Clarissa, The Hoax

Why It Will Not Kill You, But It Needs To Die

Clarrisa chain letter is hogwash.

Clarissa's Story (It doesn't end well for her.)

I mangled her meme, I ruined her in a story; and the fact I'm still here should reassure any poor scared little kid that no such chain letter threats such as Clarissa's can or will ever come true.


This hoax started out on its own, and eventually got fuzed with the Stinky Mike hoax after having undergone several mutations and polluted so many social networking sites.

The Clarissa Death Chain is yet another of those campy "forward or die!" viral hoaxes. and I am glad to let you know that not only is it a pile of hogwash, but it is officially recognized as such, being thoroughly debunked on Hoax-Slayer.

It is also among those featured on this hub page.

This hoax was circulating the net since at least as far back as 2008. It has been seen rampaging through this web site multiple times.

Then Clarissa jumped from that site onto the big time, Facebook, and Yahoo Answers, scaring people out of their wits. Clarissa is trying to follow in the footsteps of the likes of James Ronald and Chelsey Warner Lauren or whatever the heck that dealive girl's name is, the one obsessed with being pretty.

Clarissa seemed to go into hibernation for a time, but reared her stomping stupid smelly gorilla head again in the beginning of October 2010, November 2011, January 2012, two times by the same person in January 2012! When told Clarissa and chain letters are not real and why, this person went and posted this absolutely silly question asking if computers would still be sold to the public if chain letters were real.

Of course not!

I said as much, and am out of patience with people who just refuse to listen to common sense because they are either trolling and trying to get others to believe in hoaxes, or else they are just dying to believe in chain letters themselves, and unwilling to take the truth.

Clarissa keeps spreading and mutating, though, making it necessary to mangle the meme and let people know she is really powerless.

In late March 2012, Clarissa's hoax was enquired about on Yahoo Answers, where one person called it a load of rubbish, and pointed out she is no more real than Harry Potter. Lol How True. If only everybody would clue into this!

Also in late March 2012, the hoax was posted by this page owner and by Shannon Jennings on Facebook.

A month later, Clarissa turned up again on Yahoo Answers.

Because of this continued recycling of this stupid hoax, I'll put more occurrences of it being cited here.


Nov. 17, 2008.

Apr. 20, 2012.

apr. 27, 2012 new mutation showed up September 29, 2012.

October 10, 2012.

January 20, 2013.


Clarissa was sighted still stomping around the net in 2015, annoying the heck out of this Youtuber.

It seems some people are just bound and determined to refuse to listen to reason and are determined to remain afraid of this ridiculous nonsense, or else they are just pretending to be scared as a means of trying to genuinely scare others and keep the hoax replicating while dodging the flak all trolls deserve for such miscreance!

I will not stand for it!

Don't panic, people! Clarissa is NOT real! It won't kill you, period!

Now to the inoculation against Clarissa, via mangling and story.

Mondo Mangling of the Clarissa chain letters

The Fate Of Clarissa

You are not supposed to be afraid of me or my stories either.

The purpose of the meme-mangling and the story I wrote about Clarissa to go with it is this: to help people stop being afraid of nonsensical chain letter lies, and stop letting themselves be bullied by anonymous cowards who make up chain letters such as Clarissa. It is also meant to help you learn to laugh at the hoaxers who make up this stuff, and their pathetic dreck. that is how you turn the tables completely on the dishonourable mooks who originate and deliberately spread death hoaxes designed to scare little kids.

In my story about Clarissa, she turns out not to be this all powerful scary killer who comes and kills people on Monday nights. Instead, she gets pwned by her own puerile trollish stupidity.

In the real world, if you pass on chain letters, you will not save your life, which was never in danger from chain letters to begin with, but you will annoy sensible people and scare others who are either very young and naive, or else just gullible.

So don't tell me you are still panicking like Chicken Little over Clarissa when I have worked so hard trying to get you to see reason and realize Clarissa is nothing but a ridiculous pile of stinking balderdash!

You have no excuse to be scared of Clarissa after reading all this stuff, so buck up!

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From former Ning site:

Replies to This Discussion

Reply by Sue Waters

Love it! I read your Clarissa story on fictionlands too. Yes I wish these drongos that forward this stuff would stop to think what it says about their feelings for the friends they forward it to. My cousin sent me the Bloody Mary hoax once "just in case". She got a bollocking from me over it, and a recommendation to visit Hoax Slayer before sending any more chain letters. But she still does, which says a lot about her gullibility. WHY do people believe everything they read and hear?

Reply by Ocean Elf

Heh, I know someone who still believes the headlight gang initiation story after it was debunked years ago. You got to wonder about some people, really!

* * *


Seeking Advice on Catholic forum in June 2013.

The scared poster on the Catholic forum wondered if they had participated in something superstitious or sinful by spreading this chain.

Chain letters are deliberate lies, deliberate lies are sins, but god won't punish anyone who was bullied and coerced by fear into spreading a chain of lies.

It's when people know better and still continue spreading these lies is when they are held responsible.

People who actually start these things are deliberately lying and trying to scare others into spreading this junk, so, yes, I'd call that sin.

What this poster did absolutely right in the end was to delete all of their reposts. This poster should breathe a long sigh of relief, whoever you are, you did your best to undo your frightened part in the Clarissa scheme. You know now not to let chain letters push you around any more. Especially when you're a Christian. Don't ever go back to being intimidated by chain letter boloxes again.

The forum thread contained many great responses debunking and mangling the Clarissa chain and all other such ridiculous bollox.

It also went into the subject of why people make up these things.

The short answer is hoaxers are mean-spirited, and like to get laughs at others' expense, and feel powerful over them.

The person who started Clarissa is likely laughing their fool butt off every time they see a repost where someone has become scared of the chain.

Here's an extensive four-part article on why chain letters are so bad, the first section covering why people start them.

Why chain letters are so bad:

1. What they are, who originates them and why

2. Why they keep spreading

3. Why recipients get annoyed with chain letters and the people who send them

4. Excuses made for sending chain letters, communication and friendships at risk

Along with turning to god when you're frightened, you can turn any chain letter experience around from scary to laughable. You know the saying when life hands you lemons, make lemonade - well, with meme-mangling, we're doing just that. Not merely breaking chain letters, which is simply ignoring/deleting without saying anything. Mangling is about counteracting chain letter coercion and lies, turning the tables on the hoaxers and frauds who start these things, and showing others how to do likewise.

So, there's the basic mangling of Clarissa. In addition to such basic rant-backs, my own Clarissa story shows you How to clobber a supposedly creepy chain letter threat with a story of your own, and empower yourself against these irrational fears being spread by internet trolls.

I challenge every one of you who likes creative writing, that if you are even tempted to be scared of the Clarissa hoax chain, to write your own meme-mangling, or your own Clarissa story about how you or your favourite fictional characters would trounce Clarissa. Try it. You should soon stop being frightened of her. Apply the story and mangle approach to any and all other chain letter hoaxes to come your way.

Here are some links to help you learn about meme-mangling, what it is, and why it is needed.

Why Mangle Memes? The Mission

Death Chain Letters And The Meaning Of The Word Dealive

Meme-Mangling 101

Meme-Manglers: Who We Are

Remember, spreading chain letter hoaxes around as if you actually believe them is spam. Spreading them in the hopes of creeping others out so they'll replicate them, or just trying to annoy others with reposts is spam plus trolling, and neither of these is cool.

In addition, spreading chain letters will make you enemies and ruin your reputation.

So, don't believe in and spread Clarissa. Believe me, you will not die as a result.


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