Lisa Marie Gonzalez

Lisa's Diary, Fiction!

This chain letter started back in April 2001.

Then Lisa eventually haunted her own room as another meme about Suicide Lisa circulated starting at least as far back as Nov. 24, 2003.

Mangling time.

🤥Meme: This is sooo sad ,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Naturally.

🤥Meme: please think of this everytime you decide to be awful to someone who isn't as "cool" or "popular" or "pretty" as you are-

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: This is one of the big reasons I detest chain letters and the people who start them, such as you!

You have some nerve making false, nasty assumptions about people you don't know from a hole in the ground, issuing blanket insults to their character to get them spreading your pack of lies dressed up to look like some big bleeding-heart concern over stopping injustices!

If you really were interested in stopping injustices, you would not have come up with this load and then made any kind of assumption about me, just one person in many who just happened to see your pile of bilge.

If you knew me at all, you'd know full well that I do not consider myself cooler, prettier, more popular than the next person, do not put any value on such things, and don't go around making fun like some shallow-minded school kid.

I do, however, hand out flak wherever and whenever I feel it is warranted, and you and your lot of characters are about to get it. I'm on to your manipulative heart-yanking scheme and will not be played by you.

🤥Meme: remember, making fun of someone just shows how insecure you really are!-Ali

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Sometimes, maybe, but I never bought into that theory completely. It goes way too easy on people who make fun of others because that's what blood-thirsty, sadistic, narcissistic evil bullies get their kicks doing.

🤥Meme: SAD STORY

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But not true. What's sad is somebody actually took the time to write out this drippy downer in an attempt to cause some needless massive forwarding heart-break.

🤥Meme: About one year ago,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Considering this chain started back in April 2001, it must've been a very very long year.

🤥Meme: a fifteen year old girl died.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Reality check: many many teenagers and people of all ages for that matter, die every day.

🤥Meme: her name: Lisa Marie

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nice name for a girl who never existed.

🤥Meme: she was a very lovely girl.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Right, I'm supposed to feel more sorry for her because you said she was lovely? What exactly made her lovely by your standards?

🤥Meme: She lived in Michigan.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Actually no she didn't, but hey, I know you're not interested in letting the truth get in the way of a whopper of a sad tale.

🤥Meme: And hung herself in her own house. In her room,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Is that your idea of lovely? Well, you went right from "She was lovely" to "She hung herself" you never said anything about whether she did anything kind to anyone else, or possessed some sort of talent, nothing. So either you have a really twisted idea of lovely or else you feel it necessary to toss in some obligatory praise for this girl just because she had a sucky life and she died.

🤥Meme: five days after her death, her mother found Lisa's diary. She wanted to know why Lisa hung herself.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: simple answer - Lisa was a very very very very unhappy miserable sad sad girl who thought her life wasn't worth living because it sucked and she probably thought it would continue to suck forever…

🤥Meme: theses are the entries of her diary:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Besides the fact this whole thing is utterly fabricated, seriously, what makes you think anyone would want to read a pile of "Woe is me, poor me, I'm the most sorry person who ever lived and my life is rotten and everybody either hates me or dies so why should I go on living?" drivel? Especially after it would be way too late to help this girl anyway? Not that she ever needed it, she didn't exist, after all.

What I'm getting at is this - you'd have to be a pretty morbid downer of a soul to make up this stuff, and a heartless one to unleash it on the public, passing it off as truth.

The one truly guilty of making fun of people here, is you, the originator of this chain letter.

🙍Lisa: November 7,1999

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not all that long after Amy Bruce and her cronies launched their sick kid cyber-money&sympathy-grabbing scams. But it was still longer than "one year ago" even back in 2001 when this meme started.

🙍Lisa: Dear diary, today was my first day of school in Michigan.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Another story about an angsty teen being uprooted by a move to a different state and different school. *Yawn* reminds me of the Carmen winstead/Jessica Smith chain letter and the "I've Been Waiting For You" movie. Not to mention countless Mary Sue fanfiction stories.

🙍Lisa: When I walked in the classroom some of the guys spit wads at me and called me a freak.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah right, c'mon now. Except in teen movies and bad fiction (which this is), classmates aren't such exaggerated imbeciles to a new student on the very first day, the second they first enter a classroom. It usually takes a bit of time before that sort of stuff starts happening, and not so much in the senior high grades. This is elementary and junior high stuff.

