Mediaite often has good content, but it also has crap. It hit a new low on August 20th, 2012, with Jon Bershad's *cough* satire *cough* post titled: It’s True. We Doctors Have Been Giving Republican Congressmen False Information As A Joke
If this doctor really existed and had been a republican playing a joke on the liberal media, you can be sure the tone of Bershad's article would be completely different. Instead of being condoned or cheered on as a jolly good hoax, the stunt would be condemned, possibly as treasonous. Democrats would be crowing "He's a lying republican!" and screaming for his head on a platter, with as much mock outrage and self-righteousness as they could muster.
Since Todd Akin's stupidity, Bershad's terrible satire is unfortunately not the only one that has been loosed on the net, or offline.
Fake news site The Daily Currant's absolutely tasteless piece claiming Akin believes became a chain letter, fooling a bunch of Twitter twits.
*Rolling eyes* Grow up, people, this is going way overboard and overkilled already!
The "Law And Order" TV show franchise, did have enough very interesting and decent episodes to keep me coming back to watch the re-runs, and in most cases, watch new episodes that aired, until it got so saturated with left-wing propaganda that it became hit and miss, with a lot of misses.
So when LAO SVU came out with "Legitimate Rape" I quit watching that branch of LAO completely but for maybe some old re-runs I actually liked because they were the increasingly rare episodes without liberal propaganda. That kept getting worse and worse over time, but this episode just clinched it, and has only gotten worse since.
Since Bershad's odious dreck is written in the voice of the fictitious good doctor, it will be mangled that way. It's a pile of wish-listing on the part of Bershad, no real doctor could be this infantile.
🤥Jon Bershad: The following is a transcript of comments made to me this morning by Dr. Leon Jensen when asked about his connection to Rep. Todd Akin:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bollox.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: Ok, ok, ok! You got us!…one minute. I’m sorry. I just can’t stop…laughing. Oh, God, seriously, my stomach hurts so damn bad…Can someone get me a water or something? … Ok, just let me catch my breath … Alright. Here we are. Ok, I’m good.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *dumps cyber bucket of ice water on Dr. Leon Jensen* Get a grip!
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: But, yes, it’s true. We doctors have been giving Republican Congressmen false information as a joke. We’ve been doing it for years and it’s been hilarious.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowls* Of course you have. typical left-wing lulz, that's what you do…
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: I knew we’d gone too far with that Akin guy.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: if you knew you'd gone too far, why weren't you smart enough to stop? Oh, because the lulz-high was just too wonderful and exhilarating for you, I'm sure. *Rolling eyes* From your brain to the net, you thought you'd come up with a real winner of a funny.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: It’s just, you’ve got to keep heightening the joke, y’know? See what you can get away with.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Figured that was your excuse. you belong on 4chan.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: So when Akin comes in to the hospital lounge and he’s all, “I need a reason to make rape abortions illegal,”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Sterner scowl* rape is illegal, doctor Bersh - I mean, Jensen, you know that, right? It is also damnable as far as I'm concerned! It is no laughing matter!
And can the stupid abortion crap! Republicans do need to get abortion completely off the platform, and so do you. The misguided people on the far-right are trying to save embryos while hurting innocent people who are already here. It's just like your animal rights/environmental activists crying and whining over the polar bears when human lives are being prematurely taken by disease and starvation in under-developed countries.
I am also sick to the back teeth with this worst case stereotype getting trotted out by folks on the left, who really want everyone believing republicans - all of them - are raving anti-abortion fanatics who think rape or spouse abuse is a far lesser evil than halting the existence of something that is only alive in the most basic sense until it is developed well enough to be delivered into the world and live.
Romney condemned Akin's horrendous statements and so do I.
You know he screwed up beyond all hope when not only were republicans generally wanting him to drop out, but even the anti-abortionists were upset with him.
Well, I have seen animal rights people upset with Peta's stupidity too, so this is sort of the same thing.
There is no such thing as a 'legitimate rape'. Rape is a damnable crime. What's next? 'legitimate robbery'? 'Legitimate murders'" 'Legitimate terrorism'?
