That would make her the wh—e or at least a terrible skank.

Tracy: And this chick and her friends love to jump on other people's cases when they don't have their facts right about the game and what not. She needs to know, herself, what the heck she is talking about before she judges others.

Indy: No doubt. *Rolling eyes*

Katzy: Cover of Takebarashi Takeshi's Toshinden manga series, tankouban #1 Here's a pic of the ugly b—h from the first manga she ever graced- er, DISgraced with her presence. What's up with the dorky little sister look?

Sofia: Yet she wants Eiji to hop in the sack with dorky little Ellis. Geesh, she can't even keep her ideas straight.

Katzy: And I'm sorry, but hot pink and blue just do NOT go together. Then again, what can you expect from a stupid fangirl who hardly ever wears anything but replicas of Eiji's costume...?

Indy: If that's true, then Eiji must wear pink and blue, but you're not balking about that. Why? So either she wears clothes like Eiji's or she wears pink and blue, which is it? And you're the last who should be talking about stupid fangirls. you're a stupid fangirl, Emi is an actual character. In the official manga etc...she is somebody, where as you aren't even a thought.

Emi: That explains a lot, doesn't it?

Tracy: *splutters* She's a fashion expert, now?! And to hate someone for their appearance and way of dress, crap, thats pretty lame and pathetic. Is that the best she can do?

Uranus: Not only that, but she thinks this makes her look better than Emi? Puhleeeeze.

Sofia: The empress is just upset because she didn't make it into the manga along side her crushes!

Tracy: Judging from those pics of the Katzy character, her costume is the typical anime fighting school girl uniform outfit. Boring...

Indy: But it's hard to imagine her wearing anything else...Except a crown of course! *sneer*

Katzy: Nitoshinden booklet picture (no, she doesn't fight. She's too wussy for that).

Master: And you can? *snorts* Give me a break.

Indy: And the webmistress has fought in how many battles herself, not counting the ones in cyberspace...

Emi: I wasn't aware there were sports allowing women to fight in Japan. It is still a male dominated society over there,.

Kayin: Haha, the only fighting that little lass has done is in her friend's fanfic. *lol*

Indy: And I'll bet she was THE BEST fighter in that thing as well. That's so Mary Sue.

Katzy: From Toshinden Forever History. Awww, now, isn't she CUTE? Make me retch.

Indy: oh, right, only the mighty empress Katzy is allowed to be cute...Sheesh. *rolling eyes* And you know what, Katzy, you are not.

Master: of course. That's part of being a Mary Sue, don't you know!? She has to be THE star of all time, out-doing everybody else in absolutely everything! *stamps foot in frustration*

Sofia: Calm down, Master.

Master: If that idiot would quit moaning on and on, I might get the chance to.

Katzy: *spots clouds of dust behind her* Aw, darn, my thermonuclear warhead MISSED~! *lock & load* Guess I'll just have to try AGAIN!! *eeeeeevil grin*

Eiji: You bloody idiot! Hopefully, the thermonuclear warhead will hit you this time!

Indy: Boy, this is nauseating, and I don't mean Emi, either.

Katzy: Manga scan. *annoying falsetto* Oh, save me, Eiji, SAVE ME!! There's a big scary man with a gun trying to kill me!! WAAAAAAAAH!! I'm so SCAAAAAAARED!!! *sobs* *facepalms, groans* Why didn't Verm just SHOOT her...?!?

Eiji: *glares* Question is why didn't Vermillion shoot YOU instead?

Sofia: Because she never made it into the manga, so they couldn't shoot something that isn't even there.

Katzy: Manga scan. Tee-hee, look at me! I even dress just like my boyfriend! I have absolutely NO personality or fashion sense of my own, I just do everything he does! Hee hee!

Tracy: Gosh, whatta loser. *sighs* Referring to her Majesty the mighty Empress Katzy, that is!

Kayin: Just ignore her and may be she will go away.

Eiji: I wish. *frowns*

Katzy: Manga scan. Wow, and here I always thought Chaos was the ugliest Toshinden character...

Eiji: If you were a real Toshinden character instead of some wannabee, that title would go to you, sweetheart.

Emi: Hehe! Yes! Way to go, Eiji!! Rip her to shreds! Goodness knows, she deserves it.

Eiji: *gives Emi a meaningful loving look and a peck on the cheek* I don't like nasty little fangirls trying to drag your good name through the mud.

Emi: *smiles back with tears in her eyes, leans in and returns Eiji's kiss* you're the only man for me, Eiji.