🙍Lisa: That's the start of a bad day.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh sure. If you wanted to be more believable, you could've gone with "I got the wrong books" or "There was a problem with my class schedule" or "At lunch time, I found out my shirt was on inside-out" something like that for the start of your very first very bad day.

Oh, but you weren't going for believable, you were going for a big pity-play.

🙍Lisa: Then some really popular pretty girls walked over to me and introduces theirselves.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lisa, lisa, lisa - it is apparent you need to study your english language and literature a bit more. 'theirselves'? *wince* It's 'themselves'. 'Theirselves' is not a word.

And how would you know on the very first day, within the first few hours of school these girls were really popular? Did you just decide that because you thought they were pretty and you just ache to be pretty as them? did they actually come up to you and introduce themselves with "Hi, I'm Ashley Halagey and I'm popular!" "Hi, I'm Tina Halagey and I'm popular!" "I'm Emma and I'm popular." "I'm Elizabith and I'm popular!" "I'm courtney and I'm popular!" "I'm Cordilia and I'm popular!" "I'm Madalin and I'm popular!" ?

Oh, but the reason you are playing this angle is because everyone knows it's supposed to be worse getting picked on by so-called popular kids than by supposed nobodies. Why am I reminded of the Carmen Winstead/Jessica Smith, Jack, Ashley, and Tina Halagey and Akira memes?

🙍Lisa: They told me that I was the ugliest thing they'd ever seen, and i started to cry.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: yeah right, the very first things they said to you were: "Hi! I'm (all at once) AshleyCordiliaCourtneyElizabithEmmaMadalinTina!" *In unison* "We are the most popular girls in school and you're the ugliest thing we've ever seen!"

I'm picturing seven (Ohmigosh SevenSuperGirls!) Seven life-sized dolls, complete with over-done makeup, ridiculously girly-girl clothes, noses stuck way up in the air. Right in back of them is this large panel that is actually a touch-screen. Hit various buttons on that screen, and these dolls interact with it in the same way the 2012 version furbies interact with their Ipad/Ipod/Iphone/Mac app. So, you hit the "popular" button, and the dolls say a greeting followed by their names, then "We're popular!" Hit the "ugly" button, and they crow together "You're the ugliest thing we ever saw!"

That's just how believable and realistic your sob-story is, Lisa. Only a Mary Sue becomes this super-magnet for love or hate among all present (especially any who are termed "popular"), just by merely walking into a room.

You're much more likely to get completely ignored by the popular contingent at the very beginning. It's a school with many classes and hundreds of students. What are the odds the few little in crowd twinks are going to zero in on you as soon as you set foot in that school?

And one inanely soon, catty stupid insult and you're already crying? I know life gets tough for emotional teenaged girls, been there done that. But really, you're not in grade 8 any more. And since when do you document every tear you shed? People who do that are self-analyzing too much or are insincere or both, and I'm thinking both in your case.

🙍Lisa: I went home and Jake called me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So this Jake actually gets mentioned by name and the girls don't? Reminds me of the Gary Is Love chain. If this is Jake the bully from the Alexa Black, Stinky Mike, Michael, Tamara, and Marissa chain letters, he's bad news anyway.

🙍Lisa: I thought the day would get better.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What, just because some boy called you? And yeah, yeah, I know, I know, it just got worse… he probably called you ugly too.

🙍Lisa: But he told me that long distance relationships dont work out.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gah, Talk about unbelievably contrived timing. And you never even said he was your boyfriend. I thought he was just some guy from your new school until you threw this bit about long-distance relationships in. Oh, hang on, this is supposed to be a diary, not literature. I keep forgetting that.

And what kind of loser decides to dump you right after you move? So Jakey Boy couldn't be with you and have you running over every time he calls so then he decides to just call it quits? What a selfish, shallow jerk. He obviously didn't care all that much to begin with and was just looking for an excuse.

🙍Lisa: He lived in California, and I moved to Michigan.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, now all of a sudden you decided to mention this after so many other unwritten entries in this bogus diary?

🙍Lisa: Then I told him I loved him and that I missed him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Why didn't you just say goodbye and hang up?

🙍Lisa: He told me that the only reason he ever went out with me was because

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I knew it, Jake the jerk. He never cared. If he had, he wouldn't be pulling this crap.

🙍Lisa: I was a joke, and he was dared to.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gah! What an absolute pig! I'll bet he's the same Jake that got his jollies beating up Mike and Tamara, and tossing Alexa off a roof too. If I was you, I'd slam the phone down on his cowardly little ear.