Anti-abortionists have believed for years that rape never results in pregnancy. That is false and a cop-out, similar to the belief that one sexual encounter can't get a woman pregnant. I'm not sure what the stats are, but am pretty sure there's always the chance. A woman's reproductive system doesn't suddenly shut down after a rape, any more than any other means of torture or trauma.
After getting sufficient heat for this stupidity, Todd Akin made an ad, apparently doing an about-face with an apology.
But I'm afraid that won't be enough. Once a stupid remark is said, it can't be unsaid. all he would've had to do is not say it in the first place.
Akin was also sore at Romney for not backing him and suggesting he drop out of the senate race. so really, how sorry was he?
And, Todd Akin is still an anti-abortion activist, so, while the apology is a step in the right direction and the least he could do to make up for this bad move, republicans still need to get rid of anti-abortionism and its activists out of their ranks. Until they do, this sort of thing will always rear up and bite them in the arse.
Abortions get botched too, also resulting in life-long damage or death, to mother, fetus, or both.
Don't want accidents? Use sperm control, use birth control, better yet, use self control!
But you might as well admit you really don't want the bad parts of the republican platform to go away. You want the most rabid anti-abortionists around to fill the role of villain and big bad monster for you. It's all part of your agenda to get all women voting democrat.
Well I have news for you. I'm no friend of activism on either side!
An absolutely excellent response by Krista was made to this all too typical far-right anti-abortionist Yahoo question. Krista says:
"What you've claimed isn't a "conservative" position. It's a far right position that has hijacked the conservative name. The "conservatives" in this country are few and far between. They believe wholeheartedly in small government and freedom. You are calling for the government to control every woman's uterus, making women and their doctors criminals, solely for wanting to control their own bodies.
Sadly for you, this will be the destruction of the republican party. Not abortion, but the fact that the GOP and actual conservatives are in a massive fight for control of the party. If the GOP...that's you...wins, it will mean that actual conservatives are booted out of your party or willingly walk away, dividing the GOP vote for an actual conservative platform. It also means that, as more and more Americans begin to realize that the GOP does NOT remotely care about spending OR less government--as is repeatedly proven every time they are in power, the GOP will be hopelessly lost to the annals of time."
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: my buddy Kurt (he’s an oncologist) looks at me and he goes, “Dude, I can totally make this guy think ladies have duck vaginas.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Disgusted glare* typical dirty mind of a liberal. Don't take that wrong, I'm not saying all liberals have a dirty mind, just that I've seen a heck of a lot of that coming from their camp. It wasn't republicans who came up with the derogatory term 'teaba**er'.
Thank goodness Jensen doesn't really exist. If he did, well, comforting to realize the person who prescribes your medication could be kicking back in his spare time with raunchy hoaxes at others' expense because he's such a politically obsessed drip.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: And I’m like, “Kurt, don’t do it!”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, and no doubt you would've said that with real conviction too. *rolling eyes* If this really happened, you would've at least inwardly gone "Go for it, man!"
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: But you guys know Kurt!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, I don't, and thankfully never will.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: And Akin totally bought it hook line and sinker! That guy is on the Science Committee or whatever and he thinks human ladies have special duck vaginas!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I don't see how that is supposed to be so different from "climate scientists" believing in the great big cosmic belch, the ape man, the God particle, the polar vortex, and the human-caused global w - excuse me, climate change hoax. Oh, wait, the difference is, your whole story about the doctor and your fictional version of this Todd Akin is completely made up. Scientists believing in human-caused global warming is not.
Oh I'm sure if this actually happened, your doctor wouldn't have used the same straight forward language when pulling off a hoax to fool a congressman, as here in this post, he would've come up with the most complicated medical terminology you could to describe a duck's reproductive system. His being your ideal fictitious doctor and Akin being a politician you love to hate but really don't want going away in real life, you made up a stupider version of him and pitted him against your made-up doctor, making sure the playing field was not level. All to write a trashy satire that says republicans are stupid. So you were having a battle of wits with an unarmed person all in your own head, and you even had to rig that. Wow, what an accomplishment!
I have heard it said that (insert group of people here) are "useful idiots" for the left. well, you can count bad republicans like akin among them.