Indy: Urgh. *Squirms uncomfortably, we get it already, now break it up, people, I'm still here you know.

Eiji: I love you too, Emi. *kiss* You are my only girl.

Indy: Okay, I can take a hint, I'll just leave.

Emi: Lol

Eiji: hehe. Sorry, just couldn't resist.

Katzy: Manga scan. Okay, honey, here's the deal: He IS going off to find his brother, and YOU'RE not stopping him. Got it?

Kayin: We don't want it. No thanks.

Katzy: Now shut the hex up and go throw yourself off a building.

Tracy: *glares at Katzy* Good idea! Please, do that, Empress!

Cupido: LOL!

Katzy: And that plastic surgery did NOT help -- you're still a dog.

Emi: Oh, shut up!

Eiji: *glares*

Kayin: *rolls eyes at Katzy in annoyance* Look who's talking! All I heard was "Woof! Woof!" from you.

Master: *snickers*

Rika: *laugh*

Cupido: Lol

Sofia: Hehe.

Indy: Hahaha!

Katzy: See the Empress give the B—h what she deserves...

Indy: *Scowl* There you go with that b word again! Shut - up!

Tracy: More like see the so called Empress get what she deserves.

Emi: *WACK*

Eiji: *claps*

Kayin: *snickers* Thatta girl, Emi.

Indy: See the empress's new clothes!

Eiji: Hey, that was my favorite childhood story!

Uranus: She said *EMPRESS* not *EMPEROR's* new clothes, Eiji.

Eiji: Eh, Sorry...

Indy: But you had the right idea.

Kayin: *ROTFLOL*

Eiji: Hehe!

Katzy: And now, for more Emi-death fun...THE EMI DEATH LIST!!!!

Cupido: Oh, give it a rest!

Eiji: *growls* Does this Mary Sue never quit!? *sighs*

Indy: She means Emi death crap, and *sigh* we get treated to another stupid unoriginal lame death list!

Kayin: *groans* This is too much.

Uranus: Change the header to Katzy-death fun..THE KATZY DEATH LIST and it should be more interesting.

Emi: Heh!

Tracy: Mwhahaha!

Rika: lol

Katzy: The news helicopter she's in on that one NiToshinden pic could crash, and she'd burn to a crisp.

Indy: Typical sadistic inhuman fangirl fantasy. *kicks wall in outrage*

Kayin: And it crashed and burned on Katzy and her body was never found.

Master: Yaaaa!

Emi: *cries* I can't stand this any more!

Eiji: *holds her close* Me neither. Look, why don't you go into the other room, I'll come get you when that ugly harpee shuts up.

Emi: *sniffles* Thanks. *gives Eiji a hug and kiss, and exits*

Indy: *grimace*

Eiji: *scowls at the cruel and selfish empress Katzy*

Katzy: She could accidentally get dragged into a match on the Takara School's "playground", and be beaten to death.

Indy: *smashes window* Shut up, Demnit!

Kayin: Whoa, whoa. Calm down, Indy. I know how you feel but she's not worth getting all frustrated over.

Tracy: Yes, don't let that twit get to you like this.

Indy: Sorry...But grrrrrr! *Glowers*

Cupido: We knew it was really you oh mighty empress that got an arse whoopin' so don't trip! *snickers*

Emi *calls from other room* EIJI!

Eiji: *runs into next room but Emi is coming out, and they bump into each other.*

Emi: What was...that!?

Eiji: It's just Indy getting mad. Nothing to worry about.

Emi: *sighs in relief*

Eiji: You'll be all right in there. The vulture isn't finished squalking for your death yet but she won't kill you, I promise you that. *returns to the character conference room*

Katzy: Rika could hit Emi in the head with her piko-piko hammer, and she'd die of a brain hemorrhage.

Rika: I'd rather hit the empress with it.

Sofia: At least Emi would've had a brain to hemorrhage.

Eiji: Too bad she didn't hit Katzy with her hammer.

Tracy: *splutters and laughs*

Master: Mwhahaha!

Katzy could send an assassin to kill her. Actually, an assassin that would bind, quarter, and flash-fry would be nice...

Eiji: *loses temper completely now and explodes* !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *turns pale as a ghost, then red as a beet, rushes at Katsy, grabs her and... *Wack! Wack! Wack! Wack! Wack! Wack! Wack!*

Cupido: Hey, let me have a turn! *moves up to Eiji and wacks the mighty empress Katzy senseless!*

Indy: Let her have it!!!! *cheers*

Kayin: Hurrah! *clap clap clap!*

Unfortunately, vermine can prove very hard to exterminate or discourage, and when the empress of Egoland recovers, she continues to spew.