Besides all that, if Jake really wanted to be through with you, why go through the effort to call you and give you all this crap? Only a real head-gaming twit that wants to keep playing a girl might pull this. It would've been much easier if Jakey Boy had simply never called or written you again. No need for the over-the-top contrived plot-twist. I get it already, Lisa, I really do. Your life sucks. Or at least, you're trying really hard to convince me of that, to make me very sorry for you.

If this was a real diary, there would be a lot more passion in it. If some Jake treated me the way he did you, for example, I'd be writing a lot of extremely angry, probably even nasty things directed at him as a result.

But you just put it all down so matter-of-fact, you are not trying to heal yourself with this thing, you are only trying to squeeze some tears out of me. This is only a story, a piece of creative writing that's trying to look like a diary.

🙍Lisa: Then he dumped me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So you're telling me the dumping only came after he told you that long relationships didn't work and that you were a joke? I thought the whole process was him dumping you already. Excuse me, Lisa, my mistake. I guess he had to explicitly say, in so many words, "Lisa, I dump you." for it to count.

🙍Lisa: We were going out for two and a half years!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So since you were 13, maybe even 12 and some months, and back at that age, probably before puberty set in, Jakey and his friends were playing girls like game pieces? so why did this little lout hang around that long if you were only a dare and a joke to him? This just isn't adding up, Lisa, not at all. I realize you want me being all torn up at your being led on for a full two and a half years only to be brutally dumped on your worst day ever at a new school, but it just isn't working on me.

🙍Lisa: November 9,1999

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What happened to November 8? Oh, right, you had a so-so day, nothing sad or outrageous to write about.

🙍Lisa: Today got a little better. I miss jake so much you dont even know diary!!!! But he even changed his number so I wouldn't call him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So that's it, you spent all of Nov. 8 trying to call that loser I suppose. and his changing the phone number makes the day a little better. Yeah, I can totally see that… I don't understand why you're not mad as heck at him. or maybe you decided to stick with sad since anger and indignation doesn't exactly make you look like a poor hard-done-by victim of all circumstances.

🙍Lisa: But the most hottest guy at school asked me to the dance!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so that makes everything just a little bit rosier does it? As long as you got some hot guy who seems to be just a little interested in you, what a status-hungry brat. And let me guess, his name is Marcus, Jack, Tom, or Brian, right? aren't you suspicious of his motives? If he's hanging around with those popular girls, you should be. he might have asked you as a joke, on another dare, you know.

🙍Lisa: And those prissy girls that said im ugly let me hang out with them at lunch today.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, they 'let' you, did they? Of all the people at school, you chose to hang out with them? Doesn't say much about your character. Ego and status just trump common sense and the goodness of humanity for you. Well, the way to at least keep your ego in tact would be to hang out with better schoolmates. These lice are just going to hurt you again.

Yeah, chain originator, so much for being a lovely girl. Far as I can tell, your Lisa is just as obsessed with being popular as the rest of your two-dimensional cast of schoolyard characters.

🙍Lisa: It was cool!!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, it was wrong.

🙍Lisa: November 10,1999

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: let me guess, something crushed you again.

🙍Lisa: I'm crying right now...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Facepalms&rolling eyes* Don't tell me about it, get a grip on yourself and then write when you can see straight. Yeah, you're self-analyzing/trying to milk me for sympathy again and it still isn't working.

🙍Lisa: turns out that hot guy was a jerk at the dance

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Big surprise… Well your priorities aren't straight either, you didn't even mention his name. all that mattered to you was that he was "hot" and well, so he was a jerk. Great big shocker…Not.

🙍Lisa: he poured his punch on me, and those girls ripped my dress and everyone started laughing.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: At a school dance? What the heck kind of zoo is this anyway? Where are the teachers? These brats are acting more like apes and toddlers than high school kids. Are they even toilet-trained yet? House-broken?

right. I still don't believe you.

🙍Lisa: Then my grandma told me today that mom and dad got in a little car accident today at work.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: A car accident at work? Are you telling me they both got the same job, and they were on the job when it happened? Not making any sense.

🙍Lisa: They're in critical condition,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But you said it was a "little" car accident. If it was little, they would've got minor injuries or no injuries at all.

🙍Lisa: they might die.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, good grief, girl, where's your passion? Just "they might die" like that. no "Oh God please save them!" which, while very inappropriate in a chain letter, would be perfectly okay in a real diary. and that's the point. This is not a real diary, or even a good piece of fiction-writing. It's an emotion-sapping chain letter. A real diary might go on like this: "I'm so scared they'll die! I don't want them to die!" Nothing like that, just a blunt, journalistic approach. But then, they're not Jake or that hot guy at school or the popular girls that you were hoping would boost your status… They're only your parents.