People like Todd Akin need to be permanently drummed out of the republican community and disowned.
But the last thing anyone needs is this sleazy brand of satire.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: It’s not just us though! We didn’t even do it first!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Big surprise. The left has been hoaxing the world for ages.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: Scientists have been lying to Republicans as a prank for even longer!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Not just lying to republicans, to all of humanity, actually. Ever since the big bang ape man theory and the human-caused global warming hoax, yeah I know. Scientists have been fooling the world with this crap. Many republicans are smart enough not to buy into that trip, so it is particularly aggravating when some of these same republicans also bought into anti-abortionism and other junk coming from the far-right. In case you aren't aware, I'm not laughing about that either!
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: It all started like a decade ago or something when this Republican kept going up to all these scientists and being like, “At least one of you has to think that Global Warming isn’t manmade!” And all the scientists kept having to say, “No, dude! We’ve all done tests!” But this guy just kept coming back (usually with his like oil company friends who, let me tell you, are just the worst) so, eventually, one of the scientists just goes, “You know what, I don’t believe in Global Warming. It’s inconclusive and stuff.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And why would I believe you? You really think you can take anyone on the non-left in again, right after you got caught lying your fool head off about women and ducks? Besides, you're just a fictional character in Bershad's head.
So the big build up then is, "People who don't believe in ducks and women having the very same reproductive system are smart enough about truth so they should believe our next lie as truth. Because if you don't buy our global warming hogwash, you're stupid enough to think women lay eggs and hatch ducklings, and ducks can have children."
You didn't even name the scientist or republican you talked about in this blathering paragraph full of "stuff" It has as much merit as the typical slactivism chain letter.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: And that was going to be it, y’know? It was just going to be that one guy. But then Republicans started going on TV and saying really mean stuff about scientists for no reason and so all the friends of the first scientist were like, “Screw it. I want to lie to them too.” And then my doctor friends and I joined in and, well, it has been one of the funniest things I’ve ever been a part of.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Again, I call bull.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: I know it’s mean but these guys are just sooooooo gullible!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's really Bershad talking… Well, he and his doctor character. So Bershad, Jensen and Akin all have something in common. They're mean, they said some tasteless things, and they believe a bunch of crap.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: It’s a total bummer that Akin guy blew our cover now because we had so much ridiculous stuff coming up!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You are no different from the typical internet troll. You have no honour and you are disgusting.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: My friend, Kayla totally got this one Republican to start drafting a nationwide Cootie Shot Initiative. I know about that one because I was the one who actually told the lie (these Republicans still don’t believe in lady doctors) and it was so hard to keep a straight face. Hilarious!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Cootie shot? Yeah right. You're just full of bull, both about the republicans, and about the cooties. Anyone beyond grade 4 knows cooties are a fairy-tale. I'm sure you've even made up a mess of republicans to talk to inside your own head too.
And as to your fatuous, hateful lie claiming republicans don't believe in lady doctors, again, demonizing and malicious bullshit!
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: But that’s nothing compared to what the scientists are doing! Oh, man! I know about this group of scientists, they were all having a science party, when these Republican Senators came in looking for science-y reasons to make video games illegal. The scientists were all watching the Jean-Claude Van Damme movie Timecop and they were a little drunk so they start telling the Republicans that it wasn’t a movie and that their TV was actually a portal into the future. I don’t want to give those guys away but just know that when a giant billion dollar Republican plan to prevent time-travelling terrorism is revealed, it’s totally our fault.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Yawn* That was about as entertaining to read as watching grass grow. Even the Bloody Mary chain letters have more of a plot and only slightly superior writing style to this internet barf.
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: ***, that was funny. Whew. Thanks for the water. I’ve got to go anyway, I’m supposed to go on cable news in an hour.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *frowns at the blaspheming* Whatever. *Throws another cyber bucket of water at jerk*
👨⚕️🤥Dr. Leon Jensen: Oh, crap! I hope they don’t read this column and cancel my appearance! I’ve been lying to those guys for a decade!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: It would be pretty amazing if you appeared anywhere since you don't exist.
OVER - AND - OUT!
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