Katzy: She could be viewing a fight between Eiji and Sho, and, trying to act like the heroine that she's NOT, she would get in the way of an attack. She dies instantly.

Eiji: Correction, It is you that dies.

Kayin: After you bore them to tears with your mad rantings about killing

Emi, they decide to kill you instead.

Indy: LOL!

Eiji: *chuckles*

Tracy: Hahahaha!!

Katzy: Pretending she's as cool as her boyfriend, Emi tries to fight Kayin. Kayin whups her arse all over the globe, and she later dies from severe injuries in the hospital. Kayin offers a mumbled, "Sorry."

Kayin: Eh?! When the hex did this happen?

Tracy:: In her sad little mind, unfortunately.

Katzy: She sees herself in a mirror, and dies from shock of how ugly she actually is.

Cupido: Sorry, that's you again! *lol*

Katzy: She runs out of replicas of Eiji's costume to wear, and, unable to bear the thought of wearing something that ISN'T a complete ripoff of Eiji's outfit, throws herself out a window.

Master: And she lands on you, knocking you out.

Uranus: *lol*

Katzy: Eiji hugs her, accidentally applies too much pressure, and her head pops off.

Cupido: And it comes flying in your direction. bonking you on the head, killing you instantly.

Indy: Lol!

Uranus: Hehe!

Katzy: Ellis could get jealous and knife her in the throat.

Tracy: Yeah, right. *snorts*

Eiji: More like the other way around.

Indy: *rolling eyes at the mighty empress* Ellis is a child, you stupid dolt!

Kayin: Something tells me she's too stupid to realize that.

Tracy: You know that everyone has the right to be stupid...Some people abuse the privilege.

Rika: Hahahaha, Good one!

Katzy: Sofia could get jealous and whip her to death.

Sofia: NOT!

Kayin: You would like that, wouldn't you?

Eiji: *scowls at the mighty empress* You make me sick!

Indy: *gets mad again and yanks Katzy's hair* Shut the bloody heck up! *punch*

Katzy: Tracy could get jealous and electrocute her.

Tracy: *zaps the mighty empress instead*

Kayin: Hahaha!

Tracy: I'm not the sort to get jealous over anybody.

Katzy: Kayin could get jealous and cut her to bits.

Indy: Oh, please!!! Shut up!

Kayin: *really peeved off now, straightens up, expression of barely controlled anger at the mighty empress* Let's get a few things straight, Empress...Eiji is my friend, not my lover, got that!? Emi is his girl, you are nothing to him but a royal pain in the arse. Emi's not my type, but she's Eiji's, and a sweet kid. Why, for the love of Toshinden would I brutalize her to death and hurt my friend Eiji this way? what sort of stupid clod do you take me for!? You just want everyone to be insanely jealous like you so you can excuse your maniacal misbehavior! You, o' empress have made some really stupid and tasteless remarks but this one is beyond description!

Sofia: Holy cow!! She managed to tick off Kayin!

Indy: *Rolling eyes* That's not hard to do, but for once, he's justified.

Master: Uh, oh!

Uranus: Bad move, girlie!

Tracy: I would run if I was her.

Katzy: Empress IS jealous and beats her to death with a dead trout.

Indy: Oh, not with the stupid lame unoriginal dead trout thang! I got so sick of seeing that trout script when I used to go on irc.

Eiji: At least you got the jealous part right. But you lay a finger on Emi and it'll be you who gets the beating of your life!

Kayin: Someone should be beating the empress with that dead trout.

Katzy: Thank you for visiting the Emi-Death page

Indy: You're not welcome! *hiss and death stare*

Tracy: Thanks for nothing! *growls at Katzy*

Katzy: and please come back again for more happy doses of assassination plans...>:D

Eiji: As if I really wanted to come here in the first place. :p

Kayin: I give this page two thumbs down.

Indy: Then comes the usual "page owned by" and linkages seen on all the other pages, and the ever so annoying exclamation of:

Katzy: Toshinden Always and Forever!!

Indy: Good gads! Not again! Two thumbs down! The Emi Death page is nothing but trash! I hope she'll eventually do the right thing and take down that piece of detritus and hope it won't come back to haunt her five or ten years from now. I'd die before admitting to be the author of that diarrhea, but then again, I haven't got the mental instability, emotional neediness, hormone overload, and psychotic personality to write such an idiotic page in the first place.


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