Funny how you wrote so terribly much about those school apes first, then put in as a kind of afterthought, oops, carr accident, parents might die. Oh well. Jake and the hot guy dissed on you and that's surely a thousand times worse! *Rolling eyes* If your parents were the more pressing concern for you, you would've written about them first, putting your school soap opera down last if at all.

🙍Lisa: I can't write anymore.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: so who's asking you to?

🙍Lisa: November 11, 1999

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Another day, another woe for poor little Lisa.

🙍Lisa: Todays a saturday...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nope. Nov. 11, 1999 was a Thursday.

🙍Lisa: but me and grandma were at the hospital all night long. Dad died this morning.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So why are you writing about it already? If I was in your shoes, I'd be way too upset to want to write anything for a while. Yeah, people deal differently. Oh well. Some "little accident".

🙍Lisa: Mom is going to live, but she's crippled for her life.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh boy, talk about a brutal heart-yank attempt.

Reality-check: It's too soon to determine if someone is crippled for life, and even if something like that gets eventually supposed by doctors, they can be and sometimes are absolutely wrong.

But you just want me to sag into a blubbing heap over this, so you're doing all you can to make this as pathetically heart-rending as possible.

Not a single tear in my eye yet, pal, not a one.

🙍Lisa: I wanna die too.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Pretty difficult for you to do since you never lived.

🙍Lisa: while we were at the hospital

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Golly hackers! How long is this dreary thing going to get?

🙍Lisa: grandma found out that she had cancer in her stomach.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Facepalm* Oh, but of course! Gotta stick cancer in here somewhere………. Gah! Well that explains why people have forwarded this awful thing. It's chock-full of bullying and cancer!

Then when the stories are fiction, passed off as truth, that is indecent.

Is it any wonder I get so blistered at these sad forwards, useless Facebook causes and the people who inflict them on me?

and again with the unbelievably contrived timing. Lisa doesn't break up with her loser boyfriend during the summer, move to another state in the fall, have a rough time with bad kids in her school that winter, parents get in an accident two years later, Granny getting cancer 10 years after that.

It all happens at once, suddenly life totally dumps everything nasty under the sun, all on poor little Lisa's shoulders within the space of a few days.

I still don't believe or shed any tears for her.

🙍Lisa: She has to go on chemo-therapy.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Duh, naturally. that's like, very common for cancer patients, you know……….

🙍Lisa: I cant believe daddy died.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't believe it either. and enough with the "daddy" stuff. Gah it it irritates me when grown girls call their Dad "Daddy". I can't decide if it's preppy or very childish, but then again, IMO preppy is a form of childish so it goes hand in hand anyway. Just whatever. Cut it out!

🙍Lisa: I'm crying more then I have my whole life.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I doubt it. and I don't care.

🙍Lisa: I'm in shock. I cant write...I'm too tired. I need sleep.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: then stop self-analyzing and throwing pity-parties. Just shut up already and go to sleep!

🙍Lisa: November 12

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Sleep well? Probably not…

🙍Lisa: Daddy is not dead!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You told me he was. Enough with the "Daddy"!

🙍Lisa: He can't be!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, that's up to the blighter who wrote you and your sad life story into this chain letter.

🙍Lisa: Its all a dream.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, I might be able to swing that. but I have to get through this meme-mangle first.

🙍Lisa: My life is perfect.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh. Lisa, you are giving me the creeps. Cut out the denials or contradictions or whatever they are. It isn't fun reading or witnessing someone going right off the rails. Even when things go good, nobody's life is "perfect".

🙍Lisa: Jake still loves me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Still? He never did love you. he told you you were a joke, remember? At least, that's what you said he said.

🙍Lisa: I can barely write. I'm crying too much.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Then stop trying to write and go cry yourself into a miserable ocean…! I'm not interested in trying to get you into the book of world records for shedding the most nonexistent tears within the space of a few days. Not that such an entry would even be considered anyway. Just, enough already.

🙍Lisa: I wanna die. Take me. Bye...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Then you know your life isn't perfect after all.

Just let me get through this mangle and I'll see about taking you out of your nightmare.

🤥Meme: One day later, Lisa was found dead in her basement. She had hung herself with a yellow rope.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: wait a sec. I thought you said she hung herself in her room.

Oh well, either way, it never happened.

Besides, how could lisa do that to her grandma and her mother, who would've been grieving the loss of Lisa's father already?

🙎Maranda: I am her mother. My name is Maranda Gonzalez.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, wow, and who can resist a few heart-jolting words from a crippled lady who lost her daughter via hanging, her husband via car wreck and a mother or m-i-l has cancer?

Since this whole thing is as phoney as Amy Bruce, I can resist its terrible emotional strangle-hold of lies.

Which reminds me of something else that needs to be asked.

Maranda, the chain letter says you wanted to know why Lisa killed herself so you looked in her diary for answers.

I don't quite get it.

Were you really so unaware she was having big angsty boy problems? But those are really nothing compared with your accident, your husband's death and the news about Granny. I'd think you wouldn't have to look much further than those experiences to put it all together.

🙎Maranda: The reason I wrote this e-mail to all of you,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Is because you wanted to make everybody feel really bad, and way to go exploiting your own daughter's diary this way. How heartless is that?

🙎Maranda: is because no one else deserves what my daughter had.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Right. I'm supposed to believe you are so altruistic that you want to save everybody else from Lisa's fate? Well, I don't.

🙎Maranda: Please remember that everyone needs love.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Cough, rolling eyes* Oh, brother. How patronizing can you get? Since when are you the great authority on love, or what everybody needs? what gives you the right to even assume other people have forgotten that others need love? You have some nerve.

🙎Maranda: Everyone needs a hug everyday.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 'every' 'every' every' you sure are stuck on this all-inclusive stuff aren't you? But why just stop at everyday? why not go even further and say how everyone needs every hug from everyone else every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every month of every year for the rest of everybody's life?

well you know something Maranda? Some people just aren't huggy. some don't even like to be touched at all. some people are quite content being loners. They don't want your hugs, and neither do I.

🙎Maranda: No one should be made fun of, or insulted.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But by your very assumption that I might not have clued into this, is insulting. So you're more guilty of insult and making fun of all the innocent readers you have judged.

🙎Maranda: No one deserves to die like Lisa did.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No one deserves to get crippled, get cancer, or die in a car wreck either. But you're trying to tell me that none of those things effected Lisa so much? what put her over the edge was only the brats at the new school, and that loser Jakey Boy? Yeah right.

Well, if she wasn't so stuck on hanging with the so-called cool kids and actually put some value on real friendship, her school life might not have stunk quite so bad.

And who's to say those brats weren't going through just as much misfortune as Lisa when it came to their own family lives? One doesn't know. It doesn't excuse them of course, but neither does it give you the right to assume the rest of the human race is like Jake or those new school brats.

🙎Maranda: All of you please dont be the popular prissy girls that put other people down to make themselves feel better!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You know what Maranda? People like me, who are nothing like that, get pretty sick of the likes of you and your unnecessary holier-than-thou attitude. Especially considering you and this whole story is absolutely phoney.

As for the cretins who are like the prissy girls who get their kicks putting others down, they haven't any semblance of a conscience and they wouldn't listen to you anyway.

So you are wasting your words.

🙎Maranda: Please dont be the awful posessed date for the dance that makes people cry.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Don't worry, I'm not going to any school dances, and I don't go around trying to make people cry. Too bad the same can't be said of you.

🙎Maranda: Now please do me the honor of

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I will not honour you since you are a manipulative fraud!

🙎Maranda: sending this to as many people as you can think of.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's the surest and best way to please a hoaxer, to make them feel powerful and deserving of some sort of honour.

Consider your request vehemently denied!

🙎Maranda: So that way everyone will know not to be a jerk.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, you have got to be kidding me! You really believe that there was once a time when nobody knew anything and were all jerks, and then suddenly blam! Your chain letter came on the scene with the power to give us all a conscience and some profound knowledge on how not to be a jerk?

Oh, please!

Nobody needs a stupid stinkin' phoney suicide diary chain letter hoax story telling them not to be a jerk! In fact, to make this thing up and pass it off as something real and profound actually makes YOU the jerk!

🙎Maranda: Thank you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're not welcome.

🙎Maranda: Everyone who send this will be rewarded with a random act of kindness.. this i promise you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull! They are more likely to be hit with annoyed reactions if anything. And you can show me some of that so-called kindness by shutting up.

Here's what I've put together on Lisa.

Over and out.

Lisa is very lucky, considering. I have been very kind toward her compared with the way I treat a lot of other meme people.

So let's do something about Lisa and get her out of this nightmare.